General Question

simplyasking's avatar

How would you propose to your girlfriend? How would you want to be proposed to?

Asked by simplyasking (52 points ) December 17th, 2009

Hi everyone! I just joined and was hoping I could get some tips. I’m wondering how you go about planning a proposal.

What kinds of steps do you need to take and what sorts of things should you take into consideration when you’re planning it? That is, what can you do to make sure she won’t be let down at all?

I would want it to be fun and unique but still very heartfelt and romantic. If you have general suggestions or personal experiences to share, I would be very grateful to hear them. Thanks!

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

52 Answers

Jude's avatar

Aw, I love this question. Let me think about it. :)

SamIAm's avatar

something that you make really personal will never be a let down, she’ll love it. i can’t wait to see what ideas come up here!

cornbird's avatar

Id make passionate love to her and then when im done ill find a ring right under her pillow and then ill tell her that i want this moment to happen for the rest of our lives and that i love her sooo much.

Facade's avatar

I wouldn’t care how it’s done. The sole act of proposing is romantic to me.

Jude's avatar

Gah, I can’t think of anything. My brain turned to mush and my heart did a thump-a-thump just thinking about (with my lady and I). I’m a dork.

danbambam's avatar

i want it to be totally unexpected in front of everyone. and obviously I want to be by someone I want to be married to. :)

ChocolateReigns's avatar

I heard this in a movie and loved (no pun intended ^_^) it.
“Would you marry me?
I can guarantee you that at one time or another one or both of us will want to get out of it.
I can guarantee you that there will be hard times.
But I can also guarantee you that if I don’t ask you, I will regret it for the rest of my life.”
I would want it to be at the end of a picturesque picnic date by a river/creak (I have this one really pretty place that’s near my house in my head right now). No signs at ball games, jet writing, etc. needed.
If you want to be dramatic about it, you could try this one thing I read about in the Reader’s Digest. The guy told his girlfriend that he was taking her to a art exhibition. They walked through the exhibits and when they got to a specific exhibit, she saw the words “Would you marry me?” slowly fit together out of the different pieces of letters that you originally wouldn’t expect to be pieces of letters but when you stood in the right spot, you could see how they fit together. Obviously, he had arranged it with the artist beforehand, but I thought it was pretty cool. But that only works if you’re the kind of person that goes to art shows and stuff like that.

Good luck!

smartfart11's avatar

Cupcakes with “Will You Marry Me?” on separate cupcakes. Just saw a picture and it’s ADORABLE.

http://weheartit.com/entry/1163041

naivete's avatar

I want something crazy. After he/she/it proposes I want to say: “Hold on… Let me think about it”

Cruiser's avatar

I would like a sunflower with a note that said come away with me…

The_Inquisitor's avatar

What I want is… in a fancy restaurant, after a supper, where the guy gets them to play something fancy on the piano, and then he gets down on his knees and proposes. lol…. ;p

SamIAm's avatar

my best friends parents are these awesome, really Italian people and they had been dating for quite a while when one day her father said to her mother (over dinner with his amazing Brooklyn Italian accent), “you know where getting married, right?” and they’ve been married ever since. that was almost 40 years ago.

chelseababyy's avatar

Go to THIS site, and fall in love. End of story.

UScitizen's avatar

I wouldn’t. I would run like my ass was on fire, and you should too. If you don’t, you’ll understand later.

chyna's avatar

@Cruiser Love your answer. Sunflowers are my favorite flower.

charliecompany34's avatar

a lot of responders will say “make it romantic.” but what is romantic? romantic is when you propose in a way that touches on the first day you met or when she said what she likes to go eat or whatever moment that triggers the day you “knew it.”

charliecompany34's avatar

in other words, it’s not about proposing on a billboard on a major interstate unless she works for the tollway authority and that’s where you first saw her, then it would be cool to propose that way. you have to be creative and go back to a day and time that was pivotal and then go from there.

laureth's avatar

My sweetie proposed on a Valentine’s day. He interrupted the book I was reading with this silly grin on his face and asked if I would consider marrying him. I asked some questions first, like, “Ummm, would this change things a lot?” and he was taken aback. “You’re not supposed to ask questions!” he said, “You’re just supposed to say yes!”

Any way you do it, it’s awesome. She’ll love it. I never got my proposal fantasy involving a Detroit Red Wings game and the Jumbotron, but that’s OK. I have a sweet husband who doesn’t like hockey. ;)

TLRobinson's avatar

You’ll know. Make it natural and include those who mean the most to her.

barbiedoll's avatar

The very BEST way is to have someone close to her who you trust to tell you her dreams. Seriously. The stickiest for men is that they pick out a ring they love, they think she’ll love, and she has other ideas. Her friend/sister/? can let you know whether you need a ring in the proposal. And if she has mused about anything romantic, take notes. She’s serious.

I’m pretty picky, but I’m older and know what I want. I would want him to get down on one knee in a public place, but not so public where people can hear him, just see what is going on, and NOT in front of friends or family. Like a park, or a place that will be ours.

We need to pick out rings together.

My s-n-l wanted my brother to pick out the ring and diamond himself but she had a certain unique type of ring she wanted. She loved everything, and it was completely opposite to me.

Have a wonderful proposal.

avengerscion's avatar

Barbiedoll makes a great point. Have a close friend or relative do some sneaky leg work without letting the girlfriend in on the motive. You’ll gain a lot of insight into her idea of the perfect ring or proposal.
My ex and I happened to look around in a jewelry store one day while doing some other shopping. I made it clear that any ring (not just engagement) would have to meet two guidelines: 1. white gold not yellow gold, and 2. sit low to the finger because tall rings are top heavy and slide around in addition to getting banged around or snagged. A few months later, his excitement took over and he spilled the beans that he and his mother(what did she know about me?) had picked out a ring and put it on hold. He took me to see the ring, and it was horrible! It looked like something you would give in stanless steel and cubic zerconium to your twelve year old niece. Not only did it sit very tall, under the stone on both sides of the ring was a cut out of a heart – bleh(not me at all!). Although I truly appreciated the sentiment and understand that men want to express their love through the ring, I explained to him that I was the one who had to wear it for the rest of my life. Word to the wise: express yourself where you can, but make sure the ring is something she will both like and want to wear for the rest of her life.
I would hate being proposed to in front of family, friends, or co-workers. It’s a personal moment between me and my partner. I’d also like to be able to pop the news and recount the event myself.

Oxymoron's avatar

You shouldn’t really ask this question on the internet considering no one on here knows you or your girlfriend. Use anything that she loves and incorporate it into that day.

Pandora's avatar

My husband proposed in a very odd way. We were talking on the phone and he said that he had to set some money aside for when we get married. I asked him when did he propose and he said oh, I guess I just did. He actually didn’t plan to ask me that way, he just got caught up in our conversation. He appologized because he said he wanted to make it a real romantic moment and he said you don’t have to answer me now in the most heart broken voice. I just melted and told him it didn’t matter where or how he asked, just as long as he wanted to marry me and if he would just put it in a proper sentence. He did and I of course said yes. Good luck, It really doesn’t matter just as long as the sentiment is real. It would’ve been nicer to have it done in person because then he would’ve been able to see my face light up. To girls its the love that makes it special. Usually people like the place they first met.

barbiedoll's avatar

@avengerscion You made me laugh because everything you said is SO true. I was cringing as you described the ring that he and his mother picked out. I’m still cringing.

A sad aside is that my Mom never liked her wedding set, and my Dad gave her the most perfect diamonds in a setting that was not her. She has never told him, just me. She would prefer, like me, that the diamond be big and Not perfect. She was too young to speak up (18) and has gotten wonderful perfect (unperfect) big diamonds she has loved since then from him. They are so romantic after all these years.

deni's avatar

if he’s the one i love and already know i want to spend the rest of my life with, then it wouldn’t matter how he did it. it would be wonderful just because it was him.

i’m not opposed to him mowing the proposal into the lawn and then taking me up in a hot air balloon to look down on it, though.

deni's avatar

@Pandora that is so cute.

lizzmitch's avatar

dont do it in the kitchen (personal experience w/that one, definately unforgettable but not a great story)

broncosgirl's avatar

Something personal. It doesn’t have to be big, or flashy. Something that shows you know her, you love her, and you always will. That’s all I want, and I think that’s all anyone really wants in the end. It’s the love we all want inevitably, the proposal is just an added bonus.

simplyasking's avatar

Sounds like making it personal and true to you as a couple are the key things. What about going down on the knee, asking the parents and traditional stuff like that? Do most girls expect that or are guys today expected to do things differently?

bean's avatar

This is such a wonderful question! Think about her, what she likes, what’s romantic to her and she will be surprised! everyones different and also she’ll be excited :)

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I proposed in the straighforward traditional way. On my knees with a 2 ct diamond ring in hand.

chyna's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Yeah, the 2 ct. would’ve made me say yes in a heartbeat!

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@chyna It would have been a 5 ct but it would have looked so ridiculously large on her small hand. She was my life.

chyna's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land It sounds like she was very lucky to have you.

simplyasking's avatar

So how important would you guys say the ring is to the proposal? I would want it to be the best quality I could get—I was thinking platinum for the setting (because it’s durable and doesn’t tarnish) and at least a 1 carat diamond.

chyna's avatar

@simplyasking My opinion of the ring is, buy whatever you can comfortably afford. My ex had picked out the ring on his own, with no idea what I would like. It was perfect. Whatever he chose would’ve been perfect. My only qualification would be to make sure that whatever you buy, in this case you are thinking platinum, make sure it will go with her other jewlry. If she wears only gold, you might get gold instead.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@simplyasking 18k gold doesn’t tarnish either and looks better IMHO.

simplyasking's avatar

My girlfriend wears silver way more than gold, so I think she’d want a white metal.

chyna's avatar

@simplyasking Not that we are voyeurs here, but let us know when and how it went down, what you said, what she said.. you get the drift, the whole proposal!

simplyasking's avatar

Oh it’s still a ways away…I’m just trying to get a head start, as well as fantasize a little bit :) But when I do, I certainly will.

Response moderated
stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Please disregard all my previous remarks in this thread. I have no desire to participate in such questions in future.

laureth's avatar

Uh oh…

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@cornbird has a very nice idea there! Me, I’d take her to a place the two of you associate with your earliest, most romantic time together and do it there with a ring. You ask about types of metal for the engagement/wedding ring- platinum is very popular because it holds a shine and resists scratching well a bit better than gold but look a what jewelry she likes most and take your cue there. Many people don’t mind their wedding bands being a different metal than their other jewelry though.

slick44's avatar

Valentines Day. thays when my husband poped the ques. He got a beutifule hotel rm. filled it with balloons ant flowers and left a ring in a heart shaped box on my pillow. How could a girl say no to that.

nana098's avatar

im a girl but I alway dream of getting proprosed to on christmas eve… in central park…i=skating and when he’ll do this fancy trick he’ll fall to his knee and right in front of the beatiful tree he’ll sat “will you be mine and marry me?” <3 or just do it with the family

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@nana098 Have you seen the movie, Serendipity? If not, it’s a ‘must see’ for you.

viscaria1800's avatar

Something really creative, don’t just propose over dinner thats just boring, if you make it your own it will seem like you care more and would make for a great story when you get older :)

itsjustcruel's avatar

Go bunjee jumping, and write at the bottom of the jumping platform Will you marry me? Jump for yes!

chelle21689's avatar

I think it’d be nice to make it romantic and creative. I’d also like to hear a little speech about how wonderful I am and why he wants me as his wife ;)

Response moderated (Spam)

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther