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anon12345678's avatar

NSFW: Why does doggy-style hurt my g/f so much?

Asked by anon12345678 (19 points ) July 11th, 2012

My g/f dislikes having doggy style sex, because it causes her immense pain. As she described it, it feels like having a knife inside her. This problem is only there for doggy-style, and we have no issues with other positions.

I am somewhat larger than average, but not so large that I would think it would cause this type of pain. I’ve never had this complaint (at least told to me) by any of my former partners (and there are over a dozen). My g/f also seems to be new to this type of pain with this position (though I’ve not really been keen on asking her about her past sexual adventures to find out the the specifics).

Does anyone have an idea what could be causing this and/or how to prevent it? I really enjoy doggy style, but it’s a problem if it’s just excruciating for her.

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17 Answers

thebluewaffle's avatar

“I am somewhat larger than average, but not so large that I would think it would cause this type of pain.”

Post a pic, so I can compare mine!

sinscriven's avatar

The obvious solution in my head to try is to not go so deep and hit it so hard.

Her vaginal canal may not be as accommodating as you may have seen in the past and that sharp stabbing pain maybe could be you hitting her cervix like a punching bag.

Uberwench's avatar

Are you forcing her back into a specific position? Some women have trouble when their back is arched downward because it causes the penis to hit the cervix. See what happens if she arches her back upwards instead. Also, take it slow and be gentle.

ucme's avatar

Maybe her “kennel” is a little on the snug side.

DigitalBlue's avatar

To the best of my knowledge this is one of those positions that tends to allow deeper penetration, which may be the issue if you’re a bit on the large side. I have this problem when I am on top with most guys, and now even my husband, although he is not especially huge, and it has gotten to the point where I go from fine, to crying from sudden, sharp cervical pain. It does not feel good when that happens. Our solution has been to not use that position as a particularly “enthusiastic” one, and more of a “warm up,” which usually works, since I can control the pace and depth. Maybe this position just doesn’t work for you, but you could try just taking it easy and go slowly and not as deep. If that doesn’t help, then maybe just avoid it altogether.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Perhaps because you go deeper in doggy, and the positioning of your penis is slightly different. I know that occasionally doggy can be uncomfortable for me, and I have to ask my husband to ease back a little.

It may also have something to do with her body’s cycles. Sometimes deep doggy feels incredibly good, and sometimes it hurts. It’s usually more painful for me during menses, and the week before menses.

Also, it depends on how her body is positioned during doggy. If she’s not positioned correctly, you can rub against her cervix too much, which can be painful.

mowens's avatar

Only a dozen?! Come on man! Step it up a bit!!! ;)

anon12345678's avatar

During sex, the pain seems to begin before I’m even halfway inside her on each individual thrust. I would think I wouldn’t be causing any contact with her cervix until I was at least close to fully inserted.

As far as the positioning of her body, it doesn’t seem to matter how it is positioned. We’ve tried it with her butt up (all fours) and her butt down more to the level of her feet (knees pulled in front. Head up and head down. Back arched upward (with or without me pulling hair/shoulders to help), or back not arched at all (downward arch seems difficult. We’ve also tried with her legs closed (between mine) or open (mine between hers).

Lubrication also doesn’t seem to be the issue, as often we’ll switch to this after we’re well underway, or use large amounts of lubricant… and the issue remains.

It could simply be that she’s smaller than most girls (though my own non-scientific memory of my past partners is that several of them were at least as tight or tighter). But I am of the belief that other positions would provide the same issue, though maybe not to as great an extent.

fundevogel's avatar

Jesum lord mercy. You’ve explored just about every way to sex your lady in a position that causes her pain. But there’s a simpler answer:

If it hurts her don’t do it.

Duh. I am of course assuming that you care enough about her to want to avoid situations you know she finds painful. Revisiting a position she associates with pain, even in an attempt find a painless way to do it, is probably not going to work. Chances are her anticipation of pain will thwart whatever you could do to make the experience pleasurable. So layoff about your giant cock and work on finding positions that both you and your lady find pleasurable. Maybe after a while she’ll be ready to give it another shot, but you can’t force her body to change the feelings she gets her bits.

anon12345678's avatar

@fundevogel Quite typically we don’t engage in that style of sex. My g/f wishes to please me though, and knows it’s basically my favorite position, so we’ve… endeavored to find ways to make it not hurt for her… Hence me asking here.

fundevogel's avatar

Maybe let her know that there’s more way than one way to please you and that you’re open to exploring new things with her. Doggy doesn’t have to be the holy grail does it?

anon12345678's avatar

@fundevogel She’s well aware of other things I like, and I (we) happily partake in them regularly. That doesn’t mean we can’t try to figure out what the issue is on this front does it?

fundevogel's avatar

I just don’t want either of you to turn this into a quest when it should just be fun.

thebluewaffle's avatar

All this sex talk has got me sooo excited to further my quest to lose my virginity!

ccrow's avatar

Maybe she should get an exam… I once had an abscess on or near one of the Fallopian tubes, and it caused random excruciating pain during sex. It took three courses of antibiotics to clear it up completely.

pezz's avatar

And there’s me thinking all gay sex was only doggy style

psyonicpanda's avatar

“no vagina is the same”
Some women have deeper or more shallow vaginal walls that can be disrupted by you penis depending on your size and shape. I would suggest being slow with it. I had a girlfriend once with the same issue but, she was very skinny. If that doesnt work there is a whole book of other things to do that can be just as fun.

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