Social Question

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Why do women give you feedback when you are hitting on them?

Asked by Imadethisupwithnoforethought (14269 points ) February 7th, 2013

Often when I am hitting on a woman, and say something particularly charming, they respond with “Nice Move” or “Okay that was good”.

Do you people get hit on so much you feel comfortable giving management feedback to potential suitors?

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29 Answers

bkcunningham's avatar

Are you flirting with me? You can do better than that.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@bkcunningham when I come for you, you’ll know it

diavolobella's avatar

They are actually flattering you. It’s playful. Consider that a successful hit because if they didn’t like what you said they wouldn’t be teasing you, they would shut you down. When I say “Nice move” or something like that, it means I want to hear more and I like it. Just because we openly note you are flirting doesn’t mean we aren’t into it.

bookish1's avatar

I had no idea this happened. I don’t know how straight people flirt in real life. You’ve opened up a whole new world for me.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@bookish1 I am often jealous of the gay straightforwardness

Bellatrix's avatar

They are possibly acknowledging they are aware you are putting the moves on them. That might be good if they are open to moving on from there or bad if they feel you are being a bit smooth and they don’t feel you are genuine. Their tone and body language would tell you whether they are flattered or being contemptuous.

glacial's avatar

^ This.

Pandora's avatar

Would you rather hear, get lost?

bookish1's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought : Yeah, I think about this alot. It seems like for many straight guys, just picking someone up is the holy grail. But that’s the easiest thing for gay guys… It’s finding someone decent and actually staying in a relationship that seems impossible.

ninjacolin's avatar

it means they’re impressed and have nothing better to add besides a direct expression of appreciation. :P

burntbonez's avatar

I interpret that to mean that they are telling you they know what you’re up to and you’re on a short leash, buddy.

My feeling was that if they scored me during the flirting process, then I was not doing well. If I was doing well, they would be so engaged, they would not have a chance to abstract themselves far enough to give me a score on a move.

Also, I don’t use moves, so if they think I’m using a move, I’m pretty much dead. Something is definitely not working.

Fortunately, I don’t think I ever hear this. I do, however, hear it about other guys, and it always makes me uncomfortable, because I hate it when other guys are not subtle. I think that makes it harder for the rest of us.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

<———- feeling old here.

Does anyone still hit on women? I thought these days we just smiled and said “hi”.

serenade's avatar

Great fucking question. Such a weird thing for a guy brain to comprehend.

My current (and newish) gf tells me, ”You know how to talk to girls,” which is kind of hilarious, because she really wouldn’t want me talking to girls the way I talk to her.

wundayatta's avatar

Feedback? That’s one way of looking at it. I think it’s criticism. It’s not a good thing.

serenade's avatar

“Ooh, baby, you are responding so favorably to my advances.” Ridiculous!

glacial's avatar

@wundayatta I wouldn’t say it’s criticism, exactly, but more of a gentle warning. As if to say, “I see that you are making a sales pitch, and that makes me wary. Proceed with caution.”

But if she weren’t interested, she wouldn’t still be talking to you. Assuming her body language and tone don’t contradict that.

Sunny2's avatar

If she says it with a smile, keep talking. If she says it sarcastically, walk away. If she’s really interested, she’ll call you back.

augustlan's avatar

I think I do it to make the person aware that I know they are flirting, not just chatting with me. Whether it’s good or bad depends on whether I’m interested or not. Since I’m a happily married person, I’m never interested these days.

rojo's avatar

Because in most social interactions “fuck off” is not socially acceptable.

Seek's avatar

What else is there to say? It’s not like the average pick up line is intended to start a meaningful conversation. Is purpose is to distract my attention from whatever I’m doing and focus on the idiot that just asked me if I have a mirror in my pocket .

You know what works? Send her a drink, from across the bar. Be paying attention to her when she asks who it’s from. If she is interested, she will come talk to you. And you are at an instant advantage because now she has approached you and It’s her job to start the conversation

ucme's avatar

They’re patronising you, probably because your banter is so cheesy.

tups's avatar

Because it’s often pretty obvious when people are hitting on you. Sometimes it’s so obvious that you’ve got to comment on it. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not, depends on the look on the woman’s face.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@bookish1 do you see how all of the men took that comment as rejection, and all of the women said it could be good or bad, and I should search for more evidence?

chyna's avatar

Is there an eye roll involved when you get the feedback? If so, mosey on. If you get a better sense of body language, then she is saying she may be interested but your pickup line is cheesy, you are on notice, so pick up the conversation.

bkcunningham's avatar

Bottom line in the equation is, are you cute?

bookish1's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought : I did notice that… I would have interpreted it as rejection, too. But then again, I’ve never used a pick-up line nor had one used on me, and I’m still not convinced that people actually use them in earnest… Sometimes it’s hard not to see these social interactions as a learned expression of biological imperatives. Be choosy about who you let fertilize your eggs vs. fertilize as many eggs as possible…

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@bookish1 women don’t say that at the pickup line phase. I have just been letting them talk without arguing. Women say that typically after they ask you a bunch of questions, and you answer one in a way they did not expect.

chyna's avatar

@bkcunningham He is. Very.

Ela's avatar

^^ tis true : )
“Do you people get hit on so much…”
I rarely get hit on. I’m not sure if men find me unattractive, unapproachable or what it is about me but it rarely happens.
So… if I would respond with “Nice Move” or “Okay that was good” it would mean what was said made me smile and I found it cute/charming.

As long as she doesn’t pull out her compact and say “beam me up, Scotty” I’d say you’re doin’ good ; )

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