General Question

halfg's avatar

Dancing with random girls at a club - How does it work?

Asked by halfg (180 points ) December 13th, 2009

Because I’m not well-versed at this sort of thing at all, what is the process here? Do I ask if they want to dance? Do I just go up to them and start dancing? Do I just keep dancing, and if I’m good than I’m supposed to wait for a girl to dance with me? Do I sort of “ease” into it, by dancing closer and closer to them until we are dance partners? I don’t have a fear of rejection, but I do have an IMMENSE fear of making people feel uncomfortable.

Girls – What do you prefer for random shmoes to do in these situations? (maybe you’d rather random shmoes just not dance with you at all?)

Guys – What is your “method” for this?

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19 Answers

Cotton101's avatar

back in my younger days, did visit the clubs..and Hafq, just walk over and say, “would you like to dance?” secret, don’t get discouraged if they say no…they could be feeling bad and lots of other things going on in their life that you are not aware of…so, don’t take it personal..

stormy's avatar

I prefer random shmoes to just leave me alone :)

Blondesjon's avatar

I should not be answering this question. I am required, by court order, to never dance in public. In fact, if you ever see me dancing somewhere, please get me home. I am in a blackout.

sndfreQ's avatar

I think you can take some of the pressure of them and yourself if you just get on the dancefloor and become one with the music. In a former life, I would just get on and dance by myself, and in most cases, a group of folks would just crowd around; if I felt compelled then I would catch the eye of someone else dancing and then move closer, and let it flow…

There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re being hawked by someone, guy or girl. Just be into the music and you will appear less desperate. Always worked for me. Plus I think girls have this sixth sense about them when a guy is not comfortable with dancing, and there just to pick up on them. F- that noise!

Here’s an old shot of me from back in the day for reference: http://bit.ly/5hGkIn

Roory's avatar

Personally, a guy who asks me to dance with him when im on the dancefloor is a total no no… dont do that, instead you see a girl you like, smile at her, if she smiles back keep on dancing but sloowly approach her with time, keep eye contact from time to time to check if she is still interested. Then as you approach her dont get really close to her, just dance with her, ask her her name, or where shes from, or tell her she looks really cute or anything… that way you sort of anounce that your dancing partners and then enjoy !
Another point, rejection in clubs is never seen, everyone is too busy getting drunk, being drunk or dancing… so chill !

Cotton101's avatar

Blondesjon loll..

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

I don’t know.. I always found dance clubs kinda lame. Music too loud for conversation… too crowded… fights breaking out over uber-retardedry… To be perfectly honest, I’m not even really attracted to the club-type girl.. I prefer the pensive, coffee shop type girl.. XD (Not that it matters.. I’ve already got my coffee shop girl.. lol)

But as far as this question… I can only offer two angles:

1. Be having so much fun that they want to dance with you .. don’t be so worried about what they think.. just have fun.. if they can’t deal with that than you don’t want to be with them anyway

2. Just ask them as @Cotton101 said. At this point they know next to nothing about you so their answer will likely be based on if they think you are “hot” or not… That’s why I prefer approach one.. Personality trumps looks every time for me.. I assume it’s the same for women..to an extent.

Oxymoron's avatar

All you have to do is go up to a girl you want to dance with and either:
1)Ask her if she wants to dance with you if she’s not already dancing.
2)Just begin dancing with her if she’s already out on the dance floor.

le_inferno's avatar

Okay. I used to go to frats fairly often throughout the semester so I know how this shit goes down.
Guys do all of the following:
A) Make lame attempts to talk to/flirt with a girl he finds attractive when they’re outside the dance floor, i.e. at the bar, on the outer fringes, etc, then ask her to dance.
B) If it’s a crowded dance party, he’ll just grind up on some booty he thinks looks decent, and hope she grinds back.
C) The guys will dance really close to the girls, waiting for them to make the transition. The girls will either comply, or move away as a flock.

There are many interesting variations of A. For example, a couple weeks ago, a guy came up to me and said “You see, my friend here has NEVER danced with a girl before. Would you dance with him?” He also tried “Has never kissed a girl before.” One guy, apparently frustrated with the lack of single girls around, straight out asked me “Do YOU have a boyfriend?” I said yes, and he throws out his arms and goes “WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS HE?” Frat boys will go to pretty outrageous extents.

hiphiphopflipflapflop's avatar

Leave that to the smooth operators. Arrange things beforehand so that you are accompanied to the club by a not-so-random female who wants to dance with you.

smack's avatar

HAHAHAHAHA JESS I feel yah gurl.
Personally, I prefer if a guy firsts makes eye contact with me, then asks me to dance. Sometimes if I’m not drunk enough, it’s weird if a guy just comes up and starts grinding with me. Additionally, there have been many a frat dance party where guys stand awkwardly on the fringe and “scope” the dance floor out, which makes girls rather uncomfortable. Just ask permission first, you should be fine :)

Dabria's avatar

Well I enjoy dancing and if a guy came over and he was good at dancing I woulnd’t mind so much, if he was a jerk who was drunk I would move away from him!
Be confident in yourself and make eye contact with the girl, ideally, before you get to the dance floor, if possible speak say hello or even chat.
You may ask her to dance, however don’t just barge your way in and dance in her face, that is VERY annoying!!

Justnice's avatar

Well I hit the clubs pretty often so I’m an expert. Girls like to see guys that are confident so if you see a girl dancing by herself then just start dancing next to her. If you see her looking at you then just start dancing with her. When a girl is dancing with her friends, leave her alone! Don’t ask to dance cause that’s just weird, everybodys at the club to dance so just dance!

Shemarq's avatar

Whatever you do, don’t imitate Night at the Roxbury! LOL!!!

sakura's avatar

just go up to them and start moving your best groove, they will either dance along or walk away, hopefully if you are good enough they will dance along, if not they aren’tworth it move onwards and upwards!

JessicaisinLove's avatar

Walk up to the girl and say “would you like to dance”?

YARNLADY's avatar

Disclaimer – my experience is from the way back days: When I was a volunteer at the USO, the girls just sat there until a guy walked over and said “Care to dance?” That’s all there was. Of course, we were expected to always say yes, so I don’t know in the civilian dance club if this is the same.

LethalCupcake's avatar

Try making eye contact – If she smiles – ASK HER TO DANCE! seriously….

Written's avatar

I honestly don’t see jumping around in a club, waving my hands in any possible motion while trying to look cool – also known as dancing – while listening to loud and crappy music to be a good time. Or even a semi-good time.

But, people are different. As many before stated, I suggest making some kind of eye contact, etc. and if she ‘replies’, then ask her to dance. If it works, yaay, if it doesn’t try it on the next girl, or just change your strategy.

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