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Imastarwars's avatar

When do you think young girls should have a boyfriend?

Asked by Imastarwars (62 points ) March 3rd, 2009 from iPhone

Boys, friends, advice

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

22 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

How old is the young girl? How mature is she? Is she related to you? Do you trust her? Will she abide by ground rules?

btko's avatar

What do you mean by young? And what kind of boyfriend?

If she’s 7 and she has a “boyfriend” at school that seems normal…

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I had my first boyfriend when I was thirteen, but I was pretty mature for my age and always hung out with older girls, so when they started getting boyfriends, so did I.

LouisianaGirl's avatar

@Imastarwars when the girl is mature enough and will understand that everyone gets their heart broken at least once in their life.

marinelife's avatar

What do you mean by boyfriend?

I said I had a boyfriend in second grade. (We kissed behind the coat rack.)

I said I had a boyfriend in sixth grade. We had lunch at each other’s house. I helped him with his paper route.

One-on-one dating (not hanging out at school, not with a group of friends) I think should wait for at least 15 or 16.

Jeruba's avatar

There is no age by which she ought to have a boyfriend. There’s no hurry at all. If she can take her time, she should. And if she can’t wait, all the more reason to slow down.

mangeons's avatar

Talk to her about it, and determine if she’s ready. There’s no set age, really. I’m 13, and I still haven’t had a boyfriend. ((blushes))

cak's avatar

@Marina – great breakdown!

My daughter is 15, she was allowed to go on a group date, last weekend. Just to the movies. It didn’t go so well, I can’t say that my husband and I are terribly disappointed.

It’s also has a lot to do with maturity level, emotional readiness and truly, has she proven trustworthy. I know some 17yr old that have no business dating. There isn’t some magic formula to all of this – it varies on the person.

laureth's avatar

@mangeons – no shame in that! You have a good attitude and maturity for someone your age.

mangeons's avatar

((blushes))

LouisianaGirl's avatar

@mangeons dont worry I`m 13 and I`m trying to avoid boys but my friends keep trying to hook me up with people

girlofscience's avatar

My gorgeous and amazing and wonderful best friend who every guy in the world would ever want refused to have a boyfriend until she was 21. Her mom told her she was too young for a boyfriend, and she agreed. She certainly “dated,” but never committed to anyone (despite the number of people that wanted to commit to her), because she felt she was too young to handle that kind of commitment.

Now she is 22 and has a beautiful relationship with the perfect guy.

I think more people should follow her course.

wundayatta's avatar

If I have anything to say about it, 30. Yeah. 30.

Aw heck. My daughter is 12. Some of her classmates, hell, her best friend has a boyfriend—the most talented kid in their class. I don’t know what this means. Most “dates” at this age seem to involve chaperones.

My daughter claims to be interested in boys when talking to her friends, but I see no phone calls with anyone besides her girlfriends. They have mini-courses this week, and she’s taking something about contemporary issues. I forget what it’s called. There are only girls in this course, and they were talking about abuse (“what’s abuse,” asked my son. I’m sympathetic, but he’s always butting in just when my daughter is about to reveal something she is unsure about).

She reports that this group of girls thought boys were much different in their interests and judgement of girls. Boys only talk about what girls look like. Apparently they were talking about the ideal girl, and they said, in front of the girls involved, “I want this girls chest and that girls legs,” etc, etc.

As to what the girls wanted in a boy? She sounded just like the more mature women here. Brains. Humor. Kindness. I think looks were somewhere on the list, but much further down.

I ask you, does anything ever change when we grow up?

Anyway, it doesn’t sound like the girls will be much interested in boys their age any time soon. Of course, older men….. Ok. I’m getting out that old chastity belt that’s been in the basement lo these many years.

However, I’d venture to guess that the girls who are mature enough to “date” at an early age arent’ interested in dating, and the girls who want to date are the ones who really shouldn’t.

When they get to be 15 or 16… I don’t know. I sure as heck hope that she got our genes on this one. Neither of us dated in high school, and we got to college fairly innocent. Of course, in college, all bets are off.

mangeons's avatar

I don’t wanna sound all teenage-ry on you guys, but like, I’m friends with someone, and I don’t wanna lose my friendship w/ him by asking him out, but I really like him, so I really don’t know what to do. D:

cak's avatar

@mangeons – ask yourself which is more important…a friendship or dating? What are the odds that dating will last? I know, friendship can end, as well; however, you have a stronger chance at holding onto that friendship longer.

Oh, and by the way – it’s okay to sound all teenagery-ish! You are a teen, 13, right? Perfectly acceptable! :)

mangeons's avatar

Yep. He’s in 9th grade, I’m in 8th. I just really like him, that’s all. As a friend, and as more. But I’m afraid it’ll screw up our friendship if he says no, you know what I mean? feels stupid and teenage-cliche-ish

Bri_L's avatar

I still don’t think my wife should be dating.

I was loved by the parents of every girl I dated. They trusted me to be at their houses alone with their daughters and everything. I know what was going through my head. I am scared shitless for my little daughter.

ark_a_dong's avatar

I know it’s cliche, but I think it’s best to just let nature run its course.

Jack79's avatar

15 if it’s someone else’s daughter. 31 for mine.
Ok, maybe 29 if I get to pick the boyfriend.

And no sex before marriage.

And he has to pass all the tests first.

punkrockworld's avatar

Whenever that person is ready for it. Some are when they are 12, some are when they are 21. You can’t and should not force her.

hannah15's avatar

when your parents tell you or when you are 20. a lot girls have boyfriend when they are 13 but I think it’s wrong.

Ron_C's avatar

Having raised two girls and having three granddaughters, I would say that the preferred age would be sometime in their 30’s. Since in reality, I had no say in the matter, I rather enjoyed torturing the boys that they dated. One of the few good things about fathering young girls is the right and insistence that I meet their boyfriends BEFORE they go out on a date. I figure that if they still want to date my daughter after I tell them that “I’ve been in prison before and am not afraid of going back”, the kid is o.k.

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