Social Question

Dutchess_III's avatar

What does this say about a person? See Details?

Asked by Dutchess_III (27494 points ) January 18th, 2013

A “friend” on FB constantly posts things about loving yourself, being kind to yourself, trusting yourself, forgiving yourself…I mean, it is non stop. 20 posts a day. She rarely talks about her real life. It’s not annoying, but I find it very curious. What do you think her story might be?

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50 Answers

Aster's avatar

I’d guess she doesn’t love , trust or forgive herself.

Pachy's avatar

It’s called projection. This person is not getting what she needs and so is lecturing others.

Coloma's avatar

Sounds like she is on a personal growth/spiritual jag and when this happens people can sometimes become insufferable in their need to share all their newly discovered little tidbits of enlightenment.
This too shall pass, but maybe not before you de-friend her.
@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Brings up a good point too!

Shippy's avatar

I do that too, because I can’t stand myself.

ragingloli's avatar

Maybe she needs a rough nudge nudge wink wink.

Pachy's avatar

@shippy, I can stand you!

KNOWITALL's avatar

My mom does that all the time too, because she has experienced growth and change in the last decade, since she quit drinking. I tease her about it, but she thinks it’s important to share with others.

Pachy's avatar

I see @KNOWITALL‘s and @Coloma‘s points of view ‘cause I’ve been there. May not be because she’s insecure, but because she’s beginning to feel more secure as she experiences growth, and she just wants to share with others.

diavolobella's avatar

I think sometimes when people post that sort of stuff, they are talking to themselves more than anyone else. Like if they say it enough, they will start forgiving themselves, trusting themselves and being kind to themselves.

ucme's avatar

Maybe she suffers from woodstockitis.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@ucme I KNOW my mom does- lol

ucme's avatar

@KNOWITALL Hippy chicks, gotta love em.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@ucme Even the stinky ones like my auntie, she is totally against any kind of unnatural products, I about died trying to spend a week at her house. Dumpster diving, picking up trash, raging against the machine in general..lol

Coloma's avatar

Ya gotta be a CLASSY hippie, like me. lol
I may not shave my legs every day, but I keep my parts smelling purty.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I am not sure, to be honest.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Coloma Exactly! Although she has been more active than many of the ‘hippies’ I have met. A lot just like the long skits, drugs, sex and incense, but forget the whole ‘making the world a better place’ part…lol

She helped stop McDonalds from using styrophoam (how do you spell that?) for their sandwiches, one of her better known rebellions.

The only bad thing is that she told me I couldn’t say God in her house or in front of her friends, which freaked me out a little bit. But at the time I think she was into the Goddess and group massage. :)

Coloma's avatar

@KNOWITALL She sounds a little more out there than I am. I like my happy brownie hot tub moments and nature a but no dumpster diving, incense or serious drugs, and sex is fast becoming a fleeting memory. lol

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Coloma Yes, she definately is out there, bless her heart, all good intentions, add in a little mental illness and PTSD, Rainbow gatherings, etc… She is one of the people in my life who did tell me over and over that my life choices were mine, and helped me not be afraid to be different, so for that I thank her. :) From afar.

wundayatta's avatar

Personally, I find that kind of thing very annoying because I don’t know where it’s coming from. I need a story. Sayings don’t work for me. They are meaningless without details.

I don’t know if most people don’t need details, like me, or if it’s another aspect of my weirdness. But unless I know the details of a story, I can’t understand the synthesis or the aphorism. So I skip those things, these days. I know I’m too stupid to understand them.

As to why people say they, I assume it’s because they think it’s helpful. Maybe they think it communicates, as well. Obviously they’ve never talked to me, because then they’d know I don’t understand what they are saying. Maybe they’d say it in a different way.

Of course, since I don’t understand, I hate those things. I hate not understanding, and that makes me angry. Why won’t people say things so I can understand them? Why do they have to be so mysterious? Probably I take it too personally, but I really feel they ought to be kinder. Perhaps they don’t know how rude they are being. Or maybe they don’t even know how to tell a story or to explain things. But I feel like most likely it’s really brainy people who don’t care how they make people like me feel.

It’s ironic. A lot of people seem to have the impression that I’m smart, but I’m really not. I don’t get the simplest things that most people seem to find great meaning in.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@wundayatta I feel a little bit like that, but I just move on, I don’t try to figure it out. My mom posted this big ‘forgive me for my bad behavior lately’, and I talked to her later and was like what was that. She said she has to put it out in the universe. She’s odd, but sweet.

wundayatta's avatar

I would never let my Mom get away with that. But then, she would never say that. She’s not big on Facebook. We’re Northern Puritan stock. We do not air our dirty laundry. We bury it. Deep in a dark ravine, miles in the woods, beneath several large, apparently immovable boulders.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@wundayatta Oh? We’re ‘lay it all out on the table and deal with reality’-types.

Actually this weekend she’s ‘laying it all out there’ to one of my family members, should be interesting….lol

wundayatta's avatar

@KNOWITALL Well, if you actually lay things out and get some stuff hammered out, that’s great. I’m all for it.

But my family’s way also works. There’s a lot of shit you can ignore with only the cost of a few years of therapy. It’s been a journey, I’ll say that.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@wundayatta Maybe that’s the problem, hardly anyone goes to ‘talk docs’ here that I know….lol

Sometimes I think over-communication is definately too much.

wundayatta's avatar

Yeah. My experience with talking things through is that you do a lot of talking and get through very little. I find that most things get worked through without talk. We find a way to deal with it. Maybe we don’t deal with hurt feelings, but part of me thinks “so what?” Feelings can be temporary, once we know how to let them go. Maybe people who hold onto them… oh I don’t know. I’ve held onto feelings for decades. It didn’t help me. But I did survive. There was only a few weeks there when I almost didn’t, and in the end, I survived that, too.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@wundayatta I’ve noticed that some people just don’t want to listen. Listening is very under-rated because otherwise you’re just talking into a void.

bookish1's avatar

@Dutchess_III, maybe she is trying to grow, and posting these things as reminders to herself. I used to do that back when I was on Facebook. Now I just write things on sticky notes and tape them to my wall.

“On ne vit qu’une fois.”
“Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost.”
“Cultivate yourself!”

wundayatta's avatar

@bookish1 But why would she make her reminders to herself public? Why did you?

bookish1's avatar

@wundayatta, Facebook is all about putting your private life in public and being ostentatious. IMO. It’s one of the reasons I left. I know that people use it for reasons other than this, but this is a strong tendency among many FB users.

Shippy's avatar

^Agreed so annoying.

Shippy's avatar

@bookish1 I should put photo’s of myself all hunched over, in a dark room, smoking cig’s and dirty plates all over. Plus a photo of the grimy street below seen through my filthy windows

bookish1's avatar

@Shippy : see, if you were doing that, I might not have left FB ;)

Dutchess_III's avatar

It kinda makes me feel bad because I’m happy with myself…I don’t have to force it. Makes me sad for her.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Ha ha! I didn’t realize I had this open in another window, and wondered why it wasn’t getting any more hits than it was…then I found this, with 30-something responses!!

zenvelo's avatar

I have a friend that does that. Glittering swirling rainbow pictures all day long, but never anything truly about her. I hid her posts.

I realized she doesn’t have much to say because she can’t express it And she is not the sharpest spoon in the drawer (she’s not a knife!).

Coloma's avatar

^^^ LOL aaaah…very funny. Does she post angels and unicorns too?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yes and lots of hearts and cuddly puppies and shit.

Coloma's avatar

^haha

hearkat's avatar

I usually change my subscription to those folks – so only their “Important” updates show in my news feed.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t know how to change my settings. Bleh.

Dutchess_III's avatar

BTW…the person in question was a friend of mine (sorta) in HS. She was trying to reconnect with me on FB, but I didn’t know who she was. Her first name is Chris, but I didn’t recognize the last name. I thought it was a guy. She kept PMing me (without telling me who she was) saying how pretty I was, and how she loved my smile. I thought it was a guy stalking me. When I didn’t respond right away (I was in the hospital at the time, actually) she said something like, “I’m not the same person I was in 1975. Won’t you be my friend?” I didn’t respond to the stalker. Then I got a PM that said, “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM????” Strange words from someone who is constantly promoting peace and love. Finally found out who she was and responded to her request.

Coloma's avatar

^^^ She sounds emotionally unstable and has really crappy communication skills. Nutcase if you ask me. ;-) That happened to me once on a dating site some years ago, this guy wrote me and when I hadn’t responded in about 4 hours he sent me another note calling me a stuck up bitch! Uh..delete, freak alert.

Dutchess_III's avatar

She was emotionally unstable in HS too. I just didn’t quite recognize it for what it was.

Coloma's avatar

Look out for any cute little stuffed animals in your mailbox with rainbow cards. haha

wundayatta's avatar

You could always friend a person. Then unfriend them. Then claim it is facebook’s fault and you don’t know how to fix it.

Dutchess_III's avatar

No…she isn’t annoying me or anything….

hearkat's avatar

@Dutchess_III – When you see her post, hover the mouse over her name, then where it says Friends… a drop-down menu should appear and Show in News Feed will be checked. Beneath that, click Settings… and there you can reduce or limit what posts of hers will appear in your news feed.

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