Social Question

mazingerz88's avatar

Do you think it's unfair that nobody asked you if you wanted to exist?

Asked by mazingerz88 (18507 points ) July 8th, 2012

If you don’t feel or believe it’s unfair, then how do you feel about living your life, whether it’s good right now or bad, knowing that no one gave you a choice to become who and what you are?

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20 Answers

Symbeline's avatar

I don’t think it’s unfair, because I don’t think anyone or anything decided that I, or anyone, should exist. At least not on any religious or spiritual terms, and according to my parents, I was an accident, anyways. Lol.

Sometimes I might feel a bit like that, but overall life is pretty cool, and I was born normally, with my entire body and senses working. at least I think so There are a lot of shitty cards I could have been dealt, and I so consider myself very fortunate for a being that has had no say in its existence.

mazingerz88's avatar

@Symbeline Aha, it’s right up there under “gratitude”. Cool. Wait, are you sure you’re body and senses are working? No spider sense? Fangs?

Skyline43's avatar

I couldn’t fathom being non-existent. I can’t say I truly believe that’s what anyone wants.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

I am not saying this due to any bad childhood, on the contrary…... But, if were up to me, I truly would not choose existence.

Symbeline's avatar

@mazingerz88 Well there is this weird feeling of empowerment I get whenever I see a spider. It inspires me. Seen that new Spiderman movie yet? Sposed to be pretty good.

Skyline43's avatar

I get depressed to the point where I don’t feel life is worth living at times, and I still wouldn’t choose it. As a matter of fact, no one can fathom it. It’s not like you get to relax in the blackness and say “Haha world, I don’t exist. You can’t screw me over.” Your spirit would be completely erased. You would not be, and no one knows what that’s like because it takes existence to even conjure a thought.

I think it takes either an ignorant amount of self-hatred or serious lack of understanding, to not want to exist (while you do). I’m not saying it’s ridiculous to want a choice. If people would rather not exist than exist, it means they don’t like the life they live. They don’t care for it. Life is short and you should make the best of it, rather than taking it for granted.

Kardamom's avatar

This is one of those situations that isn’t unfair, because it’s neither here nor there. There’s nothing you could do about it, and neither could your parents, in the sense that they couldn’t talk into their ovaries or testicles and ask you if you wanted to be born.

What you do with your life after you are here is all about you, so it doesn’t matter whether it was fair or not, it just is. Everybody that is alive has the choice to continue living or to discontinue living.

Blueroses's avatar

Well. Whether or not I gave original permission for this existence is a matter of philosophy/spirituality.

The fact that, every day, I choose not to lie down on the railroad tracks and not to juggle chainsaws equals my implied consent to the contract.

I think that would hold up in any court.

jonsblond's avatar

I’m happy I’m here. I’m actually very thankful.

Blu's avatar

Fairness is a stupid concept. I find it hilarious when people say, “it’s not fair!” Of course it’s not fair. Fairness is just some half baked idea that things should be, should go one way another preferably in their favor. That I did x therefore I deserve y, that’s fair. No it’s not, no one deserves anything regardless of their actions. Things just are, things just happen, the sooner people understand that, the less irritating they’ll be. Sure you can struggle, work, fight for something whether it be wages, an ideal, etc. But at the end of the day, regardless of whether or not you’ve obtained that wage or whatever, it is what it is. It isn’t fair, it isn’t unfair, it just is what it is.

So from that little paragraph, I think you can gleam my answer..

ragingloli's avatar

No.
First of all, no one gets asked for permission, and second, I would have to exist first in order to even be able to consent, in which case it would already be too late anyway.

Mariah's avatar

Yeah, it freaks me the hell out that people can just be born into broken bodies or terrible circumstances and have no say in the matter, and then they have to live. Or else kill themselves, and then people will say they were selfish or cowardly. Fuck that.

I don’t want to die, but I sometimes wish I’d never been born (cue Queen). No really though, so far my existence has had a net negative effect on the world. Dying is not gonna fix that, and if I’m being realistic, continuing to live probably isn’t either. And I have a hard time swallowing that. No one wants to be a parasite.

Blueroses's avatar

Umm, @Mariah, I would beg to differ that your existence has a net negative impact.

Perhaps you are differentiating between what you perceive in your every day and what you do online, but you have made a large impact just in this little community. There’s not one person here who would know your body is imperfect if you hadn’t said so and your mind is so quick and so unique…. you definitely have an impact.

I’m not just saying that to give you a “stroke”, either. Plenty of folks, I don’t care if they write a novel or jump off a bridge… but you have a spark of something, even when you’re feeling contrary, that is certainly a contribution to life as we know it.

so there

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think it’s a non-problem.

mazingerz88's avatar

@Symbeline I could tell I’m a bit drunk ( rum! ) when I wrote “you’re” instead of “your” in my last post. Lol. And oh yeah, saw Spidey at a 12 midnight pre-screening. I like! It kinda dragged at first until I realized it was because it’s the same story I’m watching again! A reboot…yey? The best part for me was the last 15 minutes. Great job on all the acting. Enjoyed that Gwen Stacy actress. Never liked Kirsten Dunst that’s why. I’ve been a fan of Garfield since Boy A. Missed him in Death of a Salesman opening day, by a day, 4 months ago. But ooooohh…aaahhhhh…the sfx on Spidey was auuuwsaaam! Nice aerial posing Spidey-boy! Btw, I didn’t like the new outfit much though. Heh. : )

@Mariah I had a high-school friend, one of my dearest, who took himself out of the equation a few years ago. Marital problems. In high-school, he was the jokey, cool and easy going guy. Never thought he would do that. I thought then, why rush, hurry yourself into dying? Life is short anyway so why not hang in there. Now, I’m not so sure. I don’t like that people undergo traumatic and painful experiences in life and then sometimes be judged by and for it. Who or what started all that in motion? Does IT even realize what it has done? Shoving a clueless someone into a bloody gladiator match. It’s not about fairness some say. It was never. But, something or someone out there is a true mean fucking sadist. Maybe.

lillycoyote's avatar

Well, that’s kind of the way things are; how life works. I don’t waste a lot of time worrying about or resenting things that are absolutely, emphatically, unquestionably impossible to do anything about.

The only way I can correct having been born is to kill myself and I’m not going to do that.

Edit: And @ragingloli is absolutely correct. Exactly how would “they” go about securing someone’s permission to exist if that person didn’t already exist on some level?

And if you refused to give permission to exist then you wouldn’t exist so you would exist to know that you didn’t give permission. Maybe you were asked if you wanted to exist and you just don’t know it? Who the eff know? You are. That’s that.

bookish1's avatar

@Skyline43 : That thought was the only thing keeping me from killing myself when I was younger. The realization that even if I did die, there would then be no “me” to rejoice in the fact that I was no longer suffering. Pretty grim, but it worked.

I used to resent not being given a choice in the matter of existence, but I was profoundly unhappy as a pre-self-realizing transsexual teenager. Also had an abusive family that I didn’t even understand was abusive until I moved out. So I felt pretty trapped.

Now, though, I think the joke is on my parents, because they created a life which they probably would have aborted had they known how I would have turned out. And I am RUNNING WITH THIS SHIT, baby. Living it up. Hijacking my genes.

Sunny2's avatar

You’re asking a question based on a proposition that doesn’t exist in reality. Good and bad, I accept the life I’ve had, both its highs and lows. Nobody ever asked for my permission about a lot of things. Why should they?

emeraldisles's avatar

It is what it is. I’m spiritual. Unfortunately crap happens. You can choose your thoughts. You can try to get out or to choose a better option so you are happier, and take some sort of action. My therapist is actually very correct in the matter that I always feel better and probably 99% of us feel better when we can take action and make progress instead of being stuck all the time.

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