Could this be considered suggestive?

I would think it is Innocent. But reality can be a nightmare. For example if you push her away she might seek revenge and then your career gets possibly fucked.

But this is what bosses are for. I would report it and get it documented ASAP stating you find it inappropriate and ask for advice from someone above you how to handle it.

At this point you need to cover your ass. You could very easily have the kid make allegations against you if she perceives you as rejecting her and she could say something like you tried to kiss her. Then you are hella fucked. Kids are horrible.

YOU NEED TO DOCUMENT FIRST

I hope other teachers will chime in.

I’m a gay man. I would have loved help from teachers, but that never happened. I had a miserable childhood and endured abuse that caused great problems in my adult life requiring years of therapy to heal.

My gut tells me it’s innocent, but I don’t know. She could be extremely grateful for your help, or it could be more. I don’t know.

Again, I hope some teachers will speak up.

Welcome to Fluther.

I have no doubt that your intentions are honorable and sincere, but I don’t think you’re putting yourself in the child’s position vis-à-vis her view of you. So, yes, it seems like you’re becoming somewhat elevated from a position of “normal” elevation in the Teacher / student relationship into something even higher. Also, given her expression of love for you – regardless of how deeply felt it can be from a juvenile to an unrelated adult who has not campaigned for that kind of affection – to her it will seem like a betrayal of sorts when you dissociate, at least to the degree that you must.

So this is going to be tough for you – and for her! – because to maintain your professional standing and avoid potential charges of favoritism (from the other students) or child abuse (from the child or her parents when you begin the necessary distancing and she feels hurt) you’re going to need to navigate a few minefields.

For those reasons, I think you should be enlisting the aid of other, more experienced (but empathetic!) teachers and guidance counselors. And don’t be alone with this student. Not because you or she will actually cross any lines and do anything inappropriate, but you want to have witnesses who can testify honestly and knowingly to that effect. Because that’s almost bound to happen, at least to some degree.

Probably innocent. She surely does love you for the help you’ve given, and doesn’t want to lose that. Even if she does also has a crush on you (as does happen without calamity or need for intervention of any kind), I would not expect it to become a problem and would not take any action that will make it an issue before it actually becomes one. Hopefully you have good training and resources (e.g. a confidential counselor) for this sort of situation, in any case. For example, I assume you have an idea how to talk to a student about unintentionally inappropriate hugs without causing an upset when it’s likely just a heartfelt over-exuberance? If not, that will be useful in future in any case, and also another valuable needed thing to provide this student.

I think it’s time to downgrade from hugging to simply shaking hands, and giving all the small, but clear signs she’s in the friend zone and she’ll stay there. She’ll get it eventually, I hope.
Better cut it off at the very beginning than waiting for the whole thing to get serious.

@CWOTUS is right, don’t stay alone with her. Consult your colleagues and try to get her some more help from school and the community. You won’t be completely alone in this then.

It reads as innocent to me.

The butt-lift hug without a doubt; my younger cousin could do that and had just enjoyed showing it off as a display of strength. She’s also female, as far as I’m aware is heterosexual and has done it to women including myself and both our mothers.

Her declaration of love merits more concern but it could easily have been in a maternal context (consult the above paragraph for a reminder that the butt-lift hug can occur in a mother/daughter relationship). I’m not getting any romantic suggestion from your recount and I would assess the attention you give her as motherly. You’re clearly making her life at that school a little easier, who wouldn’t be grateful for that?

I recommend reading the book ‘Speak’. It has a similar student regularly eating lunch in a classroom alone with a teacher and getting extra help/advice with the work thing going on that is 100% innocent.

Even a crush can be innocent. My mom had a crush on her high school Spanish teacher and knowing he liked cherries she would bring him cherries from the tree in her (now our) backyard but that was the extent of it.

If, however, you are feeling that she’s crossed a line and/or are no longer comfortable with the relationship consult with your principal to see how he or she believes you should handle it.
If you and your principal decide that you need to push this student away, proceed with extreme delicacy as not to psychologically damage her and/or turn her into a threat to your career or even life. What you’d need to do is gradually and subtly transition her to someone else’s care. Perhaps it’s not greatest reference, but I once saw this being done with a baby baboon to transfer him from one human surrogate mother to another on Animal Planet. It worked well.

In any case, I concur that spending time alone with her needs to stop as does all physical contact except that which allows only hands to touch; I.e a high five. Although you hug all your students not just her, your body language could make a difference to her perspective.
Hugging students, however, is a bit inappropriate on your part, especially on a regular basis. I believe that crosses or at least wobbles on the professional line.

Most things 12 year olds do is innocent but that doesn’t mean they are appropriate or proper. How to behave with others is one of the things children are taught in school. It isn’t a big deal and I wouldn’t involve her parents at this time but I think you have to remind her you are her teacher and that you found it disrespectful to be lifted up off the ground. You must maintain control in your relationship with this pupil and ensure she obeys the ground rules like everyone else. That said you can continue to support her.

This is a great question and kudos to you for your concern and caring. I think it is quite likely she has a crush on you; it’s not uncommon at all. I had a crush on my 7th grade Social Studies teacher (a male) because he paid a lot of attention to me – a shy child. I would hate for you to stop paying her the attention she clearly needs and the concern you are showing for all the students is great. On the other hand, it is right for you to set boundaries and model appropriate behavior. I don’t think I’d stop hugging all the students if you are comfortable with it but you might want to talk to her during a lunch about not picking you up. If you respect your principal, perhaps talk to her about how to set limits without damaging her self-esteem. (I would also check out whether giving those hugs is ok with the school so it doesn’t come back to bite you at some point.) And I would never use the word crush to her – her feelings are very real.

Oh – one more thing. I wouldn’t get too worried about sexual connotations to the crush. While 12 year olds may certainly have sexual feelings, that is not a necessary component of a crush at that age.

I admire your positive attitude to this discriminated student. I think for the most part it is probably an innocent gesture of enthusiasm. However I would not comment on it for now. Maintain a professional and platonic repore with her. If it happens again I would provably discuss it with her that it is not appropriate behaviour to a teacher.

Yeah, document thoroughly and from get assistance from your administrator and other teachers. I like the idea of having another teacher innocently enter the room just before dismissal too. Never eat alone- or be alone- with her again.

And do explain to her that that sort of hug isn’t appropriate. Perhaps a side hug, arm squeeze, high five, etc. instead.

And at this point it’s probably innocent, but the whole thing is fraught with mine fields. Watch your step.