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Axemusica's avatar

Do you opt to not to tell people about fluther more than you do?

Asked by Axemusica (9397 points ) December 9th, 2009

I’ve been reading a lot of questions about relationships and sexual preferences and what not and it got me thinking…

I know there’s quite a few couples on fluther and I think it’s lurverific, but what about people that aren’t really sure about their significant other? Do they opt not to tell them about fluther because of fear that they might be saying things to intimate or because they love fluther so much the thought of someone that they had a relationship with is now on something that they hold dear?

Do you not want your friends to know about your thoughts because it might embarrass you?

At any first given opportunity, do you inform others about fluther or do you revert because you fear they might change your experience?

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23 Answers

faye's avatar

I told my daughter [who lives in my basement] about this great site I found, later she said she had read some of my answers. I kind of wish I had made up a name. So I don’t tell any of my other friends for fear I would have to censor myself.

Facade's avatar

I mention it to people I like. They, including my boyfriend, don’t care to check it out.

rangerr's avatar

The only person in my real life who know about Fluther or, at least that I’m on is my ex.
I don’t necessarily want others to judge me based on my answers here.

DominicX's avatar

I’m still not sure whether I want to tell my boyfriend about this site. It would be cool to have him here, but I have talked about him a lot and this is kinda my thing that I do. I certainly haven’t told any of my friends about it. Only my parents know about it and they’ve never even gone on the site.

JONESGH's avatar

I don’t tell anyone because I’ve probably talked about them on here or will need to in the future.

mclaugh's avatar

I have told my roomate about it and she has yet to check it out. i could also tell one of my other friends because i share any and everything with her.. but as for other people, i don’t think i’d tell them i’m on here just so i don’t have to censor anythings i’m writing.

sevenfourteen's avatar

I barely tell anyone about this site- and if I do it’s to people I’m certain won’t join because I like collective opinions of random strangers who have no history with you or know anything other than what you tell them. You can be who you want to be and get completely honnest answers. I would lovee to know what my bf would ask/answer if he was on here but I probably would never tell him about it because of things I’ve said.

LC_Beta's avatar

My partner know about fluther & has been asked not to spy on me :p

buckyboy28's avatar

I mention it to friends, but I’m not really adamant on having them sign up. It’s not that anything I say is a secret (hell, searching my user name in a google search will show my responses anyway), but I feel like my friends wouldn’t really have as great a time on Fluther as I do.

cookieman's avatar

I told my wife about Fluther and she was briefly an active member. I wish she was still interested, but she gets bored of things easily (thankfully not me…yet) ;^)

I also recently told a good friend about it. He’s in a rough spot after a bad divorce and I thought it may be good for him. I have no idea if he checked it out – he could be on here now under a pseudonym.

As far as things I’ve shared here getting back to someone in “real life” – I have one basic rule (which I’ve repeated here before): Never say anything on Fluther you wouldn’t repeat in real life.

The real reason I’m reluctant to tell people, frankly, is because when Fluther membership was smaller, I really liked the close knit community. I really didn’t want it to expand. Now that it has anyway (with some excellent new jellies), I have a harder time getting “back into the Fluther groove” as it were.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

A few of my friends know about fluther but I don’t talk about fluther with co workers or my current partner. It’s no secret so I feel if they’re interested then they’ll find it on their own or ask me more. I might be kind of embarrassed by some of the things I have shared but none of them are damaging. I know the internets is up for grabs.

arnbev959's avatar

I haven’t told anyone about Fluther. I like that I can be honest here, and if I knew someone I know in real life might read what I say here I would probably write my answers differently.

simplicity's avatar

I was in a relationship with someone and shared my interest in Fluther with them. However she got into it in a rather major way and I was forced into abandoning my account rather than forcing her off, or intruding in her life. My new SO is now also a member here and although all my virtual lurve has gone with my old account, I have a full set of real lurve to make up for it. Yay!

Although I have told other people I have an account here I have never given them my name. Some opinions of mine I just don’t want them to know!

RocketSquid's avatar

I don’t tell certain friends of mine about fluther, not out of fear that they’ll read my answers, but because they spend a lot of time on the darkest place on the internet. The one friend I’ve shown wasn’t interested too much, but I let him know just in case that if I see any influence from you-know-where, I’m kicking down his door with a baseball bat in hand.

gemiwing's avatar

I don’t because I’d like one thing to be just mine. I need space too.

sliceswiththings's avatar

Yeah I don’t want to tell people because this is also my aim screenname, so friends would recognize it. I refer to it, but I try to avoid the name.

Jude's avatar

My girlfriend knows about it. I’ve also told her about a few Flutherites and she’s rather fond of the Jelly known as Grisaille (they have a mutual love of Carl Sagan. I love him, as well). She thinks that it’s cool, but, has no interest coming on. She was tempted to call into Random Ass Radio hosted by our muchly lurved Blondesjon. A few more Estrellas and she would have.

I wouldn’t mind having her on here.

As far as other family and friends go, Fluther is my dirty, little secret. :)

wundayatta's avatar

My wife knows I do this, but she never comes aboard, at least, as far as I know. I’ve stopped telling anyone else. It is very important that no one who knows me in real life (except my wife) knows who I am in fluther life. Although, I think my daughter could figure it out if she wanted to. I’m sure she’s seen my avatar on the computer at times. If she ever came here, she would probably find out more than she wanted to.

I wish I lived in a world where people would always be understanding of mistakes and differences of opinion; where people were always willing to listen to each other and wouldn’t attack just because that’s their knee jerk reaction. I don’t live in that world, or a world anywhere near it, so I come to fluther, where I can pretend to be my full self (I can only really do that in real life).

Even here, understanding is a learning process. I think this place allows us to see the same thing from many different points of view, and that tells us things we never might have considered otherwise. I think the community is learning the value of listening, and the value of politeness and the value of encouraging people to be open about things that are not normally discussed. Where else can you have a serious discussion about why people spend so much time on the toilet along side practical dating advice? Where else can you can you have a serious discussion about fellatic techniques side by side with an analysis of health care reform?

This community is learning about the value of politeness and the value of holding your tongue long enough to listen, and I think it is becoming something special. I think this is something we are all doing together, and I think we have to feel free to open our mouths (but not when someone else is talking) to speak the truth about what we think, not some pablum that we believe will be acceptable to others.

Protecting that openness and freedom is very important. It may require that we keep people who know us in the real world from knowing us here. Other people seem to have no problem…. actually, that’s not true. I know people who have not been willing to say things publicly because a child or a spouse or a friend was here. Maybe there should be a little explanation of the consequences of sharing your identity on the sign-up page, just so people can make fully informed decisions about who to share or how to share fluther with others.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I’ve mentioned it to some, but they just say “what’s fluther?” They don’t seem interested, which is probably a good thing. I’ve said some things on here that I’d hate for my RL friends & family to see. There’s two on here who know who I really am, but that’s okay. They know the score & I trust them. Other than that, I’m just going to keep this site to myself.

seekingwolf's avatar

Nope, no one knows. :D Just the way I like it.
I think it would be nice not to tell your SO because then, if you want some advice on a relationship problem, you could come here to get it and not worry about the SO seeing it and being upset… :)

YARNLADY's avatar

Ummmm, yes? The only people I tell are the people I tell.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I haven’t told anyone, really, except in passing. My friends and family can follow me all over the internet as it is.

Leanne1986's avatar

I don’t mention it to people because I like the fact that I don’t have to worry about what I write at the moment. However, I wouldn’t deny it if it ever came up in conversation and there have been many times when I would have liked one of my friends to answer a question on here to see what there answer would be.

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