When you pay, does that give you a right to control the person you are paying for?
Let’s say you are giving money to a homeless person. Do you feel you should spend it for them, too? I.e., control what they spend it on to make sure you approve of their choices?
Let’s say you hire someone. Are you paying for their behavior in non-working hours, as well? Some big stars have “morals” clauses in their contracts. They get caught doing something illegal, and they can lose their job. When you hire a workman, do you expect them not to smoke on the job (no matter what they smoke)?
How about a child. Do you believe in giving an allowance and letting them spend on whatever they want? If they earn their own money, do you expect to have a say in how they spend it or is it theirs to do what they want with? Do you try to influence them, but let them have final say, or do you give them carte blanche to spend their money how they see fit? At what age does your attitude about this change?