Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

How much is (was) your virginity worth?

Asked by wundayatta (58354 points ) December 11th, 2012

If you’re Natalie, it might be worth upwards of 3.8 million dollars. Unless this is a hoax. If it isn’t a hoax, what do you think? Do you think we’ll start seeing a rash of women auctioning off their virginity?

Would you auction off yours, if you could?

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30 Answers

livelaughlove21's avatar

This has happened many times. I saw it once a few years ago, I believe, on eBay.

It’s gross. All it makes you is a high dollar hooker. And how do you tell future partners about this? “Oh, by the way, I spread my legs for whatever random guy offers me a large sum of money.”

wildpotato's avatar

I wouldn’t do it because I like to have more control over my sex life than that – but that’s just my personal feeling about it, which I emphatically do not extend as a general moral precept. I see nothing wrong with doing this, provided the person is not being coerced in any way. I don’t think anyone has the right to interfere with someone else’s freely made sexual choices, so long as those choices do not harm others.

Your question makes me think of Memoirs of a Geisha, though of course the circumstances are very different. This sort of thing – auctioning off virginity – has been going on for a long time, as livelaughlove also observed.

burntbonez's avatar

I would never spend money on someone else’s virginity. I don’t really see the value, unless you believe in the myths about curing the clap or something.

As to my own, I dunno. I can’t imagine anyone bidding four million dollars for it, but if they did, I would have to seriously consider it. I know there’s a famous quip about that making me into a whore, but frankly, I wouldn’t care. I just don’t know what my lower limit would be. Not that anyone wants to take a guy’s virginity, or rather, if they did, it would probably be another guy, and I don’t know if I would even be willing to part with that virginity for four million. It would hurt too much. But still…. that’s a lot of money. It would set me up for life.

Yeahright's avatar

When I was a virgin 30 odd years ago. I wouldn’t have done it. Not because I thought much of my virginity, but because I didn’t know the value of money and I couldn’t phantom being intimate with a stranger. These days I probably would for that amount of cash. As @burntbonez said it would set me up for the rest of my life.

Unbroken's avatar

I dunno I don’t think 4 million would be enough for me. My virginity wasn’t worth much to me when I had it. So it almost doesn’t make sense.

I think my pride, that has been my lifesaver and my curse over the years.

Yeah I like to have control over my sex life as well. I will do almost anything I have in order to survive.

If surviving isn’t on the table I think I would turn it down and sort of wonder how my life would be different had I chosen the opposite. And times when I was really broke and stressed it would poke it’s head up and say you fool all because of pride…. And I would say I know.
I would still be proud about it. Yes I have inner dialogue’s where I talk back to myself.

SavoirFaire's avatar

I never really considered the matter. Several women fought over it, but I rather think taking bids would have dampened whatever appeal I had. I rather agree with Voltaire, however, that “it is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.” Virginity itself is not worth anything.

Ms. Dylan seems to agree. As noted in the link, she is exploiting what she takes to be the ill-founded beliefs of others. That said, I still wouldn’t do what she is doing. Virginity is worthless, but dignity is worth a great deal. For me, what Ms. Dylan is doing could never be a dignified act. I just hope it is for her somehow.

tinyfaery's avatar

Everything and nothing.

Unbroken's avatar

@Savoir_Faire You always have an interesting point of view. Good answer

wundayatta's avatar

Virginity had a negative worth to me. It was a matter of shame. I kept my virginity into my third decade, and it was a sign of how pathetic I was; how much of a failure I was with women. Having said that, I would not have paid to get rid of it. I had that much pride. I wanted to find a lover on my own, and I wanted her to be a real lover.

In the end, she was a real love. One who broke my heart in more pieces than anyone else ever has since then. We were both virgins. Rank amateurs. Eventually we learned more of the art of love together, but it was the blind leading the blind.

I don’t understand how any woman’s virginity could be of such value to a man. It is the ultimate in aggressive acts. While, like the geisha, she might be trained in the arts, what will she know, really, without physical experience? And will she have to bleed to prove her virginity? What if she doesn’t? Will an independent panel of doctors examine her?

What’s in it for the man? It’s probably just status. The guy won’t even have a big cock. He’s overcompensating by paying for a virgin who, presumably, won’t know how woefully inadequate he is. Or else he’ll be a super confident lover who wants to prove he can make even a virgin he doesn’t know cum like a machine gun. Four million dollars? That’s just plain insane!

zensky's avatar

For me it just sort of happened – with the girl I was with at the time.

As per the case mentioned by the OP – those who condone prostitution – with the price per session ranging from a few dollars to hundreds of dollars (geographically speaking) – won’t mind someone selling their virginity for millions – and more power to her.

I do not condone either. But this is probably just me. I am not judging – I am merely opposed to it.

jonsblond's avatar

I might as well have auctioned mine off because the guy I lost my virginity to used me. I thought he liked me. Boy was I naive. He blew me off the next day.

jeez, I still feel the hurt. 25 years later

tedd's avatar

In my experience virginity costs can very. Could be 3 dates, a few dinners, and a few hours of foreplay…. or 9 months, hundreds of dollars on gifts/dates/etc, and a massive input of time.

lol

ucme's avatar

I only had to buy her a couple of drinks, so around £4.28.

trailsillustrated's avatar

Nothing. at. all. It was there one day, gone the next.

augustlan's avatar

Man, I sort of wish I’d thought of this idea! I mean, not really, but I was fighting guys off for a long time before I gave mine willingly. Maybe I could have made a few million off of it! Think how much that money would have meant in my (mostly poor) life.

I don’t get why anyone would pay that much for virginity, though. It’s just silly.

ragingloli's avatar

10 quid and a cookie.

Yeahright's avatar

There are a few statements here that I’m not quite understanding, so it’d be nice if you cared to elaborate on them a bit:
@wildpotato I wouldn’t do it because I like to have more control over my sex life than that What does that mean exactly? Is it not to have a lot of control if you choose the person you are going to give your virginity to and for whatever you want in return (money in this case)? I know of girls who have done it with guys whom they thought had feelings for them and were eventually disappointed, and have regretted it for the rest of their lives, and wished they had done it with someone else.
@rosehips I think my pride What is pride for you and how does it relate to exchanging virginity for money?
@SavoirFaire Ms. Dylan is doing could never be a dignified act again as above, what is your definition of dignity and how does it apply to this case?

PS: JIC, I want to understand and learn, not to engage in any direct confrontation or exchange of wits. I understand and have a high regard of dignity and pride, I just want to understand how they directly relate or apply to this situation in particular.

wildpotato's avatar

@Yeahright Exactly – I wouldn’t want to give up my power to choose the individuals I have sex with. If I later regret the choice – and I have – so be it, but I don’t see the regret as invalidating the importance of making the choice.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@Yeahright Let us begin by noting that I did not say what you quote me as saying. What I said was that ”for me, what Ms. Dylan is doing could never be a dignified act,” which is to say that I personally would not continue to feel like a dignified human being were I personally to sell my virginity (particularly in such a public manner). My mind and values are arranged such that doing so would damage my self-respect. Since you hold dignity in high regard, you can perhaps see why I hope that Ms. Dylan’s mind and values are arranged such that she will not suffer the same consequences.

augustlan's avatar

@wildpotato In the article, it says she’s not necessarily going with the highest bidder. She reserves the right to choose whichever one she wants.

Yeahright's avatar

@wildpotato I’m still failing to understand where you are coming from since Ms Dylan is in fact exercising such control by choosing her first sex partner.

@SavoirFaire what I really wanted to get to was your definition of dignity. Again you used the word w/o defining it first. It seem obvious that for her choosing such partner and getting some tangible cash in exchange is more dignifying than giving “something so valuable” for free. I’m sure she’ll be laughing all the way to the bank, no regret in that!

wildpotato's avatar

@Yeahright augustlan has identified the disconnect: I skimmed the story and missed that essential detail.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@Yeahright I take dignity to be the virtue concerned with respect, especially self-respect. This should be fairly clear from the answer I gave, even if I did not provide my definition in dictionary format.

burntbonez's avatar

Dignity seems to me to be about status. People who are very concerned with status want to remain dignified all the time. It would seem that selling your virginity is not an act most people would give you props for. It is, after all, prostitution, and prostitutes are not held in high esteem. Most people think you should make a living another way.

But you can gain notoriety with acts like this, and that gives you a kind of status. Arguably, you could gain a lot of dignity if you sell yourself for a high enough amount. That tells people how much your twat is worth. But it does take you from being a person to being a thing. Even if she reserves the right to choose among high bidders, she is still working hard to objectify herself.

But, in a few years, most people will forget. She’ll have all the money she needs. Like winning the lottery. There will be plenty of time to restore her dignity later.

Yeahright's avatar

@burntbonez plenty of lurve to you. Like the way you think but mostly the way you write.

I still fail to see why she is disrespecting herself or how choosing the highest bidder (or not) gets to be the gist of the article.

Patton's avatar

@burntbonez I disagree, and I like @SavoirFaire‘s definition better. What you seem to be talking about is glory or honor. Those are definitely about status. You need other people to give them to you. But dignity is different. That’s why it is normal to talk about people maintaining their dignity even when others have disrespected them. So putting it in terms of respect or self-respect seems right.

@Yeahright If @burntbonez is right that she is objectifying herself, then she is disrespecting herself. Objectification is by definition degrading. It is a way of saying that someone (possibly oneself) has the same status as a mere object and not that of a person.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

It’s gross. All it makes you is a high dollar hooker. And how do you tell future partners about this? “Oh, by the way, I spread my legs for whatever random guy offers me a large sum of money.” What it did was expose most other women and young ladies as low-rent, low-budget hookers. I can’t see the difference in saying, “I lost my virginity to a man who bid 3.2 million for it”, than someone saying, “I lost my virginity homecoming night under the bleacher with some band geek I knew.” At least the woman who sold it thought enough about its value to actually get something tangible out of it. To blow it on Spring Break with some guy because he had a great smile and a nice tan, and after a couple of drinks figure “why not?” is liking to using diamonds as sinkers on the end of your fishing hook.

The article asked: What do you think? Is Natalie a forward-thinking feminist or a profiteering prostitute? I say neither, she was, in this case, a smart entrepreneur. If she is not going to save it for her husband she might as well get more than a bag of chips, flowers, night at the theater, or a bag of chips or a sack of dope for it.

augustlan's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central What on earth makes you think that “most other women” ‘lose’ their virginity to any old guy who happens to be around? I mean, I’m sure it happens, but I personally don’t know anyone who went about it in that way. And even if they do, how does that make them hookers? WTF. The way you think about women in general just astonishes me, honestly.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@augustlan I mean, I’m sure it happens, but I personally don’t know anyone who went about it in that way. Maybe they didn’t but I have met plenty that did not think carefully enough about it, or place enough importance on it for it to turn out differently.

And even if they do, how does that make them hookers? If they are not backdoor unintended hookers, there is only one other thing they can be. Webster’s has it entered as:

1 pros•ti•tute
transitive verb
pros•ti•tut•ed pros•ti•tut•ing
Definition of PROSTITUTE
1
: to offer indiscriminately for sexual intercourse especially for money
2
: to devote to corrupt or unworthy purposes : debase <prostitute one’s talents>
pros•ti•tu•tor noun
Related to PROSTITUTE
Synonyms
abase, bastardize, canker, cheapen, corrupt, debauch, degrade, demean, demoralize, deprave, deteriorate, lessen, pervert, poison, profane, debase, subvert, vitiate, warp

Because it said ”especially for money” it did not stop at only for money. Many women go out with guys who have jobs or are not broke because they figure no matter how hot, (sometimes if he is hot enough they don’t care) he has to provide, dinner, theater, a movie or something; it is not going to be, show up, face sucking, groping, clothes off and in the sheets with out so much as a glass of wine of a cup of coffee. Even when they know naked in bed is where they are going to end up. To trade or receive anything for the sex makes whoever receives it a de facto hooker. It is not full-blown prostitution, more equivalent to an embezzler to a bank robber; they are both stealing but the robber is more direct. Stripping it down to plain logic and what event are it cheapens the sex and merely waste the devirginizing experience by demeaning, cheapening, and bastardizing it.

augustlan's avatar

Seriously…what the hell kind of women do you know?

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