Social Question

john65pennington's avatar

Is it possible to fall in love with someone on the web and does it ever work out?

Asked by john65pennington (29070 points ) April 9th, 2012

This question is requested by my daughter. Is it possible to fall in love with someone that you have never met in person? Is looking at a photograph and thier written word enough to bring two people together? And, do social websites really work or are they just another means of taking our money?

Question: is it possible to fall in love with someone on the web and does it ever work out?

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24 Answers

harple's avatar

Yes to the first part (though I believe you can only know if it is real when you meet in person).

As to the latter, I’m afraid I can’t answer that. It will depend on many factors. Say, for example, the two people who meet online live on the other side of the world from eachother – with immigration rules that’s a hard one to overcome.

rebbel's avatar

It seems to be totally possible to fall in love online and get a steady relationship out of it, as I have seen several people stating (on television, in documentaries or repos) that that is exactly what happened to them.

Akua's avatar

Most defiantely. It can and does happen.

downtide's avatar

Speaking from personal experience: Yes you can fall in love on the internet without meeting them.

As for whether it “works out”, that depends on a lot of practical issues, like how far apart the couple live, whether or not they’re also in other relationships, etc. People can and do end up happily married after meeting online but sometimes immigration laws make it impossible.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Yes and of course, it can work out. Worked out fine, for me.

JLeslie's avatar

Certainly there are relationships that have started online and wind up being full blown love affairs, marriage, happily ever after. I don’t know if I would say people are in love while just communicating over the internet, I guess that is possible, but I would say deep like for sure, and then you have to meet and see where it goes. I am pretty sure we have had a few jellies meet and wind up dating. One couple got married if I remember correctly. I presonally know several people who met their SO on dating websites.

poisonedantidote's avatar

I’m getting married to “the girl I met on omele.com” later this year. I’m sure she would be very happy to know I called her that.

I do love her, but that only really came after we met, before it was just infatuation. Also, it was not just a photo and text, we used to chat on cam every day for quite some time, years in fact.

6rant6's avatar

Of course. People meet in bars and fall in love. There they don’t have time to review messages and they are impaired. I’d think meeting on line would tend to work out better.

quiddidyquestions's avatar

Sure… but I would never consider it “real” and true until they meet in person.

AshlynM's avatar

It’s how I met my late husband. We had been married for 6 years.

6rant6's avatar

Hey arranged marriages work out for a lot of people – even if they never meet before the event and the rest of us have to settle for deranged marriages.

marinelife's avatar

No, how could you? You don’t have any interaction with the person. You can’t look in their eyes. You can’t even tell if they are cross-eyed. You can’t see their body language reaction to stressful situations. You can’t see them get angry.

You can’t smell them or feel them. We are wired to fall in love chemically.

Can you meet someone on the Web and form a lasting relationship? Yes, but you need to meet them in person for an attraction to be confirmed.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

A friend joined an e-mail exchange site and somehow met up with a young woman from Russia who spoke no English. Their e-mails to each other needed to be translated. I can’t remember how long this went on, but by the time he finally went to meet her, he took an engagement ring along. They’ve been married now for over 10 years. They have two wonderful boys, whom she home schools.

My brother met his wife through an online dating site. It may not be a good example though, as they lived in the same area, so it didn’t take long for them to get together in person. The point is, the connection was made, and it stuck.

Upon his urging, I joined one of the dating sites for six months. I didn’t have any luck, but the process was fairly entertaining. (The one person I met was actually from your neck of the woods John.)

About a year later, I joined a virtual world internet site in order to do some research for work. By pure accident, I met another member, and we struck it off. Within three weeks, we had exchanged e-mail addresses. It took little time to realize that this was someone special. We eventually turned to web-camming. It’s amazing how much you can learn about someone that way. Six months after the initial meeting, we met in person. That was 4½ years ago, and we’re still together, although I haven’t officially moved to England yet.

So, yes John, please tell your daughter that the possibility of an internet relationship can start on the internet. Just like in real life, she may need to “meet” a lot of people online before, and if ever, finding the right one.

ucme's avatar

I’m sure it is & equally sure it probably does.
Horses for courses & all that.

Facade's avatar

My SO and I initially met on Myspace, and it’ll be 5 years this summer. It’s possible.

FutureMemory's avatar

Hell yeah it is.

Before the internet, I fell in love with someone through letter-writing and phone calls only. We did eventually meet, and she ended up moving to my part of California to finish school and be with me. We were a real life couple for 5 years, 3 of which were spent living together.

That success story aside, I think it’s easy to believe you are in love when you’re really simply infatuated. When you’re unable to see a person’s foibles (because what you see on the internet is what people let you see, after all), it’s much easier to put them on a pedestal and think higher of them then they might deserve.

Proceed with caution.

6rant6's avatar

@FutureMemory “Infatuated.” Isn’t that just the past tense of “I’m in love?”

FutureMemory's avatar

No. In the context of relationships, I’ve always taken it to mean being obsessed with someone for reasons that don’t hold up under scrutiny.

6rant6's avatar

@FutureMemory ”...don’t hold up under scrutiny”? You mean some of them do? There is virtually no retaionship that someone doesn’t think is bogus. “Hold up under scrutiny.” You’re just defending the place your ship happened to wreck on.

Or are you saying that if you, @futurememory, don’t hold it to be valid, it’s not love? That would make you what, God, or TMZ?

FutureMemory's avatar

@6rant6 I have no idea what you’re on about. Maybe you need some fresh air.

6rant6's avatar

@FutureMemory Here you go. One syllable words:

Folks say, “I was just infatuated,” when love goes bad. They had the same love that all of us have. It’s just they act as if it were not real. It was, in fact, just as real. That’s why I call “Infatuation” the past tense of love.”

Can you follow that?

FutureMemory's avatar

If you think there is only one “level” or degree of ‘love’...I can see why you don’t understand my post. Go out and get some more life experience before you try to speak with such authority.

Ela's avatar

You can meet someone online and you can fall in love with the image they project. Until you meet them in real life they are in a sense like a character from a book. It’s like an interactive romance novel. You produce pictures in your mind of all the things they tell (write) to you and you tell them. Only thing is that if you don’t meet in real life, you don’t know for certain if it is a true story or simply all fiction.
If your daughter is considering joining a social/dating website, I strongly suggest you ask her to be extremely careful. In my opinion, they have changed so much in the last few years. I also believe she should make a list of warning signs. It’s too easy to overlook them once you get wrapped up in the story.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Suggest that she watch Catfish, a documentary of one online relationship that went awry.

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