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kalrbing's avatar

How can I recover from a lack of common sense?

Asked by kalrbing (226 points ) 3 months ago

I have recently realized that I lack a lot of common sense. I have always been extremely smart academically, but I feel like my daily rationale of things doesn’t always make sense to others.
A little back ground knowledge:
*I am a 25 year old middle school math teacher
*i was sheltered and over protected a bit as a child
*people from many different parts of my life (coworkers, family, old classmates, etc) have a tendency to tell me that I’m blonde (it boils my blood)
*I have adult ADD/ADHD
*i feel like no one understands my thinking and they mistake my logic for a lack of it

For instance, I have noticed that I have explained things to people and they’ll say no, it’s actually this…..but we were usually talking about the exact same thing, I just said it how it made sense to me.

I GUESS I’m just posting this to figure out if anyone else has some of these problems or if someone can help me figure out how to fix it.

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11 Answers

LostInParadise's avatar

If someone says you are disagreeing when you are actually in agreement, my first inclination would be to tell you to explain why you feel the way you do. Is this a general communication problem? Could you give a specific example? That may help to clarify things.

snowberry's avatar

One of my daughters and I go around and around with exactly what you describe. Some of our conversations get quite heated!

Patience and generosity go a long way when you’re dealing with people like this (on both sides)! We still struggle.

As a side, before my father died, his hair was pure white. I used to ask him if it was true that blondes had more fun. He always said “YES!”

I suggest that when people tell you you’re blonde (as if that’s a mark of your lack of intelligence), try to come up with a fun retort: “So I’m blonde and you’re not. Are you jealous?” Run with it!

CWMcCall's avatar

Common sense involves finding simple solutions to difficult and complicated problems. You are super smart and probably know the answer to many things but the right answer is not always the best answer and common sense involves the ability to make that distinction. Also, other people may tender other answers you disagree with or know that they are flat out wrong, commons sense will let one know when it is the right time to let that other answer slide.

Seek's avatar

It’s amazing how prevalent anti-blonde sentiment is, isn’t it?

Of course it’s always treated like a joke, but it really comes to a point where you’re just like “Wow. Never heard that before. Did you make that up yourself? You’re quite clever, aren’t you?~~~~~”

I started dyeing my hair red about three years ago. Got rid of that annoyance once and for all.

If you were terribly sheltered, you may not recognize how little of a problem you actually have. So you’re not great at witty banter, and you have a hard time concentrating. The ADD issue is something to take up with your doctor, and the rest is just… deal with it. Make every effort you can to think your response through before opening your mouth. That way you can pre-edit for clarity. My brother has this problem. He talks in ways that make sense to him, but no one else gets it. It’s not a common sense issue – it’s a communication issue.

Bill1939's avatar

When I was in the military, our barracks chief once told me that he has never known anyone with so much intelligence and so little common sense. I did not understand what he meant, and for the most part I still do not. Years later a psychiatrist I knew said I had uncommon sense.

What is called common sense may be the ability to recognize and provide common social cues. This ability is likely learned through social interaction with peers, but acquiring this skill may be limited because of a difference in the way one’s brain is wired.

Even today, people often disagree with what I say and then say exactly the same thing to others who agree with them. It is very frustrating. Something in the manner of my speaking, though not in the words or syntax I am using, elicits an automatic rejection of my point.

Communicating their way is unnatural to us. It is like the difficulty using a language foreign to them when speaking to someone from another country. I doubt that this is something that can be fixed. I believe that we use our intellect in unique ways that make us outliers. At best one must accept their social impediment and focus upon those talents that others can recognize, such as effectively teaching children.

Blondesjon's avatar

I would say fuck everyone else and just be you.

RocketGuy's avatar

I’m kind of like @Bill1939 To get around misunderstandings, I break down my points and arguments into small pieces to make sure the other people can follow. Then listen and work with their response at each stage. It is a lot of work. My wife thinks I’m nuts, but I’m pretty sure she keeps a lot of pieces in her head because I don’t hear her whole train of thought come out of her mouth.

antimatter's avatar

Common sense is a scarce commodity…so f… the world!

Dan_Lyons's avatar

Actually, common sense is quite…common. Which is why they call it common sense. Everyone has it, but not everyone avails themselves of it.
If you explain things to people who just say no, then it is they with the problem and who are lacking in the ability to avail themselves of their common sense.
People denigrating you for being blonde are prejudiced and exhibiting the fact that they are probably on the low end of any IQ tests around.
There is nothing for you to fix unless you want to try to fix the broken people around you.

Bill1939's avatar

@RocketGuy my wife also leaves parts of her intent unspoken. While other seem able to fill in the blanks in another’s statement, I suspect I am not able to do this because I tend to take things too literally.

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