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ETpro's avatar

Why aren't we better at listening?

Asked by ETpro (34247 points ) December 1st, 2012

Listen to Ernesto Sirolli’s fascinating TED talk, Want to help someone? Shut up and listen!! Yes, the video is 17 minutes long, and Ernesto has a thick Italian accent, but please listen to it all the way through before answering. Find a moment when you have the time. The last two minutes of the talk are where the jewels lie, but there is no shortcut into the mine where they are buried.

Enjoy the video, and let me know what you think. And if you think I have been a poor example of his “Enterprise Facilitation” system, you’re right. I will be working on getting better at that.

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13 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

A family member wrote a wonderful book about teaching called Teaching with your Mouth Shut. Published in 2000 postumously, it advances the same ideas…to be used in the classroom and primarily for college students. This is a standard handbook for many college teachers.

ETpro's avatar

@gailcalled I’ll have to read that. Perhaps it can help this big mouth in his rehabilitation.

gailcalled's avatar

The ideas are designed for classroom teaching and not therapy or helping issues. But it is an innovative, interesting and clearly-written book.

ETpro's avatar

@gailcalled I can adapt its lessons if they are presented well. And I’m going to need to know how to teach this as well, because this entrepreneur has an idea that Enterprise Facilitation applies perfectly to.

bookish1's avatar

@ETpro, thank you for the link. I’ll listen to it today.
@gailcalled, darn, I wish I had heard of that book years ago. It sounds great. And I’m not even teaching next semester :-p

bkcunningham's avatar

Respect. Yes. And become a servant. You must learn to have true compassion and love for another person and their needs. Have you ever been to a foot washing? Prepare a meal for strangers in need. Before the meal you must wash the strangers’ feet.

In silence, you sit on the ground and wash the feet of these strangers who you are going to feed. You wash these people’s feet with warm, sudsy water in a small basin you move with you from person to person. Strangers. You anoint their feet with oil after you have washed them. After this, you break bread with these strangers and get to know them.

janbb's avatar

@gailcalled I saw that on a shelf of pedagogical books at my college and was so surprised and pleased when I saw who the author was. I wrote a note to Ben.

@ETpro I will listen to it when I have the time. Thanks!

cookieman's avatar

I’m sorry. Did you say something?

Linda_Owl's avatar

Maybe it is because we go into situations with preconceived impressions, without understanding the reality of the situation (like the Hippos consuming the entire crop of ripe tomatoes!).

ninjacolin's avatar

Lol,I sent that talk to my dad just yesterday.

Sunny2's avatar

Our minds are filled with preconceived ideas and predicted answers. They get in the way of or listening to other people’s ideas. Throw out a question and take brief notes of what is said by whom. Then you’ll be prepared for further comments, discussion, and how your own ideas fit in (or don’t).

AshLeigh's avatar

Because we’re too good at talking.

ETpro's avatar

Hey, GA1 for all. I’m not here to argue, just listen.

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