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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

If dating someone with OCD what OCD trait would drive you crazy having to deal with?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (21132 points ) 2 months ago

If you found yourself dating a person with OCD, what trait or characteristic would drive you utterly crazy? If they had to, for instance, clean the windshield inside and out, and the same with the back window too before you could pull out to the street, need to click and unclick their seat belt X number of times, need to read every item on the menu before they can think of ordering, or need to check all the locks on the doors X number of times before leaving, etc. what OCD or OCD-like trait would drive you batty?

No, I am not dating anyone with OCD and I do not suffer from OCD, so it is not personal to me

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15 Answers

Mariah's avatar

I think my dad has undiagnosed OCD. I wouldn’t be able to date somebody with it if it manifested the same as it does in my dad; I love the guy but now that I’m out of the house I can’t really stomach being under his roof for more than a couple weeks at a time.

I don’t think I would care if somebody had little rituals that they had to perform in order to feel good – it’s whatever, that’s their business. It’s when people try to insist that I operate under their obsessive conditions that it starts to get to me.

Dad will do things like pour out glasses of water that Mom or I have poured for ourselves if we leave them unattended for two seconds. When questioned he says that having glasses of water sitting out “cools the house and raises the humidity.” By what, like .00001 degree? I can’t stand having my behavior that strictly policed, being criticized for minutiae, or being made to feel like I need to analyze my every action to that extent. It makes me feel very uptight. How does anyone relax if they’re always optimizing their actions to that extreme of a degree? I couldn’t date someone who behaves that way.

(I don’t intend stereotype an entire class of people suffering from this disorder. I know most people who have it probably aren’t like this.)

Coloma's avatar

I hate OCD types, my ex was moderately OCD and he drove me nuts with his control freak issues.
He actually told me once that I, DISPLACED the gravel in the driveway when I drove up it!!!!
WTF! Do you count the pebbles? lol

He hated me re-arranging the furniture, was anal about moving things, a place for everything and everything in it’s place.
He hovered over me trying to teach me the “right” way to build a fire in the fireplace and I was supposed to be able to do it with 3 sticks of kindling and a couple pieces of newspaper. OMG! So glad he is torturing a new wife about 3000 miles away now. hahaha

Coloma's avatar

Disclaimer: No offense intended towards those with clinical issues, just not something I can deal with, at all. I am very non-neurotic and free spirited, not an anal bone in my body, short of someone who is a complete slob.

Mariah's avatar

omg @Coloma…“displaced” the gravel…so glad you got out of that situation!

Coloma's avatar

@Mariah Haha…yes, THAT was an eye opener! 0–0

Winter_Pariah's avatar

@Coloma That sounds more like OCPD…

Coloma's avatar

@Winter_Pariah Maybe, he never had an officaial a diagnosis but I’m pretty sure he had a few personality disorders. haha
Remember “Sleeping with the Enemy” where Julia Roberts would get in trouble if the towels were crooked or the cupboards weren’t stacked “right.”? Yikes!

Paradox25's avatar

@Coloma That would had drove me nuts too. Actually I’m the polar opposite of your ex, where I have everything out of order. Even my own tools are mixed in my tool chest. Sleeping with the Enemy was one of my favorite movies, and I loved the part where she deliberately mixed up the items in her cupboard when she made a new life for herself.

AshLeigh's avatar

Coming from someone who is diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, I would probably symethize with them. Though most people who actually have OCD are not nearly as crazy or annoying as people think. My quirks are dermatillomania and Trichotillomania. I pull out my hair and pick off my skin. My boyfriend puts up with a lot, because most people who have bald patches, missing eyelashes and eyebrows, scars up and down their arms etc. are probably going to be insecure about it.

DipanshiK's avatar

OCDs can be extreme. These disorders overpower people’s thinking and judging ability. People with severe cases of OCDs need to consult therapists and stay on lifelong medications. It’s pretty hard to dealt with the consequences. All they can think of is- washing hands, checking door locks, gas stoves, etc the entire day. And it takes a lot of determination to get it out.
I have OCD but it’s pretty mild.

downtide's avatar

Any kind of cleaning obsession. I am naturally messy and I just couldn’t live with anyone who is such a total opposite to myself.

Coloma's avatar

Also a lot of OCD types are also alcoholics and sex addicts and other unhealthy behaviors driven by their compulsions and anxieties. A lot of misery is spread around with those that suffer from OCD traits.

Dutchess_III's avatar

If they tried to control ME to meet their standards, I’d throw in the towel. If they want to arrange all the canned goods so that the labels face outward, go for it. But do NOT yell at ME for not doing the same thing.

Winter_Pariah's avatar

Noticing a few are mixing up OCPD with OCD. Someone with OCPD are the ones who believe that their “need” for strict order, control and rules are normal. Someone with OCD is typically aware that their obsessions/compulsions are not normal but are compelled to do them anyway which causes themselves distress to varying degrees.

Anyway here’s some symptoms of both:

Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)
* abnormal preoccupation with lists, rules, and minor details
* excessive devotion to work, to the detriment of social and family activities
* miserliness or a lack of generosity
* perfectionism that interferes with task completion, as performance is never good enough
* refusal to throw anything away (pack-rat mentality)
* rigid and inflexible attitude towards morals or ethical code
* unwilling to let others perform tasks, fearing the loss of responsibility
* upset and off-balance when rules or established routines are disrupted.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

*Have repeated thoughts or images about many different things, such as fear of germs, dirt, or intruders; acts of violence; hurting loved ones; sexual acts; conflicts with religious beliefs; or being overly tidy
*Do the same rituals over and over such as washing hands, locking and unlocking doors, counting, keeping unneeded items, or repeating the same steps again and again
*Can’t control the unwanted thoughts and behaviors
*Don’t get pleasure when performing the behaviors or rituals, but get brief relief from the anxiety the thoughts cause
*Spend at least 1 hour a day on the thoughts and rituals, which cause distress and get in the way of daily life.

And the comorbidity rates are pretty low between the two. Looking at about 5% of individuals with OCD having OCPD while even fewer individuals diagnosed with OCPD are also diagnosed with OCD.

Coloma's avatar

^^^ Gawd….misery x 1000. Ugh!

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