Social Question

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Have you made it through life pretty much on your own without help?

Asked by ZEPHYRA (15007 points ) 2 months ago

I mean, has there always been somebody there ( family or relatives ) to help out or have you stood on your own feet and handled lifes downs alone. Have your parents been there with ready financial help and support or did you have to find your way out of the dark with no help?

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20 Answers

marinelife's avatar

No one ever gets bu without help totally.

I moved out of the family home when I was 17 and never went back.

ibstubro's avatar

I divorced my parent at the age of about 22 and never looked back. My great aunt came to my rescue a few years later, but other than that I have been my own responsibility. About 10 years ago I picked up the S/O, and I’m still not sure about that.

Everyone seems so fond of attaching strings, and that makes me want to sever ties.

That said, I’m the poster adult for wasted potential. lol

Pachy's avatar

Made it to this point all by myself.

Except for parents and extended family, teachers (including rabbis), mentors, girlfriends and wives, friends, strangers, bosses and co-workers, medical people—oh yes, and Google.

Seek's avatar

There have been a few times where we wouldn’t have made it without the kindness of friends, whether it was giving us work instead of contracting it out, or letting us crash for a couple of weeks between apartments.

Family is less than useless. They seem to be genuinely pleased at our distress.

Bill1939's avatar

“No man is an island.” Throughout my life, there have always been people present when needed. Sometimes they were friends and sometimes they were strangers until we met. I like to believe that I also, knowingly or not, have mitigated another’s suffering.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Not at all. I’ve been quite independent, but I would have never become the person I am today, the person that can handle the shit that comes down in life with a semblance of stoicism and grace, without the assistance and guidance of other people, starting with the world’s wisest mother

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, yeah, up until I married Rick. I was alone. I know there are people saying that no one can do it completely alone, but I did it as alone as a person can. I also didn’t broadcast my poverty (my family, all thousands of miles away, had no clue) and I didn’t ask for help. Except once. I asked to borrow $100 from a friend in Wichita. She refused because they had to save their money to send her husband to Mexico to help the poor people (true story.) Never asked anyone for anything again.

Seek's avatar

^ Sheesh.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I know! “Christians” can be the damndest people sometimes. I was hit with a medical emergency when I still lived in Wichita. Turned out to be life threatening (ectopic pregnancy.) It was a Saturday night. I asked the neighbors if they could watch my kids while I took myself (in extreme pain) to the ER. They said they would but I had to pick them up by 8:00 the next morning because they had church. I don’t know what the hell they thought I was doing, but I made sure my boyfriend picked them up the next morning by 8. I had surgery that same day. (It was my birthday, too.) I was discharged on Monday and my daycare was open for business on Tuesday.

johnpowell's avatar

My dad was dead at ten and my mom went to prison for a decade when I was 15. So all I really had was my older sister when I was in the somewhat awkward transition to adult. There has been at least four times where I was pretty much homeless in a few days and she has always had a couch to land on while I sorted myself out.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Wow @johnpowell. That’s hard and very sad.

Wait…You were 15 for a decade??

johnpowell's avatar

She got out when I was 25. I only visited her once even though she was 60 minutes away. The worst part is that I have been having a marathon of watching of Oz the last few days.

I feel like total shit for not visiting more or at least writing a single letter or putting some cash on her books.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@johnpowell don’t feel guilty, you had your own demons to chase away, you could not burden your young shoulders with mom’s mistakes too.

Dutchess_III's avatar

What did she go to jail for?

You can’t beat yourself up too bad. You were a kid and I imagine you were pretty resentful.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I think not. I’m hopeless at solving social problems. And often when I attempt to resolve something independently, it goes from bad to worse. I’m impulsive and often overreact, so I need someone to help with my problems, or even tell me I’m misinterpreting everything. Without guidance I would have screwed up a long time ago.

It seems horribly dependent of me, but that’s how things work for me.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

Yes, I am where I am because I don’t give up.

cookieman's avatar

No way. I’ve had varying degrees of support from a menagerie of people over the years.

johnpowell's avatar

@Dutchess_III

She did a decade for a probation violation. The original crime was killing my dad. She only did time served for that. That was around nine months. She was released a few months after her sentencing.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@johnpowell you must have been through a lot and it is admirable that you came out of all this retaining your balance!

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