Social Question

iLindseyMarie's avatar

Do I kiss Jorge? No?

Asked by iLindseyMarie (114 points ) March 19th, 2014 from iPhone

So I’m in this situation;
I like this kid Daemon and I have for the past year and a half, and I think I might be starting to like my other close friend, Jorge. I’m close friends w his gf, Paige, and we can talk about anything (Jorge, Paige and I).
I always talk to Daemon to ask for his advice, and with this situation, he says Jorge is jealous because he wants me to be a “side b——” or rebound for when/if Jorge breaks up with Paige. I asked Jorge what I (in the story, it’s “they (single)”) should do if “I” began liking someone that was in a relationship.
Long story short, he figured out what I was trying to say and he said he wants to kiss me after school today to see if I still like him.
I’m not sure if I should (his gf wouldn’t mind, she isn’t the jealous type and Im sure she knows about his idea) or not because I’ll feel weird knowing that happened between he and I, and I’ll feel guilty for kissing/being kissed by someone in a relationship.
Daemon always says he’ll fight Jorge if he needs to, and I don’t want that to happen. Jorge and I were talking all last night and last period (I’m at school) and said that if I didn’t want that do happen, it would be fine w him, but he wants it to happen..
What do I do? Do you have any help?

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20 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Jorge, again, eh? http://www.fluther.com/164946/if-jorge-and-i-dated-would-we-work/

Have you learned nothing, grasshopper, since October? At least this time he isn’t offering to bite your neck.

“Side bitch” is probalbly not a goal you should strive for.

jca's avatar

Mods should move this question to the “Teen Fluther Crush” section. LOL.

Juels's avatar

Until Jorge is single, you shouldn’t have any involvement that isn’t strictly platonic. He’s taken. Deal with it. You’re putting yourself in the middle of someone else’s relationship. Whether the girlfriend is the jealous type or not, nothing good will come of it.

syz's avatar

Ugh. What is it about all of this drama that you like? You’re a teen, I know, but even as I teen I found all that bullshit annoying.

Go join the track team or something.

And no, don’t kiss Jorge. He’s in a relationship.

Darth_Algar's avatar

Lol, teens.

Coloma's avatar

No comment, it;s all been said. Lordy…this is the trouble with human evolution…our brains don’t mature until age 25 but we can reproduce at 12. lol

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’d give myself a little more respect than ‘side beeyotch’, I’ve seen it with my besty and she always lost out to the real girlfriend when it came to real dates, public affection, etc…

I guess if your goal is to be a booty call in your life instead of a real girlfriend, then go for it, but you deserve better. ;)

*Just so you know, girls without dads in their lives are often the booty call’s, always looking for male approval, even at their own expense. So whether that is you or not, I wouldn’t be another boring statistic and sell myself cheap.

GloPro's avatar

If Paige “wouldn’t mind” then kiss Jorge in front of her and everybody discuss being in open relationships and just dating around. You do NOT want to get a reputation as the “side bitch.” You should value yourself more than that, come on. Self- respect begets respect from others.
Of course Jorge wants to kiss you. He’s a horny teenage boy and would kiss most of the girls you know. By the end if high school he most likely will have.
You do not have to be tied down to one boy. You also don’t have to kiss them all. But you can hang out with whomever you want. That being said, take care of your female friendships. Trust me, Paige minds. Maybe not because she gives a shit about Jorge, but because you kissing her boyfriend shows her the value of your friendship with her.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

Some things never change. Grandma knew the inestimable value of self-respect and a good reputation, and so did Mom. The same remains true.

Why would you possibly want to get involved with Jorge? Is it because he’s so cute? Well, there are tons of cute guys out there, and many of them are good people. Are you hoping to one-up Jorge’s girlfriend and “win”? I assure you that you’ll only lose.

Please respect yourself and demand respect from other people. Refuse to tolerate bad treatment.

gailcalled's avatar

Daemon always says he’ll fight Jorge if he needs to…

Probably a really good idea to find other conflict-resolution solutions. (See Ukraine, Putin, Crimea).

AshLeigh's avatar

Don’t kiss your friends boyfriend.
It doesn’t matter if she’s “not the jealous type”. I’m not the jealous type either, but if some girl was macking on my boyfriend, and I would shank a bitch.
Kiss the other guy. He obviously likes you.

iLindseyMarie's avatar

@AshLeigh- Daemon, too, has a girlfriend, though..

gailcalled's avatar

Let everyone kiss everyone. Then let everyone fight everyone.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@AshLeigh BAHAHAHAHA, love it! Ditto.

Once this girl leaned over my bf (now hubs) and kissed him goodbye, didn’t say a word to me, and I maintained my cool and let her walk away.

Later I asked him about it and told him it wasn’t cool (we hadn’t been dating long) and he said ‘she’s just an old friend’ and I told him that if he treasured his old friends he needed to tell them that wasn’t acceptable. That girl still doesn’t like me to this day, like 12 years later -lol

Juels's avatar

@iLindseyMarie Did you actually expect someone to tell you it was a good idea??? Really? It is time to move on and look for a guy of your own.

AshLeigh's avatar

Okay. Don’t kiss either of them. Being a “side bitch” probably isn’t a very good idea.

@KNOWITALL, what. That’s ridiculous. I thought it was perfectly acceptable to expect your boyfriend not to kiss anyone but you. XD

ucme's avatar

Side bitch sounds more like a dog command, “sit, stay, lay down, side bitch”

KNOWITALL's avatar

@AshLeigh If she hadn’t been ugly, it may have gone bad…lol

Haleth's avatar

It doesn’t seem like Jorge respects you or his girlfriend very much. From your details, it sounds like he’s trying to kiss you without letting her know. You may think “she’d be okay with it,” but there’s one really quick way to know- ASK her. If you feel reluctant to do that, it’s probably because things aren’t on the up and up.

When you told Jorge you liked him, things could have gone a couple different ways. He could have said, “Thanks, I’m flattered, but I have a girlfriend.” Or he could have said, “let me ask my girlfriend if she’s interested in a three-way.” Either of those would have at least been honest. Instead, he decided to go behind her back and set something up with you. That’s not fair to either you or Paige.

If you go along with this, you’re on the same level. The right thing to do would be to 1) not kiss Jorge, and 2) come clean to Paige and apologize for your part in things. That route is harder and a lot less fun, and people will be mad at you. But you can grow and learn from doing the right thing, and you’ll have your integrity.

There are guys out there who are honest and respectful. Jorge isn’t one of them. You don’t have to be like that.

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