(Sensitive Subject) What motivates you to be religious...what pushes you away from your faith?

I too grew up Catholic. Then I was an alter boy and saw behind the scenes. After that I started learning about history and theology and science. My faith just kept unraveling the more I learned.

I was raised in a somewhat neutral family. I didn’t have a formal education about any religion, but I did hear some preachings about religion like follow some rules and you would be blessed forever. I have always had that doubt of the somewhat unrealistically good things about religion, especially when I see people who live their whole life following the teachings yet still lead a hard life, and bad people go unpunished for so long.

But what ultimately destroyed my faith was an incident at high school. There was a highly delusional classmate that followed a cult that masqueraded as a religious group and tried to convert me. The cult was formed with the belief that the “God” they were following was the one that ruled this universe, and it was their duty to either clean or convert people. They would start with ordinary people, then clean the government, and then the world. Their lifestyle alone disgusted me. They practiced the religion simply by shutting themselves from everyone and praying. When they saw someone in trouble, they laughed and blamed them for not following their religion. They didn’t even give the most simple help to anyone. I lost my faith after some time of interaction with them.

Having never had a faith, nothing pushes me away from it. And, nothing motivates me to be religious; although I sometimes envy them their faith. Many seem to derive comfort from it that I find lacking.

I’ve never really had faith about, from, regarding, my religion. I was raised Jewish and as an atheist.

Things that make me more interested about my religion are heading the positive and accepting things associated with Judaism

What attracts me to religion is when I meet religious people who seem to be at peace, content, and caring in their lives. I say that not about Judaism in particular, but any religion.

What repels me about religion is seeing people full of fear, hate, and who are unhappy or bitter. Also, when a religion encourages people to ignore their own minds and science, it troubles me.

I was raised Catholic by a very Catholic Irish mother (She spent 12 years in an all-girl Catholic school!!). (Dad didn’t go top church.) Believing was a matter of “Do it or else!!” I didn’t have any reason not to, so I did. Until I reached Junior High school and learned of the “Big Bang” theory. How could this be so? So I did some research, changed my POV, and became the “hard” (devout) Atheist I am today. I have never looked back! “Having to” made me believe, the truth pushed me away.

It’s a matter of what I’ve been told compared to what I have seen. I too was reared Roman Catholic. As a teenager, I was reading Burckhardt’s collection of lectures compiled into a book “The Age of Constantine the Great” in which for the first time I came across details on the establishment of Christianity. The book was a revelation and sent me down the road researching why it was that I would burn eternally in hell for missing Mass on Sunday or eating bacon on Friday. Needless to relate I discovered that the entire edifice of Christianity, rituals, rules, all of the mumbo-jumbo was arrived at by squabbling, fractious, fallable men with about as much divine inspiration among them as you’d expect from an egg McMuffin. My faith was just another in the endless string of cults defining human history. Christianity just managed to hit the jackpot when Constantine decided my particular cult would be the tool to assist in unifying the empire.

My parents were Anglican and I went to Sunday School each week, then church and was confirmed. However, I don’t know that I ever believed in God. I don’t recall ever being religious or ever believing in God. I went to Sunday School and church because I was expected to. At about 13 I said I didn’t want to go anymore. I don’t think I ever told my parents I was an atheist.

I was raised as a Catholic, by a father that had gone to a Jesuit high school, and a mother whose family followed a Franciscan path. Along the way I crossed paths with strict Catholic priests and nuns. And so when I went off to college, I lapsed away from the strict killjoys that said we must suffer here on earth to get to Heaven.

When I was 30 and got sober, and worked on a spiritual path, I realized I like the ritual of the Church more than the Doctrine, and that the ritual was a vehicle for my own spiritual journey, but that the strict following of the old church was and is antithetical to the actual fundamentals of Catholicism.

So over the last few years, I have become drawn to a very spiritual connection with some of the overarching beliefs of Catholicism. One huge lesson is that those who only think of religion as a set of rules to be followed are leading others down a wrong path.

God is in us, each of us, an invites us to enjoy His Creation, and feel the connection amongst all things. The Doctrine of “God is Everywhere” means we can find the Divine in everything from the beauty of the clouds to the feeling of rain on one’s cheek, to the stone one finds in the dirt. And the more we appreciate the connection of the Divine throughout the Cosmos, the closer we come to experiencing the Holy within ourselves.

Nothing motivates be to be religious, if I were religious it would be through my ignorance. I hate religion, it is one of the biggest disservice to man.

@Hypocrisy_Central Seriously? I got the impression you were one of the most religious people we have left.

I was raised Roman Catholic and two things pushed me away. One, that my husband wouldn’t be readily accepted because he is agnostic and two (this one is probably the one that bugs me most) is that I still haven’t heard a strong voice in the church for equality for women.
How can I feel included in a faith that doesn’t even allow women to become priest, and continues to see a man and woman union as master and slave, instead as equals to each other and equal in the eyes of God.

The Catholic Church is suppose to follow the new testament. Jesus said we are all of Gods children. Not just some. The old testament preached of woman’s punishment and men, but Jesus was sent to save us from that original sin. Not just the men. God created woman as a companion and helper, not as a slave or pet and gave guardianship of the planet to both man and woman.

I also don’t see giving birth as a punishment. How can the creation of life be a punishment. If anything I think woman are closer to God. They have the distinct pleasure and blessing of knowing what it is like to bring life into this world. I think it gives women and advantage to understanding how God feels about his children. (Not saying that men can’t feel this way but it is a feeling that men can only guess about and yet never really know for sure.)
(Also not saying that every woman can appreciate this feeling or understand how giving life can be a blessing.)

To make a long story short. I feel there is a mindset that still exist in the church that sees woman as secondary. God’s afterthought and earths housemaid to reproduce and obey. If he truly wanted that. He would’ve made us all morons in constant heat.

Raised Catholic and attended Catholic schools from 5th grade through college. I was devout as a teen. In college, I was morbidly depressed and despairing much of the time, and eventually Catholicism just stopped making sense in my life. I felt it was an all-or-nothing proposition, and I couldn’t accept the “all” of it. So junior year of college, I started drifting away from mass.

I spent maybe seven years recovering and really missed the social ritual. I didn’t feel like an atheist suddenly, but it definitely felt like any choice to move into another religion would be completely arbitrary. Toward the end of my recovery period, I started dabbling in Buddhist practice, but that never really got me anywhere, and the feeling I got from practicing was kind of an empty one (and not in a grandly Buddhist way). With one group, I did chanting that was in Korean but translated from Japanese or vice versa, but for us it was all phonetic. Again, it just seemed like a very arbitrary choice.

I remained depressed through adulthood until a few years ago, and I would characterize that disposition partly as a longing for some kind of coherent belief or set of existential answers.

Then a couple of interesting things happened. I stopped taking my thyroid medication and started asking the universe or whomever for healing. I would ask regularly before I went to bed. My health started to go south, and my sister dragged me into urgent care one day, which was a wake-up call for me regarding the nature of my existence. In realizing once and for all (after coddling the thought for so many years) that I wasn’t going to off myself, I somehow realized that: a) I’m not my body and b) something else was driving the bus in my life. It was a huge relief, because I had been carrying the weight of existence for a very long time.

The next event was a consultation with a medium. I asked about my purpose in life, and was given a fairly cryptic response about being some kind of spiritual leader and that I’d been taking false projections of the mind as being real and neglecting the power of one’s soul. (You could liken this to the adage about the mind being a terrible master.)

So that happened, but its significance didn’t come into play until a few months later when I happened upon a guru/sage in the Advaita Vedanta tradition, which is a branch of Hinduism. What struck me is that this person was saying the same things the medium said, and so I started paying attention. I adopted this tradition’s meditation and self-inquiry methods, and suddenly everything in my life, giant chunks of my life, started shifting and aligning. After some effort and progress, I found the greatest sense of peace I’d ever had, and it gave me all the answers to my existential questions. The whole process has been pretty remarkable given where I started.

If I were to boil it down to a lesson, I would say it started with asking earnestly for what I wanted or what my heart wanted. Asking every night (to some vaguely-defined entity) before I went to bed is what got the ball rolling.

Oh, I should add that although I do not physically practice my faith by going to church, it has not reduced my faith in Gods plan for us. I pray and long for the day when I, along with every woman on earth, that we are no longer seen as an after-thought but equal to men in Gods eyes, as I believe we are to him/her.
If the church wants other faiths to elevate their women, than they need to start setting an example themselves. Not in little ways, but rather in a very big way. If they would do that, I would go back in a heart beat.

@rojo Seriously? I got the impression you were one of the most religious people we have left.
That is where the disconnect is, I might be the last of the Believers who have not been browbeaten away, but having Fellowship with God and being religious to many are synonymous, but they are not. Religion teaches you how to follow a faith, cult, church, etc. while faith teaches you how to be closer to God. Wicca is a religion but it has no true ties to a Savior, Redeemer, etc., same with Satanism, religion but no redeemer.

@Hypocrisy_Central Are you or are you not a Christian and do you or do you not believe the Bible is the word of God? Answering yes to these questions makes you religious, in addition to having a “Fellowship with God”.

My religion serves as a constant reminder to not withdraw into the confines of self-centeredness. It reminds me over and over of what’s important: living for others. I need those constant reminders, otherwise I gradually settle back into the tangle of self-serving concerns.

It also scratches a particularly deep itch: the urge to revel in the majesty of this Life business, and to share in that celebration with others.

@Hypocrisy_Central , @LostInParadise That seems to be a “thing” among evangelical Christians these days, to assert that what they do isn’t religion. From what I can see, it’s basically a way of asserting that ,“we’re so different from all those others that we refuse to be put in the same box”.

But—and correct me if I’m mistaken—evangelicals have a creed (set of defining beliefs), a cult (certain essential practices, such as prayer), a community (those recognized as fellow Christians), and a defined code of conduct. According to the widely accepted “four Cs” definition of what defines a “relihgion”, you’ve definitely got yourself a religion there.

Does it bother you so much to be bunkmates with Catholics?

I felt embarrassed from the rituals (I don’t like being paraded around ) and I didn’t like the incence or constant kneeling and standing. I didn’t like the music (I will keep my own soul thank you very much). Also I was turned off by Roman Catholic teachers who didn’t help me when I needed it. School was hell and the teachers never relented in making me feel bad. I’m glad I skipped school. I actually thought about becoming a priest but I would not like the oath of obedience and celibacy and poverty. Even though I am poor, date less and I obey the law. ; )

@talljasperman From what I can see, it’s basically a way of asserting that ,“we’re so different from all those others that we refuse to be put in the same box”.
It is no assertion if how we worship and believe is indeed different.

But—and correct me if I’m mistaken—evangelicals have a creed (set of defining beliefs), a cult (certain essential practices, such as prayer), a community (those recognized as fellow Christians), and a defined code of conduct.
If that creed or set of rules has nothing or little to do with connecting to God, then it is a religious creed, it is easy to fall into if you are not watchful, one can ask the Sadducees and the Pharisees. Unfortunately the modern church as too many rules that are traditions of men and not of God. Following rules won’t send you to hell but it surely will not get you to Heaven. We don’t have a community; we have a family of Believers. If you are not in the family, then surely it is not something one can grasp so they fall back to what they know based off the logic

According to the widely accepted “four Cs” definition of what defines a “relihgion”, you’ve definitely got yourself a religion there.
I guess you would have just a religion if you take away Christ as the Gate, take away sin, and Christ being the propitiation and atonement for said sin.

@Hypocrisy_Central I don’t understand. Can you dumb it down a shade?

@talljasperman He meant to address those comments to me

@Hypocrisy_Central “It is no assertion if how we worship and believe is indeed different.”
It is an assertion (assert: “to state (something) in a strong and definite way”). And how you worship isn’t what determines whether or not it’s a religion. You do, in fact, worship. That’s the “cult” part of the “four Cs” (cult: “a system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object”); the particulars of how you do it don’t put it into some other category.

“If that creed or set of rules has nothing or little to do with connecting to God, then it is a religious creed”
I can’t think of any religion that doesn’t see it’s code of conduct as having something to do with connecting to God, can you? Religions don’t have codes of conduct just for the fun of it; they do (or don’t do) certain things because they feel it brings them more in line with their understanding of God. Just like you do.

“We don’t have a community; we have a family of Believers.”
You do have a community (community: “a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals”). The very fact that you say “we” means you have a community.

“I guess you would have just a religion if you take away Christ as the Gate, take away sin, and Christ being the propitiation and atonement for said sin.”
You’re simply describing the content of your religion’s creed (creed: “a system of Christian or other religious belief; a faith”). Again, what you believe as your creed doesn’t put it into some “non-creed” category.

It seems pretty clear that you’re just redefining accepted terms so that “religion” means “all those other guys who are doing it wrong”.

The heavens are roiled by this, me defending @Hypocrisy_Central

People on this thread are conflating religion )a strict set of rules and beliefs that make one a member, with all its rights and privileges) with spirituality which is a seeking of a connection with the Divine and Higher Power.

@Hypocrisy_Central has stated he is not affiliated with a particular church or religion, but is rather a believer of what he finds to be his own connection with God of his understanding.

Whether @Hypocrisy_Central also uses his viewpoint as a means of his judging opinions and beliefs of others is a separate question.

@zenvelo But @Hypocrisy_Central doesn’t present himself as having an amorphous “spirituallity”; he identifies as a Christian, and he identifies with a group of fellow believers. How strict the code and the creed are of this community is less important than that there are certain beliefs that they hold in common, and that there is some agreement about what behaviors are right and wrong.

Suppose someone were to show up at a gathering of @Hypocrisy_Central‘s community and say, “I am spiritual, but I reject the teachings of Jesus Christ. Instead, I chant mantras and bow to this representation of God”. Do you think that @Hypocrisy_Central‘s community would recognize this person as one of them? I don’t. Why? Because while his Christianity may have an element of spirituality, it’s packaged in a specific structure of creeds and codes and practices. In other words, it’s a religion.

Apparently, what @Hypocrisy_Central believes is The Truth and what everyone else believes is religion.

@thorninmud I can’t think of any religion that doesn’t see it’s code of conduct as having something to do with connecting to God, can you?
Buddhism, Shintoism, Taoism, and Wicca are some that comes to mind. Just because one believes there is a God but doesn’t have faith in God through Christ doesn’t qualify as a personal and direct connection.

You do have a community (community: “a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals”). The very fact that you say “we” means you have a community.
If you had a very large family and they all decided to meet at a specific place at a specific time, are you having a community meeting or a family reunion? Shared or common beliefs can exist in a family.

But @Hypocrisy_Central doesn’t present himself as having an amorphous “spirituallity”; he identifies as a Christian, and he identifies with a group of fellow believers.
Only when I have to put the cookies on a lowers shelf when I do not have time to educate people that simply taking on the moniker of Christian but not living it, is as if I called myself the king of dominoes, there is no royalty attached to the title whatsoever. I more often correct people and say I am a Believer, one who lives it not just give it lip service.

“I am spiritual, but I reject the teachings of Jesus Christ. Instead, I chant mantras and bow to this representation of God”. Do you think that @Hypocrisy_Central‘s community would recognize this person as one of them?
How can we? That would be like a person saying they are a football player but reject playing on the gridiron. It would not be because of the form they choose to worship (so long as it was not idol worship) but the fact he/she is rejecting the foundation the house is built on.

@talljasperman I don’t understand. Can you dumb it down a shade?
You said it, I did not, I’d get banned for saying that
With faith you are justified by Christ, why? Because no one is perfect, and no one is good less God. Since no one is perfect (without sin) no one can stand in the presence of God, He cannot look upon sin, not His nature. The wages of sin is death (spiritual separation from God). If you are not under Grace, Christ atoning for your imperfectness then you are under the Law, the Commandments, which no one can do, and if you break one, you can toss out the million others you have done because they all carry the penalty of death, but since Christ paid for our sins in our place, once you accept He paid it and live for the Kingdom, when God looks upon you He sees the Blood of Christ, His righteousness, not yours, which stinks as a way overused tampon. You can have a religion where you chant something several times a day, pray to the east, dance around large stone structures at the winter solstice etc. but all that is in vain because who is it for? If there is no Creator than the religion is about do this, do not do that, etc. it has no saving grace because there is nothing according to that religion to be saved from. If there is no Creator there is no sin, who are you sinning against? There is no one worthy or have enough authority to set a standard, because whatever standard they set, they have still done something wrong to they are not perfect to set anything. The church is not a building with pews and a cross, and simply going there and doing what ritual is done there but devoid of a God which whom you serve, and worship, because He redeemed you to Himself, is like going to school where there are no books, and no teachers and calling yourself educated because you sat in a classroom for 12 years.

I have a lot of respect for folks like @Hypocrisy_Central. They are strong in their faith and make an honest attempt to live by that faith and the morality that comes from such faith.

That being said, I don’t think the OP intended this to be a ”mine-is-better-than-yours” type of discussion.

In my humble opinion, spirituality is personal. It reflects one’s relationship with the seen and unseen. Religion, on the other hand, is community, communion, if you will, with others who share the same or similar belief.

Religion and spirituality are not necessarily mutually exclusive. I speak as a person who found my own personal spirituality as a young boy, raised in a strict Catholic family.

Long story short, I no longer identity myself with the Catholic Church, although I have great respect for folks who are devout and live their lives honorably.

@Yetanotheruser….yup!

@Hypocrisy_Central I can only conclude that your religion has the paradoxical belief that it isn’t a religion.

When is a religion not a religion?

@Hypocrisy_Central I can’t read all of that. Sorry. Maybe you can edit your future quips to me too be to a sentence or two?

So…guess there’s an argument going on here…but I’m gonna answer this anyway:

What motivated me away from being religious was the “exclusivity” belief that religions have: i.e. there’s only one true religion and anyone who doesn’t believe in it is burning for all eternity. And I don’t believe that. Some things you just don’t or can’t believe. This is one of them. By not believing that, I sort of automatically exclude myself from most of the major religions. This didn’t however motivate me away from believing in some kind of God in general, however. I do think it likely that there is a Creator. But as for believing in one particular religion’s version of it? If I’m going to that, it will necessarily carry the belief that other people believing in a different version of this deity are in fact worshipping the same deity as me, just with their own unique cultural understanding of it.

Another thing that motivated me away from the religion I was raised with was realizing I was homosexual: I didn’t believe that I would be allowed to be this way and stand automatically condemned because of it. And I don’t believe that. But I also believe that homosexuals exist for a reason and there’s no mistake being made by a deity here. So my beliefs miff atheists and theists alike. But I’m not trying to please anyone.

@talljasperman I can’t read all of that. Sorry. Maybe you can edit your future quips to me too be to a sentence or two?
OK, the Cliff notes is, if one concocts a being from their mind of a being, maybe resembling a created being, sometimes even fashioning a token of such that cannot speak, see, hear, walk, etc. then create actions needed to appease said created being, 99.9 times, it is a religion.

And I am guessing that you would say that what you believe falls under the .1 time out of 100 that it is not a religion but is instead the Gospel Truth.

Aren’t they all? ^^^

The specific religion that you follow is a matter of choice and circumstances. You can’t lay out a proof that one is more true than another. There may be one that calls out to you above all the others. That’s fine. Just be willing to acknowledge that there are other people, just as moral and enlightened as you, who are called to different religions or perhaps to none at all.

^ You can’t lay out a proof that one is more true than another. There may be one that calls out to you above all the others.
There is only one truth; anything else has to be false. Just as people point to this and that and believe because of the evidence they see or believe they see, even if they never had the chance to step foot there themselves some evidence leads you to the truth if not the Truth Himself. However, if you do not have the tools to read the evidence then you are left not ever being able to know. The evidence I received might not be able to be put under a microscope but it has manifested itself enough times to not be any fluke.

Just be willing to acknowledge that there are other people, just as moral and enlightened as you, who are called to different religions or perhaps to none at all.
People’s morality notwithstanding, sure, there are people who maybe more moral than I am, but they are in no better position than I was when I was walking in the dark. If they can’t see the Truth, it is because they don’t know how, or choose to stay in the darkness, as nice and moral as they are.

I am faithful. My religion is Islam. I am very upset and really livid by what have been done by the non faithful Muslims to destroy the great, wonderful relation between Allah and the people and among the people themselves. But even though the causes and effects of their bloody actions daily increase and have serious impacts on our sole Home I am still faithful and believe in Allah for one reason that, is He listens to me since I was 12 years when my god was my big brother. It is a remote story, and I am enthusiastic to tell you about it. I remember when I took his precious pen and I lost it, I imitated my parents and prayed. As soon as I had done it, I saw the pen under the table. More than thirty years have passed and still I feel He listens to me and respond in every new minute. I cannot be but a believer in spite of the ugly crimes committed in the name of Muslims ’ god against the Muslims themselves as well as the other people related them the strongest covenants as the Charter of the united nations and the potential social, cultural relationships between me and my Christian friends.

Thanks for sharing @hadeel and welcome to Fluther.

How the congregation makes me feel welcome or not.

I just now came back to this thread and read the comments by @hadeel. You are another example of the type of person I was speaking of in this post.