General Question

nebule's avatar

Why do you think God made (or whoever, whatever...) men so obsesssed with sex...

Asked by nebule (16159 points ) January 18th, 2009

I’d love to hear from men who aren’t sexually obsessed too by the way but generally… men love sex more than even the most eager of women i know… we were obviously made this way, it hasn’t changed in millenia as far as i am aware…so WHY???

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59 Answers

El_Cadejo's avatar

Procreation.

iwamoto's avatar

Survival of the species… just make ‘em fuck enough so they’ll survive

KrystaElyse's avatar

I’m not a guy, but I don’t think (whoever or whatever you believe in) made men “obsessed” with sex, I think it’s a product both of our innate human nature and of our individual experience and environment or society.

kfingerman's avatar

Men have an evolutionary impetus to have as much sex as possible with as many women as they can. Women, on the other hand, have an evolutionary impetus to have sex with only the most fit partner they can find, and only really to do so as much as it takes to get pregnant.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I don’t think men are more obsessed with sex than women. I think it just that men are expected to be obsessed with sex and women are not. I know a number of women who could match even the most insatiable of men urge for urge.

nebule's avatar

hmmmm… we haven’t really evolved at all have we… i mean… overpopulation?

nocountry2's avatar

What about stuff like rape? I seriously doubt that even if women physically were able to rape they would. It just wouldn’t occur to them, or be sexually interesting.

chelseababyy's avatar

Someone had to be. And hey, girls can be too. I mean, look at me.

asmonet's avatar

@nocountry2: You’re right, there are comparatively very, very, few cases of women raping men. And they usually involve drugging the man beforehand and having a goal in mind. Not necessarily the domination associated with men raping women.

susanc's avatar

(Warning: party line.)

Rape isn’t about sex. Men who rape can get sex in other ways; they rape because it makes them feel powerful. Ironically, rape proves they’re not.

Plenty of frustrated women exert physical hardship on children because they can. Same motivation, same meaning.

Women don’t rape because penetration has been culturally assigned to males. Children and other weaker persons can be raped with objects, but women who need to hurt children usually just hit them.

So much for sexuality.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

I think the obvious flaw in this question is the assumption that men love to have sex more than women. I really don’t think thats true. I think we both like to have sex about as much as the other. The big difference is, guys are not ashamed to admit it, and women are often not overly enthusiastic to admit it because with our double standard that makes the guys a playa and the women a whore. Another thing, guys are typically the ones who are aggressive in meeting new women and asking them out on dates or what ever, while women typically are not the ones who persue this aggressively. So once again you have the appearance that men are motivated by sex where really, both are motivated by sex just not motivated to act the same.

nebule's avatar

@LKidKyle1985 I think you are wrong wrong wrong…. men are more obsessed with sex than women… generally as indicated in the title question.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

lol well I think your assumption is wrong. I actually think its kind of offensive to say men are more obssesed with sex since thats just a stereo type. That would be like me asking, why do women enjoy being secretaries more? I really don’t think they do enjoy being secretaries more, but for some social reasons they end up being secretaries more often than guys do.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

and generally speaking isn’t gonna cut it sista lol that just = stereo type in my mind.

shadling21's avatar

In the beginning, there were three types of humans: female, male, and hermaphrodite. They each had two sets of everything – two noses, two sets of eyes, two sets of limbs, etc. The gods cut them in half because they were striving to become better than the gods. This was the creation of love: these half-beings healed up in body, but were doomed to forever wander the earth in search of their other half. Men and women alike try to find oneness with their partner through sex, so they obsess about it for a large part of their lives.

tennesseejac's avatar

I don’t think men were made this way for any one reason, but we were given a penis and that is a powerful piece of equipment. And, women are so beautiful, why wouldn’t men be obsessed. Their shapes, their smells, and the fact that they have a part on them that holds our penis so perfectly. Plus, I don’t think it would be considered rape if a woman was the predator because I don’t know too many guys that would be like, “No, get off of me”, or “How dare you put your vagina around my penis”.

DrBill's avatar

This is not just men, it is true with all two sexed animals. The male can reproduce (breed) hundreds of times during the same period it takes a female to reproduce once.

Nature dictates the male mate as often as possible to continue his line. Because the female has a long time commitment for every offspring, they are more determined to select the best male they can to impregnate them.

He is given the hyper-sex drive to produce the most offspring possible, so some will survive, to carry his line.

She is given a biological clock, while she wants to reproduce, she want to make it the very best and strongest to insure a high survival rate, to carry her line.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

@nocountry2 actually in prison settings women have been known to rape other women. They use what ever they can get their hands on to do it. as Susanc said, rape is not about sex 95% of the time. This is why you hear about old women being raped. It is not because the guy just couldn’t resist that 85 year old beauty, its because its a power trip.

galileogirl's avatar

Back to God—I think She set the ball rolling but didn’t specifically design how flora and fauna procreate. Otherwise I think she could have come up with a more sensible way for humanity.

asmonet's avatar

@shadling: I realize it’s not technicaly Hedwig, but…:’( Hedwig lurve.

asmonet's avatar

@tennesseejac: Everything was fine up until you said:

“Plus, I don’t think it would be considered rape if a woman was the predator because I don’t know too many guys that would be like, “No, get off of me”, or “How dare you put your vagina around my penis”.”

That’s just ignorant. Not everyone wants heterosexual sex, or to be forced to have sex period. If you had a gay man have sex with you, wouldn’t you be upset? What if a gay man was forced to have sex with a woman? He is in no way interested in any part of it. It’s taken years to have the rape of men to be taken seriously in court because of the ridiculous idea that you ‘can’t rape the willing’. That way of thinking is absolutely offensive.

KatawaGrey's avatar

@asmonet: Sing it, sister. Too often people assume that rape is something that can only be done by men to women or children. The truth is that men can rape other men and women can rape men, women and children. I have two good friends who are male who were raped by former girlfriends. Why do I call it rape? Because neither of them wanted to have sex. They did not get hurt. They did not press charges. They continued to date these girls. Do any of these factors make it okay? Do these mean it wasn’t rape? Nope. These young men were raped just as surely as if they had been women whose boyfriends had forced them to have sex.

tennesseejac's avatar

@asmonet : I thought it was obvious that I was trying to lighten up this thread, I didn’t know you guys took everything you read on Fluther so seriously. I think rape is ridiculous, and wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.

But, “if rape is inevitable just sit back and enjoy it”

rooeytoo's avatar

I think that society and culture has a lot to do with the prevailing situation. Females are taught “good girls don’t”, young males get a different set of directives. Females are taught to repress sexuality, males are encouraged (at the very least by their peers) to flaunt it. If it were possible to raise a child of either sex without these influences, I think the balance would be more equal, some people have a higher sex drive than others and this would become more evident in that scenario.

asmonet's avatar

@tennesseejac: I just don’t think rape is a very funny topic. :)

asmonet's avatar

@KatawaGrey: Amen, sista friend. :D

galileogirl's avatar

@tennesseejac So now that you’ve managed to shove the OTHER foot in your mouth, maybe you should get educated. A involuntary physical reaction does not equal ‘fun’. You might enjoy going out for a run but not with your hands tied behind your back and being pulled by a car going 20 mph, get it?

btko's avatar

Wow Tennesseejac… just wow.

As for the topic. I don’t really know what it is, but it makes sense as far as evolution is concerned: the more sex driven men are going to procreate more and so on…

tennesseejac's avatar

@galileogirl : lighten up. I didnt say anything about being dragged behind a car… and having both feet in you mouth would be better than an unwanted object in another hole on my body

galileogirl's avatar

Now you’re getting it, good boy.

introv's avatar

Women are just so beautiful and men are really quite hideous. Is it any wonder that one wants to have sex with the other more than the other way round?

Mizuki's avatar

Lynn—maybe men are just obsessed about sex with you….

RandomMrdan's avatar

I’m with Lkidkyle on this one, it’s a generalization in my opinion. I know of women who are just as crazy as I am about sex. And like he said, it is somewhat of a double standard. Each person is different, and I liked the secretary analogy. I could be completely not in the mood to do anything sexual, but if a girlfriend is in the mood, I can be in the mood in a moments notice.

I suppose you could try to argue that men have a stronger sex drive than most women, but isn’t always the case. I’ve heard that women’s sex drive comes later in age like mid 30’s to 40’s, where as Men have a higher sex drive in their early 20’s.

Men probably masturbate more than women too I’m sure…for one, it’s almost like a daily thing for a single guy, it’s almost like shaving. It’s just so accessible and easy, and it’s just waiting to be used I guess, so why not. But I know women again who masturbate frequently. I’ve come to learn this when discussions get to topics like this.

I would still have to go with a stereo type / generalization of men.

laureth's avatar

@introv – I look at me and I look at Brad Pitt and I beg to differ.

RandomMrdan's avatar

@introv Not all women are beautiful…I’ve seen some quite hideous women out there that you couldn’t pay me enough money to have sex with. And I’m not quite sure how you could say all men are hideous either?

asmonet's avatar

@RandomMrdan: In general, men are pretty utilitarian. I wouldn’t say hideous, but women are far more beautiful. Seems to me the naked woman is far more prevalent in art than the naked man. Just sayin’.

RandomMrdan's avatar

@asmonet, what about all the greek and roman architecture…there are plenty of statues and all sorts alike for men. I’m not saying women aren’t beautiful. But men aren’t hideous simply because women are beautiful.

tennesseejac's avatar

@asmonet : Michaelangelo sure liked the naked man

laureth's avatar

@asmonet – Perhaps most of the pictures we have were painted by men. ;)

asmonet's avatar

@laureth: SHHHH. I knew someone was gonna point that out. But even so, a lot of artists that were men, liked boy parts too. So it and they go both ways.

@RandomMrdan: From an artist’s perspective, I find men to be absolutely boring, and usually I think their bodies are ugly. I’m heterosexual but I vastly prefer the female form if I have to stare at one, much more interesting. And as for Greek and Roman architecture, yeah, but it’s also true for all patriarchal societies. Besides, there is an equal amount of women in their art males were just more prominent.

syz's avatar

This thread is like an amoeba, stretching in various and competing directions. I’ve gotten distracted so many times, I don’t remember what I wanted to answer

Vinifera7's avatar

Male sex drive is a trait passed down to humans from far, far back in evolutionary history. It is advantageous to survival of the species that possesses it and is therefore selected, not because the species wills it, but because they are less likely to go extinct.

The human species is unique in that it has the ability of foresight: we can predict the effects of our actions to some extent. This, coupled with our adaptability and large brains allows humans to follow intellectual pursuits that other species cannot, and it is what allows people like me to stray from genetic sex-driven goals and pursue goals that aren’t necessarily for the betterment of the species as a whole.

I think that answers it fairly well in so few words.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

Hmm I dont know I find that a muscular male body is a lot more interesting than your normal female body. I mean there is a lot more going on with all the muscles and what not. Michelangelo didn’t pick a male for his famous sculpture for no reason, but of course this entirely an opinion question anyways.

Vinifera7's avatar

They were also a lot more open about sexuality and appreciative of the beauty of the human body. A sculpted male body is beautiful, but so are a pair of perfect tits and a big, bubble ass!

shadling21's avatar

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

RandomMrdan's avatar

as a heterosexual male, I find a statue of a woman and a man equally boring.

susanc's avatar

A “big, bubble ass” is GOOD?
God, I wish my sainted mother had known that. She made me wear girdles when I
was 15, 5’7” and 114 pounds.

Oh, sorry, threadjack, but I got excited.

introv's avatar

@RandomMrdan Ok I was generalising for effect.

@laureth I’m sure I would find you more attractive than Brad (although you’ve picked the right man for me to appreciate he is a little sexy)

Of all the women I know and have polled on the matter it seems fairly clear to me that women can be far more appreciative of the sexiness of other women than men can of other men. A man, in general, can see the sexiness in only the most beautiful of men whereas women can see sexiness in very plain women. (Talking heterosexual men and women here. But I would question whether gay men are more likely to be able to see the beauty/sexiness in women than gay women can see the beauty/sexiness in men.)

And my sample is quite small, and it could be that most men just aren’t willing to admit that they find other men attractive.

But I stand by my original hypothesis that women are, by design, far more visually appealing than men by default – straight out of the box, so to speak. They are designed to be desirable and the male sex drive reflects that – especially during the summer lol. Not to mention the fact that men absolutely HAVE to ejaculate. That will push your sex obsession up pretty quick if you go without for a while.

asmonet's avatar

@introv: Word. Except not all men ejaculate. =O

saranwrapper's avatar

I’m just as sex obsessed as most of my guy friends. I think it’s just everyone. Unless my level isn’t normal. Oh no, now I have a complex.

answerjill's avatar

I never did get the whole Brad-Pitt-thing.

Knotmyday's avatar

I was going to say “propagation of the species” or something but now I’ve been kind of knocked off-kilter by “except not all men ejaculate,” @asmonet. I wasn’t aware there other options? My bubble-ass kind of hurts. I mean my head. Tylenol, anyone?

asmonet's avatar

@Knotmyday: It’s a medical condition, technically. But there can be other reasons. :)

maybe_KB's avatar

Balls are fun!
We’ve all had one, but only few keep ‘em

Vincentt's avatar

@stephen – oh nostalgia… :P

tb1570's avatar

so our species could survive.

asmonet, more women are featured in art b/c more men are artists!!!

asmonet's avatar

@tb1570: Not really true, do some art history. :)

Male Artists =/= Heterosexual leanings in subject necessarily.

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