General Question

kevbo's avatar

Do you stalk your ex on FB/MySpace?

Asked by kevbo (24160 points ) November 17th, 2008

I just found my ex’s page (and her kids’ pages), and I’m getting perverse thrill from the voyeurism. I’m not even carrying a torch for her either, but I put up with her screamfest without fighting back, so I suppose there was that lack of closure for me. Anyway, does it get boring after awhile or what can I expect on this little journey?

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33 Answers

La_chica_gomela's avatar

i used to stalk my most recent ex on fb, but then i got really angry with him (long story) and defriended him to convey my feelings (ie – we are no longer friends in any way), so unfortunately i can’t anymore, except through our mutual friends and his current girlfriend’s pages (i like her, but i feel sorry for her. she’s so naive, just like i was) anyway, i prefer not to see anything about the douchebag loser anymore, even though our mutual friends. i wish he would fall off the planet.

i do still fb stalk some of my less recent exes that i am still friendly with. not all the time, but every now and then i’ll see a photo album or status update in my feed, and then i’ll end up perusing all their albums or recent activity or whatever. i even chat with a couple, so i guess it’s not really stalking, it’s more like “staying updated”. that’s what i tell myself anyway, right? lol.

no, it doesn’t get old for me.

TaoSan's avatar

wow kevbo, that sounds really creepy, lol.

My attitude: Let bygones be bygones….. Time can be the best venue for finding closure.

babygalll's avatar

Move on.. I am sure you have much better things to do.

TaoSan's avatar

just imagine how you feel if she starts ranting about her super ugly ex that never did anything right, and was a douche, and so on and so forth…..brrr

kevbo's avatar

I doubt it she’d be doing that. She’s with someone else now (which I’m glad for), so I’m sure she’s just happy to be getting it again. But, I get where you’re coming from.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Stalking sounds so mercenary…I prefer “snoop.” I do think that if you do this, you have to realize the truth in the saying that “evesdroppers never hear good of themselves” and be prepared for that eventuality.

Of course, everyone realizes that if you apply for a job, employers will google you, and see what your internet footprint looks like, and therefore you should never post anything that could be tracked back to your real name or e-mail address that would make you look bad in the eyes of a future employer.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

alfreda, you bring up a good point.
now that you mention it, it’s funny that we’re even calling it stalking or snooping. i mean, the person posted the info about themself for anyone in the world to see. it’s not like we’re peeking over their fence of anything…

wait but, i don’t understand what we should be prepared for?

ooooh, like for example, an ex might write a fb note about how i was too demanding or something, and then since i’m snoop/stalk/staying updated, then i’ll read it and be upset?

bythebay's avatar

@ La chica: Could you clarify how you feel about your ex, geez girl – I hope I’m never on your bad side!!

TaoSan's avatar

ALL HAIL LA_CHICA!!!!!
ALL HAIL LA_CHICA!!!!!
ALL HAIL LA_CHICA!!!!!

Here, have my cookies :)

La_chica_gomela's avatar

aw thanks! i love cookies! you’re a sweetheart!

TaoSan's avatar

blink blink GRIN

amandaafoote's avatar

I don’t think it’s technically ‘stalking’ just curiosity what they’re up to, it’d be stalking if you went through their comments with other people though, haha

kevbo's avatar

I would say it’s snooping, though, because I’m guessing she hasn’t tinkered with her privacy settings, and if she knew I was looking (especially w/r/t her kids) I know she’d block me or whatever. Also, I really have no business keeping tabs on her, since we don’t communicate and haven’t for quite some time.

In that case, amanda, yeah, I’m stalking.

TaoSan's avatar

hum, a bit harsh maybe? I mean if someone struts their stuff online without wondering how to lock someone out its really just snooping IMHO

La_chica_gomela's avatar

bythebay, i know, right? this is the only place i feel like it’s acceptable for me to say what i really think though. in the real world, i have to “be the bigger person” and shit.

kevbo, aw, this thread has prompted me to go look at good-lookin paul’s fb page. i hadn’t realized he graduated six months ago. one of his favorite shows is sports center…now i remember why we didn’t go together. lol.

bythebay's avatar

La chica toss it out there and be yourself. It’s gets very lonely on the high road all the time. I appreciate your candor.

kevbo's avatar

la chica, I really do appreciate your candor on this one. I feel the same way many times.

kevbo's avatar

Shizzle! She messaged me today. (And I recently set everything to friends only.)

I wonder if she’s been doing the stalking.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

And you said, “Why, I was just thinking about you!”

La_chica_gomela's avatar

or she reads fluther?

kevbo's avatar

I doubt it, since she’s such a dumb, ugly, douchebag (hee hee!)

I mean because she’s profoundly deficient when it comes to intellectual curiousity.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

hahahahahahahaha! GA for making me laugh out loud!

A_Beaverhausen's avatar

i wouldnt call it stalking, more along the lines of keeping track of them :)

angelshine's avatar

That is creepy. My ex checks my private myspace page at least 5 times a day and it worries me. Why stalk a page when you can’t see anything on it? That is a sign of mental or emotional unstability. If it’s over, then it’s over. There is no need to check up on them or keep track of them.

kevbo's avatar

How can you tell?

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Angelshine, can you take him off your friend list and change your settings? Or, take down the page if it really bothers you.

angelshine's avatar

He’s already off of my friends list and my page has been private for a long time. It’s not a huge deal because he can’t see anything on the page. Kevbo—I can tell because there are hidden trackers you can use to track who views your page.

bythebay's avatar

Angel: What and where are these hidden trackers, I’d like to check them out.

tuesday242's avatar

i think its like emotional bungy jumping…
you never know what you might find or how it might make you feel, its addictive for a time, but it’ll pass… i speak from experience. i now know that it can really hurt or at least be really uncomfortable so i dont do it any more.
i found my tsoon to be ex husband on a dating site , looking for intimate relationships…..that’ll teach me for looking !!

liliesndaisies's avatar

I have deleted them at fb so I won’t have to see major surprises when i open their page.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Well… when I was under the impression I still was together with my last SO and they were busy job hopping before we could re unite then I’d check their Myspace to see what posts they had up, what was happening where they were at. Behold my broken heart when I discovered they were posting updates about how thrilled they were to have found their “match” (the other one, not me) and blah, blah, blah. After that I decided I hated Myspace and deleted my account, did what I could not to be googled and fought long and hard to join facebook because of the horrible pull of voyeurism and the consequent poo-on-the-face that goes with it. I still torture myself from time to time, I don’t know why other than pride. I don’t want the man anymore but I am still angry at how I was treated.

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