Someone recently asked me..."Why do you think that newly divorced people get involved in really committed relationships really fast?" I didn't know whether to be offended or to think about it...so I'm asking you.

I think it’s dangerous to make such blanket statements. I’ve known a few divorced people to do that. I’ve known a lot of people who got divorced and stayed single for years after that or who dated a bunch of different people and didn’t settle down.

No reason to be offended really. Sometimes divorced people really enjoyed a committed relationship so it’s not surprising that some would try to get that again right away though that’s not a good way to go about going about it.

When me and my ex. signed off on our divorce. I was and she was also in a relationship. Funny, from the time I said I wanted a divorce till the time it was final was like 3 months.
It is a matter of if someone crosses your path or not.
For me, that after marriage relationship lasted almost 2 years. That ended 8 months ago. I have dated but not yet found someone I felt a connection with, someone I want to dedicate to.
Roll of the dice.

I don’t really find it offensive. I think that in some cases at least, people are so used to being half of a relationship they aren’t sure what they are without that.

I wouldn’t find it offensive, unless it was a passive-aggressive swipe at me, personally. (saying that as an example, I avoided relationships, after my divorce!)

I think some rush into an relationship for the comfort. They know what it feels like to be in a relationship, when it’s good. It’s something they know, it’s something they can relate to, being alone – dating again…well, frankly, I found it scary. I did the opposite, I avoided any kind of true relationship. I hated the thought of being in one, ever again.

Years later, I met and later married my second husband. Glad I didn’t avoid that relationship!

There is a lot of information that indicates that it’s not a good idea to rush into a new relationship until you have had time to process the fallout from the old one.

Still, many people may try to “fix” their life with a new relationship. It just depends on the people.

I also agree with SuperMouse. I would even take that farther and say that there is a segment of the population who never want to be alone in their life.

I can’t comment on the offended part. You did not give enough detail as to why this was said to you or in what context or by whom it was said.

It’s not just divorce. It’s a common enough phenomenon to have a name: a rebound relationship.

You break up with someone, and it stings to be alone, and you miss the old person, and you miss being part of a couple, so you get involved with someone else really quickly.

It’s different for each individual person and what kind of relationships and interactions they want in their life. Some are more accustomed to constant companionship and others need their space until they’re ready to try again. After my first marriage ended, I spent 5 years dating on and off until I met my second wife and got married again. To each their own and there isn’t anything wrong or offensive about those that are quick to engage in new relationships or those that take additional time to find happiness and satisfaction again.

@cwilbur It could also be how subhuman people feel when they get divorced. They feel unworthy of love, and then try to find someone who will make them feel like they aren’t.

That’s a blanket statement, and basically useless.

Keep this one scenario in mind: many newly divorced people appear to get into seriously relationships right away when the truth is, they were probably in those particular relationships long before the divorce and the divorce only brings it to light.

total generalization, and case of confirmation bias. that’s like me thinking that because the random-unfounded-opinion-generator in my mind rolled that opinion, and then after i saw jon from that ridiculous jon & kate show with his new girl, i was like, “MAN, i told you! it happens so often. why?” i think a lot of people tend to think that way because as soon as celebrities get divorced, every tabloid in the world picks a million different people they’re supposedly dating, until they eventually do find a new love. the marriage-divorce-new-relationship game is so overplayed in the media that it seems like it’s true, but it’s pretty stupid and untrue.

If it were true, the obvious, would be “on the rebound”.

It really, really hurts to lose a long term relationship.

Pain relief can be compelling. Not too different than narcotics, and look at what people do for that.

I think people on the rebound are so, vulnerable, and likely to enter into something pathological, that it’s a good idea to take a few months out at least.

People are so accustomed to having a partner around and a routine with him or her that when it suddenly ends they can feel empty and not know how to deal with day to day living. I got into a relationship immediately after my divorce but if I had it to do over again I wouldn’t have done it. I wasn’t ready at all , it didn’t fit right and after a few months it just burned out. Then I got into another one and even then I wasn’t ready. I had lived with my ex for 18 years and when that was over ? I can’t explain how it felt.