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LornaLove's avatar

(Possibly NSFW)What is the strangest thing you have done to your (innocent) partner in bed?

Asked by LornaLove (6164 points ) April 12th, 2014

The other night, my partner slept over. I woke up and felt awfully chilly, so reached down to pull my pajama pants up as my butt was not fully covered and therefore was catching the early spring chills more than any other bodypart. Somehow, in my sleepy state, I stuck my hands down his pants (he had his back to me) and tugged up his pants, really hard, giving him the wedgie of his life. When I say hard, I mean really hard. His waist band must have been near his ears.

He let out a startled gasp! To this day, I have not been allowed to forget. Tonight he is staying over again and I have been warned that any wedgie activities will not be tolerated.

He will no longer be sleeping with his back to me, I fear!

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18 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Your reaching for the wrong part of his pants. Go down the front of them. We like that. Wedgies suck.

filmfann's avatar

Probably the worst was during the first night a girlfriend spent the night, I had a bad case of restless leg syndrome, and kicked the crap out of her. I barely remembered it the next day, but she had the bruises.

Coloma's avatar

I can’t think of anything, but…once, my ex husband had a crazy dream and was acting out in his sleep. He was thrashing around and punching the bed, I freaking hit the deck!
Just rolled off onto the floor until I could wake him up out of his dream stupor.

It was scary, he was a deep sleeper and after that episode I slept warily for quite some time. It never happened again thank god. lol

Cruiser's avatar

Way too focused on the task at hand I did not realize the bed was on fire from a candle that had tumbled off the head board. Close call.

Coloma's avatar

@Cruiser Haha..that happened to me too with an old lover about 8 years ago. The candle I lit on a wicker shelf caught the shelf and curtains on fire! Talk about ” c’mon baby light my fire!”
He was a hero, leapt up and beat it out with one of my hats. haha

Cruiser's avatar

@Coloma ((knuckels)) I poured a beer on the comforter and never missed a beat. Do you still have the hat?? I still have the comforter! ;)

GloPro's avatar

You still have the comforter? Forcing your wife to keep it should have been the answer to the OP. It’s covered in wax and burned… Let it go.

I haven’t done anything except maybe have too much stubble ouch. But I have been on the wrong end of several Dutch ovens.

Coloma's avatar

@Cruiser No, hats gone, the archives of past flings. lol
@GloPro What am I not getting about being on the wrong end of dutch ovens? Clarify? haha

AshLeigh's avatar

He tells me that I lifted my head several inches from the pillow, made the grudge noise, and laid it back down.
I was laughing so hard at your wedgie story!

Symbeline's avatar

I do nothing strange, I just steal all the blankets and pillows. For real though, not making a joke based on the fact that I like soft stuff.

I do suffer from sleep paralysis though, and this guy I was dating before got woken up by me breathing really hard during an episode, and he got real worried, thought I was dying or something haha.

cazzie's avatar

The worst thing is probably that once, a long time ago, I punched out in my sleep and landed one square on him (that was my ex.) . I do tend to pass gas these days, especially if I drink milk or beer, so I’d say that is the biggest threat to my current near and dear. But since he only comes and stays a week every few months, I can forego the beer and milk and keep the threat minimised. I am so incredibly in love with my partner it would devastate me to think I might inadvertently hurt him or make him feel bad.

anniereborn's avatar

I poked my partner in the eye in the middle of a half awake dream state.

ucme's avatar

She woke me up with a firm slap in the chops, an understandable reaction given that i’d just woken her with my erect penis prodding her in the eye.
During a particularly deep sleep my member wanted sucking & evidently got lost on the way :D

wildpotato's avatar

I can’t think of anything I’ve done, but there was this one time I got woken up by my fiance getting out of bed, and he walked slowly around the bed and stood next to my side, facing the wall. Then he opened the drawer of my nightstand. At that point I asked him what he was doing, and he replied in annoyed tone, “Whaa…bathroom!” I realized he was sleepwalking and was about to pee in my nightstand! I was able to redirect him to the real bathroom. I googled the next morning and apparently this is not uncommon, especially if the guy was drinking that night.

The incident explains a puzzling event of years before when we found that our bin of cat food mysteriously became soggy overnight.

ragingloli's avatar

I pulled on both his tails, forcefully.

augustlan's avatar

My ex-husband is a sleep talker/walker, and did some really funny shit. Not so funny, though: he punched me in his sleep twice. The first time, it was so light it didn’t even wake me. It woke him, though, and he told me about it in the morning. The second time was much worse. He woke up mid-swing, realized what was happening and yelled “Oh shit!”. That woke me in a panic, which means I sat straight up…right into the punch. POW, right between the eyes. Only time I’ve ever been punched in the face.

I’m a sleep talker, and routinely laugh and spout nonsense in my sleep. I once had a complete phone conversation with my sister-in-law while I was sleeping (she didn’t realize it), and had no memory of it afterward. She was relaying important information, and it was like it never even happened as far as I was concerned. She forgave me, thank goodness!

Coloma's avatar

@augustlan Were we married to the same guy? haha

Leanne1986's avatar

One night, in the early hours, I (apparently) sat bolt upright and said “will you stop reading and switch that bloody light off”. He wasn’t reading (he doesn’t read books anyway) and the light wasn’t on!

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