General Question

girlofscience's avatar

Would you rather be a girl in a boy's body or a boy in a girl's body? Why?

Asked by girlofscience (7449 points ) November 17th, 2008

This is referring to how you are born.

Yes, you are permitted to undergo a sex change.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

64 Answers

googlybear's avatar

I would rather just be plain ol’ me. I have some girly traits (or so I’ve been told) because I love to garden, love conversation with friends, and I’m a good empathizer but I really don’t see it that that way.

melly6708's avatar

boy in girl’s body… people tend to accept lesbians much better than gay people

plus guys like it when girls kiss.. for some weird reason

lol

wundayatta's avatar

Boy in a girl’s body. It’s still possible to reproduce after the operation.

basp's avatar

I’ll settle for just being human.

EmpressPixie's avatar

Girl in a boy’s body! The operations for FtM aren’t that great, there’s no way to get a natural erection, there’s often loss of feeling, leading to the option of taking hormones to enlarge your clitoris which has it’s own problems attached. MtF, however, they have the penile inversion thing going on which also has loss of sensation, but more realistically creates the appearance of being a natural lady and if I was feeling it keenly enough to want the surgery, I’d prefer to look the part.

girlofscience's avatar

@googlybear and basp: They are not options. In this question, you’re being forced to choose one of the other.

And googlybear,

Having girly traits does not make you a girl in a guy’s body by any means, and such characteristics should not be used to compare oneself to this situation! Being born in the body of the incorrect gender is a very serious problem for many and should not be taken lightly.

The question is—if you had to be born with this unfortunate issue, which way would you want it to be?

flameboi's avatar

Nope I can’t see myself as a girl, nope, it would be extremely complicated and painful (yet wonderful of course)

dynamicduo's avatar

I would assume this version of myself wanted their body to match the sex they feel best represents themself, so I’d pick Female-in-a-male’s-body due to the ease of sex change operation.

EmpressPixie's avatar

@daloon: depends on the operation you get. Thomas Beatie is reproducing because he’s never fully undergone the operation for his girly bits. He lives in a state where he can get M on his birth certificate without having the full operation.

cookieman's avatar

I’m not sure.

But I often feel like a Basset Hound in a boy’s body.

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

As someone who has gender issues of their own, trying to answer this question is tough. I don’t consider myself male or female, though physically I am female, but if I had to choose a gender I would want to be a boy. But the question is, if I had to, would I pick being mentally a boy or being physically a boy?
I guess, as mostly everyone has pointed out, if I were a male in a females body, a sex-change is a very likely option. That way I could have both. And if a sex-change wasnt an option, I think I would still pick this one. What someone is on the inside is far more important than what they are on the outside. Plus, like melly6708 pointed out, socially it would be easier to live.

GAMBIT's avatar

I wouldn’t do myself bodily harm.

googlybear's avatar

I didn’t realize the question was meant to be a gender identity disorder type of thing solely so I will follow the rules of the game and pick: A boy in a girl’s body….

AstroChuck's avatar

A boy in a girl’s body! What boy wouldn’t want that? Fun, fun, fun!

asmonet's avatar

Boy in a girl’s body, I know two transgendered people, one is MTF and one is FTM. The MTF individual was far more easily accepted than the FTM, and passes a bit better as well. And she just got her vaginoplasty. So we’re kinda super excited for her. :D

cwilbur's avatar

I’m already a boy in a boy’s body, so I think boy in a girl’s body would be less traumatic to my sense of self.

saranwrapper's avatar

I’d rather be a girl in a boys body. I figure i’d like to try something new. But I’d only do it if I was a really attractive man. I’m very vain.

generalspecific's avatar

Girl in boys body for sureee. Boys get to wear such comfy clothes, aren’t expected to wear make-up, and just have it a lot easier in general, I think. Plus, girls are pretty. I could be a lesbian. haha.
But really, I so rather be a guy. Being a girl is lousy.

dynamicduo's avatar

@generalspecific – I feel the same way about make-up and girly things in general. So I simply don’t play that game. I remember putting on lipstick once… I totally didn’t get the appeal at all. Life has worked out great for me so far by writing my own rules. Yeah my legs sometimes look like two wookies, and that’s fine with me. Heck I’ve even managed to reduce the truly awful aspect of womanhood, the period, to a thrice-yearly thing thanks to continuous birth control pills.

Come to think of it, maybe I’m already a bit of a boy in a girl’s body. Though I still don’t get the appeal of football.

Comedian's avatar

I’m a girl, but I’ve always wanted to have enough testosturone (I can NOT spell lol) to grow a goatee like Tim Curry’s and Keith Allen’s. But like in a society where it isn’t considered weird lol.

MacBean's avatar

A boy in a girl’s body! What boy wouldn’t want that? Fun, fun, fun!

This one doesn’t want it. It’s not fun because the body isn’t who you are and it feels so wrong that it’s hard to be anything but miserable when you’re made aware of it.

I really wouldn’t want to be a girl in a boy’s body, either, but I think between the two choices that’s what I’d go for. If there was money for transition surgeries, I’d prefer going through the MTF ones. And if there wasn’t, at least I wouldn’t have to put up with society’s rampant everyday misogyny.

Trance24's avatar

Im pretty sure the underlying reason of why boys want to be girls is so they have BOOBS. Yea I said it, don’t deny it. Oh and there is also the perks of multi orgasms.

The only reason I would want to be a girl in a boys body is the perks of being able to pee virtually anywhere, and I would like to see what all the fuss is about concerning a blowjob.

asmonet's avatar

Boys can have multiple orgasms too, you’re not doing it right.

augustlan's avatar

I’d rather be a girl in a guy’s body. They don’t have to shave anything if they don’t want to. Never have to wear make-up, bras, pantyhose or heels (but could if they wanted to). Never have a period with it’s attendant cramps and mood swings. Can pee standing up, and anywhere. And…achieving arousal and orgasm is a piece of cake.

Even if I were to have the surgery, I’d rather have the look of a female body, without all the reality of it’s nuisances.

augustlan's avatar

@asmonet…depends how old they are!

asmonet's avatar

@augustlan: Well, in that case, their doctor isn’t doing something right.

spiritgirl's avatar

I would rather be a boy in a girl’s body. There is a lot less prejudice against tombodys, in my opinion.

dynamicduo's avatar

That’s a good point spiritgirl.

wundayatta's avatar

@asmonet: just what, exactly, are you doing with the old folks drug, at your age???

adri027's avatar

umm..I would want to be a girl in a boys body so I could pee standing up, jack off, and sex.

stevenb's avatar

Boy in girls body. Mostly because of the Boobs, but because of the easier acceptance of lesbians also, but mostly because of the boobies!

augustlan's avatar

We all know stevenb likes the boobies!

blastfamy's avatar

@sevenb, this brings a whole new meaning to the term, chesticles

Trance24's avatar

@asmonet Guys have to recharge their batteries half the time after one orgasm, girls on the other hand we just keep going and going…well you get the point

stevenb's avatar

I guess my secret is out. ;)

asmonet's avatar

@daloon: well, thanks to your previous behaviors, that’s really not information you’re privy to now is it?

@trance: That really depends on the boy. :-p

XCNuse's avatar

I would saw it would be nice to be the opposite sex for a day or so just to see what it’s like but i’m pretty sure i’d be a guy rather than .. not lol esp. for a lifetime that’s for sure! i don’t think i could stand those times of the months or hell.. having another human.. in me.. eeesh :S that’s just freakin weird

tb1570's avatar

can we boil ur question down to “would u rather be a gay man or a lesbian?”

cwilbur's avatar

No, because a gay man is not a woman in a man’s body, and a lesbian is not a man in a woman’s body.

girlofscience's avatar

@tb1570: I’m not sure there’s ever been anything more offensively incorrect said on Fluther. (And I’ve said some pretty damn offensive things myself.)

I hope you lose interest here quickly. Fluther tends to be most rewarding to those who enjoy knowledge and have interesting backgrounds to contribute. Clearly, you fit neither of those categories, so I’m sure you won’t be sticking around long.

stevenb's avatar

^ zing! ;)

MacBean's avatar

GA to gos. I wholeheartedly second that reply.

tb1570's avatar

i really, realy don’t understand. really. i certainly meant no offense, and to me that does seem to be the essence of the OP’s question, if we simply look at a gay man as a woman in a man’s body and a lesbian as vice-versa, which is how several of my gay freinds have described themselves. i really meant no offense, and to be honest i am completely flabberghasted by the hostility of ur response. so, can u all please explain to me what nerve i hit. i do not feel the need to defend myself or explain myself, but suffice it to say, i am not the kind of person u’ve obviously mistaken me for.

tb1570's avatar

but clearly i have hit a nerve, b/c u, GOS, struck back with a personal attack intentionally designed to hurt. so obviuosly u have been personally hurt somehow by my remarks. i can only re-iterate that that was not my intention what-so-ever. but surely u must also realize that there is nothing constructive about leveling personal attacks designed soley to hurt someone in the discourse of a mature discussion. nothing good can come from it.

tb1570's avatar

GOS, i see that u r the OP. so please, enlighten me.

tb1570's avatar

one more thing, GOS, then i’ll wait for ur response. after reading ur original response, i e-mailed 3 of my gay friends (one a lip-stick lesbian and the other two gay men, who are married to each other and whose wedding i attended) to get their ideas as to why my comments might have offended u so much and why u responded w/ such hostility. none of them found my comment offensive, although my gay female friend said my question may have come across as a little simplistic and therefore insulting. but, one of my other friends even suggested that u must be a straight girl or, in his words, “some guerilla dyke” b/c most gay people “would not even be bothered” by such a statement. my question was not meant to be insluting. i was just trying to get to the core of ur question b/c it seemed as though the thread had gone off on a couple tangents, so i wanted to be sure i understood clearly b4 i responded, that’s all. obviously i mis-understood. so please, tell me what u were really trying to get at. thank you.

girlofscience's avatar

@tb1570: I don’t have time to write out a legitimate response because I have an intense exam at 9am today, and I need to review.

You did not personally offend me. I am neither a girl in a boy’s body nor a boy in a girl’s body. I am a girl in a girl’s body. I am a straight girl.

I found your comments offensive because to view a gay man as a “woman” is insulting. A gay man is a man. He just happens to be attracted to other men. He’s not a woman.

tb1570's avatar

and u think i implied that a gay man is a woman? obviously not! and to disagree w/ someone’s remarks is one thing, but to take them personally, get offended and make personal attacks in response is another, and says more about u than it does about me. good luck on ur exam.

EmpressPixie's avatar

tb1570: What you said was that this question boiled down to “would you rather be a gay man or a lesbian?” But the question is actually about being transgender. Sexual attraction and gender identity, while related, are not the same thing. Sexual attraction (homo-,hetero-, or bisexual) plays a part in our gender identity, but is not a replacement for it. Gender identity is what gender (man or woman) you feel you are.

A transgender person may be a man in a woman’s body or a woman in a man’s body. Their trials and tribulations are different from those of homosexuals because they may be straight. I have a TG friend who is a lesbian. This is to say—a woman trapped in a man’s body, attracted to other women. The trials of being transgender are not limited to sexuality alone. Many of them of disgusted with their own (“wrong”) bodies or wish to join the other gender. They don’t just want the sexuality of the other gender but everything else that comes with being male or female. When you think of what makes you a man or a woman, you aren’t just thinking in terms of genitals. There is a whole set of psychology and abilities that comes with your gender.

So what GoS is really getting at is what version of transgender you would prefer (male to female or female to male). It’s different because in addition to sexuality, you also have to consider the ability to have a sex change (it is easier to go, for example, from male to female) and the psychological difficulties you may encounter from being the “wrong” gender. Regardless, transgender is socially unacceptable in a way that being homosexual has more effectively fought. Being gay doesn’t really turn heads anymore, being transgender still does.

Because the question is asking about being transgender, and you made the comparison that it was really asking about being gay or lesbian, you really were saying (though you obviously didn’t mean to) that being transgender and gay are the same thing. They are vastly different. It was, I’ll be honest, an incredibly offensive remark, though apparently said out of ignorance and not malice.

tb1570's avatar

EmpressPixie, thank u for the detailed response. i’ll concur that my response was ignorant, but only of the true meaning of GOS’ question, and nothing more. and i am absolutely 100% sure that i am not the only one who would/did make such a mistake. and i completely agree w/ ur statement “When you think of what makes you a man or a woman, you aren’t just thinking in terms of genitals. There is a whole set of psychology and abilities that comes with your gender.” this actually what i was trying to get at why my question, b/c modern science is beginning to discover that the wiring of many gay persons, and tgs, brains are different—not bad, wrong or inequal, but different than the majority of heterosexuals. in fact, it is often like there is a female brain in a males body, or vice-versa. i think this is an unfortunate result of the PC movement that somehow we are not able to appreciate, let alone express, that we are not all the same. but i’m getting off topic here. my original question was simply trying to ascertain whether GOS was referring to gays or not. and something that shoulod be noted is that outside the small circle of the PC fanatics, many, if not most people would see little difference between gay and transgender. of course this does not mean their experiences are indentical, but u also must accept that many people in society would/do view gays as people of one gender trapped in a body of the other gender. and certainly there are many blurry lines on this front, don’t u think? there is no black and white in an issue as complex as this one.
but i again asked my friend about this, and he stated, and i quote “oh, hell no! i love my c*ck and would never want to chop it off, and i’d never want to bleed every month!” so, yes, of course they are not they same, but i think we should at least admit that it’s not so amazing that someone might want a little clarification on the issue. and like i said, i knew immediately from her response that she was probably a straight girl, probably still in university, waving the PC banner out of some perceived wrong done to the gay community, a wrong that most in the gay community would not even bat an eyelash at, let alone react with such hostility to. and i still maintain that GOS’ response was un-called for. i mean, to tell someone “i don’t like what u said, i think u are stupid and i hope u go away and never come back” (this is a paraphrase of GOS’ response)—where’s the good in that? and that is something much more like rush limbaugh would say rather than some “enlightened,” tolerant indidvidual. GOS may think she was doing good sticking up for this mis-understood and under-represented segemnt of society, but like i said, 99% of those very people would never rspond in the manner in which she did. never is it good to respond out of anger w/ a deliberate intention to do harm to another, and i think that is something all people, gay, tg or straight can agree on.

cwilbur's avatar

@tb1570: I’m neither a woman nor still in college. I found your original “clarification” ignorant and uninformed, which is why I responded. I find your subsequent postings rambling and incoherent, and I’m not sure why we should accept your alleged poll of gay men and lesbians as any kind of a defense for your ignorance.

If you don’t want people to think you’re an idiot, don’t write idiotic things. And for @#$%‘s sake, when you found you have written an idiotic thing in a way you can’t retract, apologize and shut up—attempting to defend your original idiotic statement as somehow justified (“clarification”) doesn’t help.

tb1570's avatar

name calling and telling people to shut up. nice.
cliques are a funny thing.

EmpressPixie's avatar

@tb1570: There’s actually a lot of backlash in the GLB community against the T. The problem being that gay-lesbian-bisexual are sexual orientations whereas transgender is not one. So the Ts tend to get left out of the GLBT. Plus, they dislike being lumped in as an “alternate sexuality” because so many of them are “straight”. Which is to say they are attracted to the gender opposite of the one they feel they are.

Beyond that being TG isn’t that well understood. Like, for the most part, we all experience sexuality. You like ladies or gentlemen or both (and for a small percentage, neither but ignoring them for now). As a man, you may not like a man but you know what it is like to like a lady, so you can kind of imagine it. However, the experience of feeling that your entire body is wrong is much harder to relate to.

I can assure you, as the president of the GLBT activism club in college, that any activist would find your original question upsetting/insulting as well as many who are gay, lesbian, or tg. Your friends just have a thicker skin OR may allow you some latitude for being a friend. It’s the kind of thing that, to be honest, is often said out of deliberate ignorance. Which is to say the questioner is maliciously trying to incite the person with whom they are conversing. Now, 4 years of being a GLBT activist on a conservative campus has ingrained in me the response to educate, but without four years of practice my response would also be, “wow, that was offensive, that person’s a jackass”. Of course, part of that is also the tendency to think that others are as educated as you are about the issue at hand.

As is, you are correct, many of the responses you got were neither polite or educational. I would hope my fellow jellies will be more polite in the future, but like everyone we’re prone to outbursts of emotion. I am guilty of it elsewhere on this site.

MacBean's avatar

@EmpressPixie Thanks for that answer. I am part of the “T” but I refrained from leaving a detailed reply because I wanted to say basically what you said, only the outbursts of emotion that you mentioned were getting in the way and I just couldn’t manage civility.

90s_kid's avatar

Well, I would want to be just me, a boy in a boy’s body. But saying that I had no choice, I would pick boy in a girl’s body because a girl in a boy’s body can get pretty ugly with kids in my class…

tb1570's avatar

@EmpressPixie Thank you very much for taking the time to write your answer and explain things to me in more detail. I was more than a little taken aback by some of the hostile responses b/c I actually view myself as a very liberal, open-minded person, and I often defend the right for us all to choose any lifestyle we want, so long as we don’t do damage to others; and that includes defending the “right” to be gay. Living in China and attempting to discuss these things or educate about them can be very trying in a society where homosexuality is still not really accepeted, understood or even really talked about. When I tell my students and/or friends that I have gay friends and that I even attended my gay friends’ wedding, people freak out! (lesbianism is quite accepted over here, even considered a little “normal”...) But I obviously do not know everything, and perhaps am a little ignorant of many of the issues you mentioned, especially the rifts w/in the gay, lesbian & TG communities in regards to these issues, so your explanation has been enlightening. Thanks again.

Thammuz's avatar

If you’re allowd to have a sex change then definitively boy in a girl’s body, afterall with hormones and plastic surgery the transformation can be complete. Then again i doubt i’d want to have a sex change, vaginas are much more fun than penises.
(yes, i’m the only man suffering of “vagina envy”. What can i say? three different kinds of orgasm is an intriguing idea)

girlofscience's avatar

@Thammuz: Three different kinds? Which one am I missing?

Thammuz's avatar

@girlofscience clitoral, vaginal, g-spot (and, come to think of it, anal, but that’s for both male and female)

girlofscience's avatar

@Thammuz: What is the difference between vaginal and g-spot?

Thammuz's avatar

@girlofscience as far as my experience goes a g-spot orgasm involves the g-spot, and it’s akin to a male orgasm, while a vaginal orgasm consists of spasms in the vaginal muscles (generally caused by fisting or other big insertions). Then again i’m a man so i might be misinformed.
All i know is that after seeing some of Cytherea‘s videos i wish for reincarnation to be true and to reincarnate into a female body with my present mindset. I WOULD NEVER LEAVE THE FUCKING HOUSE.

justus2's avatar

definately a girl in a boys body, I wouldnt want the brain of a boy. lol

downtide's avatar

Well, I am a boy in a girl’s body, (or more accurately, a middle aged man in a middle aged woman’s body) and I would rather be this way round. It’s much more socially acceptable to be seen as a masculine female than a feminine male, and I am “read” by others as male a lot of the time anyway (blessed with a very androgynous kind of body). Some of the surgery is vile, but the vile parts are mostly optional, and that’s not so much the case for girls stuck with boys’ bodies. So I think we female-to-male transgendered people get a much easier deal than the male-to-female ones.

Lorenita's avatar

Neither.. It must be terrible being on a body that doesn’t match my brain

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