Social Question

TheProfoundPorcupine's avatar

Do you carry your real life manners onto the internet?

Asked by TheProfoundPorcupine (2512 points ) January 5th, 2013

This question comes about after answering the one about jumping a queue that was posted the other day as it got me thinking about manners in general.

I think it is interesting how people can change when they are on the internet and become a completely different persona from how they are in real life, so do you have the same manners online as you do offline?

Clearly you cannot hold doors open or help an old lady across a busy road on the internet, but are you the type that can throw the toys out of the pram quite easily online unlike real life or do you still mind your p’s and q’s with emails, chats, message boards? Do you find that you hold grudges more on one than the other? Do you look at your behaviour later on and think, what a dork??

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28 Answers

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Always!

janbb's avatar

I tend to hone my wit a bit more and suffer fools less on the internet than in real life. I try to hold my sarcasm more in abeyance when “real people” are in the room but I am rarely deliberately rude in either venue.

Shippy's avatar

Interesting question. There was a time when people were warned to ‘never put anything in writing’. It’s quite a strange caution now, when you consider how big a foot print we create on the internet. And most of what we say do is stored away forever, never to be undone.

I am exactly the same Dork in real terms as I am on the net. But slightly more aggressive in real life than in cyber space. I’ve yet to fathom that out. But I would like to think I do have manners, I basically treat people the same way they treat me. I never hold grudges since why be a prisoner of another Dork.

rojo's avatar

I like to think so. I do like the ability to ignore those who are irritating or argumentative.

cookieman's avatar

Yes. I make a point of being consistently “me” everywhere I go. I feel it is disingenuous to be otherwise.

TheProfoundPorcupine's avatar

@Shippy I know what you mean about the warning as there was always the part about it being able to be used against you in a court of law and it is something that those trolls should perhaps keep in mind.

This trolling thing also interests me because when different people have been caught here in the UK doing it, and then end up in court, people are amazed at them doing such a thing since they are not like that in real life. If you are not that type of person, then what triggers them to be like that online?

Lightlyseared's avatar

Yes. I am an annoying bastard in real life too.

jca's avatar

I try to be respectful and polite to people in real life as well as on the internet.

This question is interesting because it made me think of somebody I know. On Facebook he is spiritual, inspirational and all those good things. In real life he’s totally crazy, manipulative, angry, and all those bad things. It’s very interesting to see the persona he puts forth on FB and to see what he is really like in real life, in comparison.

flutherother's avatar

I am pretty much the same on the internet as in real life.

Crashsequence2012's avatar

No.

I’m actually quite civilized IRL

Sunny2's avatar

I think so. I’m perhaps a little more free with slang terminology than in my own local community. I’m more reflective about the effect of my words with those I see on a regular basis.

dxs's avatar

I feel smarter on the internet (her on Fluther) because I have the time to think things out before pressing “answer”. In real life, you just speak and hope the words make sense.

Coloma's avatar

What you see and hear, here, is what you would see and hear in real life. I am well mannered, mostly diplomatic, but… I don’t fear or hide from confrontation. I’m pretty damn authentic. :-)

Bellatrix's avatar

Yes. I am mostly very polite but if I feel I need to speak my mind and be pretty direct about it, I will.

Coloma's avatar

@Bellatrix That’s why we get along so well. :-D

tranquilsea's avatar

I bring my manners with me where ever I am. You should see me harangue a group on World of Warcraft into being civil and fair with one another.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Yes. I try to be polite. Then I drink. The next day I apologize.

SABOTEUR's avatar

My avatar is a photo of myself. It serves as a reminder to conduct myself responsibly.

As for holding grudges…what useful purpose would holding unpleasant thoughts about someone serve? Makes about as much sense as carrying feces in my pocket and complaining about the stench.

SABOTEUR's avatar

@Shippy You make a good point. Something you post online may very well come back to bite you in the arse. This reason alone makes me endeavor to avoid saying anything I may be embarrassed by later.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I am pretty much the same. I think my words (like that of other people, as well, this is not specific to me) get misread in terms of the emotion attached to them (as in, sometimes, people think I’m angry and I’m so rarely angry at anything going on on Fluther). In face – to – face interactions, my emotions come through better and so my words are understood better. And so it appears like I have more manners off Fluther but that’s not true.

burntbonez's avatar

I try to carry good manners onto the net. The problem is that without body language and tone of voice, we tend to make ourselves more emphatic in our written words in order to make our points, and that often gets misinterpreted.

I think most people are nice, but they get caught up with the limitations of online writing, and so they appear to be worse than they really are. So I usually cut people a break. Or I try to.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

For the most part, yes. With me, what you see is what you get, no matter where I am or to whom I’m speaking. I’m a bit more sarcastic online, but only a bit.

rooeytoo's avatar

Yep, I try not to deliberately insult or belittle people or hurt their feelings and if I do, I apologiz. It is a shame some in fluther feel themselves to be so superior that they can trample on others with impunity and maintain their right to do so. And even sadder that as long as they stay on the right side of the fine line, fluther condones it

SABOTEUR's avatar

@rooeytoo Fluther is a representation of society in general; you’re bound to meet all kinds of people.

Yet, even rude, belligerent people serve a useful purpose. They allow us to better appreciate other people who behave appropriately in public forums, they offer us an opportunity to practice tolerance and acceptance and…

…they allow us to seriously consider whether participating in such forums is worth sacrificing our peace of mind.

rooeytoo's avatar

@SABOTEUR – yep and you can just feel sorry for them and ignore them!

AngryWhiteMale's avatar

Yes, I think I’m pretty much the same online as off, and I do think manners are paramount, regardless of where one is. However, I’ve noticed a lot of people do not have manners online, which bothers me. Since more and more of our lives are wrapped up in technology and computers, I’m afraid younger generations are losing vital social skills, including manners. If that’s the case, not a good thing, I think.

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