Social Question

Jude's avatar

What are the signs that someone who has given up...

Asked by Jude (31977 points ) January 6th, 2010

on life?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

50 Answers

tinyfaery's avatar

I’m not sure what you are asking. Do you want to know some suicide warning signs?

john65pennington's avatar

They cry. no joke. have you really ever noticed that a person, especially a woman, has exhausted every means to resolve a problem and there is no other avenue? tears are the only thing left. i had seen this many times, especially when making an arrest of a spouse or a family member for a crime.

Jude's avatar

@tinyfaery Yes.

There is someone that I know who is sinking deeper and deeper.

chyna's avatar

Giving away their stuff, especially treasured items. A calmness where there wasn’t calmness in their life before. Visiting people they hadn’t seen in a while.

tinyfaery's avatar

A general withdrawal from most aspects of life: work, friends, family. Many people have hygiene issues and have a change in sleeping patterns. But these are just generalities. You really have to know the person. Look for extreme changes in behavior.

Someone at an acute risk of suicide might start saying goodbye to people or wrapping up loose ends. If this person was very emotional and suddenly seems calm and peaceful, that’s a bad sign. Many people who have struggled through life feel a sense of peace when they know the pain is about to end.

You can always flat out ask. It could fluster them and make them reveal something they might otherwise keep to themselves. Ask if they have a plan. Plans are bad.

SeventhSense's avatar

@tinyfaery
Ironically this can also be a point of awakening if the person can realize that they have a choice in how much they create these stresses and learn new coping skills.

filmfann's avatar

they stop eating.
They stop talking about what they will do in the future.
They stop taking care of long term things, like paying bills.
They stop taking care of short term things, like doing dishes.
Ya, I’ve been there.

gemiwing's avatar

Each person’s signs can vary making it even scarier for those who care.

I could tell you my depression signs (these are my more extreme signs and usually end up in a hospitalization or med adjustment), if that might help. I also get suicidal when manic but it doesn’t seem that would be relevant in this case.

Sleeping for more than 12 hours on a regular basis for over two weeks.
Inappropriate emotional response (either anger, fear or sorrow that is overblown.)
Rocking myself or other self-calming behavior.
Eating too little or eating too much.
Drinking to numb the pain and quiet my mind.
Hoarding sharp objects and knives.
Saying cryptic things like ‘It will all be better soon, you’ll see”.
Saying things like ‘I’m the source of all of our problems. You’d be better off without me”

There is nothing wrong with asking them if they are suicidal. Don’t count on an honest answer. It could be part of their ‘plan’ to keep you in the dark because you’ll stand in the way of the only solution they see.

Something that convinced me to get help was taking the Goldberg Depression Survey online. It really showed me- without another human judging me- that it was time for help.
Just in case

CaptainHarley's avatar

Get them professional help, by whatever means you must.

Silhouette's avatar

There aren’t any. They are completely blank. Nothing gets in and nothing comes out.

Darwin's avatar

One friend of mine made it clear simply because he had a garage sale and sold almost everything he owned. We managed to get his ex-wife to talk him into going to the hospital for a few days, but then he got out, moved to another town, and drank himself to death.

SeventhSense's avatar

Ok great now I’m also mildly depressed
Now take my test
Apparently I’m more narcissistic than you’re average celebrity.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@tinyfaery and @chyna answers are excellent.
I will only add to it that they frequently make comments related to death and dying, even if indirectly.

They must get professional help soon with or without their consent!

gemiwing's avatar

@SeventhSense don’t worry, everyone is mildly depressed. Isn’t it the in thing nowadays? Besides, Goldberg’s questionnaire is more helpful for severe depression and identifying feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness anyway.

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Jude's avatar

@Silhouette Not to sound like a bitch, but, why don’t you PM @gemiwing about his/her blog, okay?

I think that we’re getting a little off topic here, you know?

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Jude's avatar

@Silhouette have a little respect. It’s a sensitive issue.

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Jude's avatar

@Silhouette okay, I’m talking about a family member who is suffering from chronic pain and someone who is really, really struggling and I’m asking a sensitive/difficult question here. Then, your response?? Wtf?

I have no time for this shit.

tinyfaery's avatar

Very rude. Not you @jmah

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Jude's avatar

Wow.

I’m done.

Silhouette's avatar

@jmahYAY!

Grisaille's avatar

The fuck is it these days and having to win “arguments?”

Ain’t about seniority, @Silhouette. It’s about respect towards your fellow primate. Just let it die, there is no win or lose.

In any case, @jmah, I hate to be that guy, but sometimes there really are no warning signs. I talk about this often (much to my discomfort, I feel as if I am somewhat using it), but when my friend committed suicide earlier this year, it was completely out of no where. Young, handsome, a socialite, model… it happened out of nowhere. He was always smiling, and never withdrawn – never talked about death and was always chipper.

Grain of salt. These things aren’t always easy to spot.

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MacBean's avatar

@Silhouette: Really, everyone was asked to get back on topic. You argued back instead of just getting back to the serious subject. That’s why you are the one who got the “public ass chewing.”

@jmah: You’ve gotten a few really great answers here. @tinyfaery‘s in particular, and @gemiwing‘s personal list of symptoms, too. They reflect my personal list. But what @Grisaille says is just as correct. When I was in middle school, I had a friend who killed himself and earlier that day I’d seen him waiting for the bus after classes and when I asked him how he was, he gave me a bright smile and said, “Never better.” Probably because he’d made up his mind, you know? But he hadn’t been exhibiting any of the “typical” signs before that at all.

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Dr_Lawrence's avatar

All this bickering is unnecessary and diverts us from an important question. Try and stay on topic people!

Sophief's avatar

They will cry a lot, silent tears are the worst. Stare into space. Go off food. Do things to themselves that is bad to their body. Speak really darkly and not able to think too far into the future (because they are hoping to not be in it). Loss of interest in a lot of things. Hope this helps. If you have any other questions, you are welcome to ask me.

EmpressPixie's avatar

[Mod says:] The topic is: What are the signs that someone who has given up on life? Stay on topic. Take private arguments and side conversations to PMs, as per usual. Off topic comments will be removed.

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tinyfaery's avatar

It’s very unfortunate how this thread derailed. Why don’t we all just stay on topic. Huh?

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oreo45's avatar

or they stop feeling anthing at all.

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GORGONLIFE's avatar

i gave up when i was 15 years old.. i just knew that i did not want to live any more.. but i wasnt suicidal i just had no value in or connection to anything at all.. im 34 now and am basically dean inside im just a shell that goes to work and pays bills and waits fro the end.. hoping it be soon.. my apathy and indifference to thew human experience is is contagiously strong.. i avoid people alot.. im addicted to sex and food.. i have no fear of death and the death of others is not a sorry inducing situation ii often envy the deceased and ask god to trade my life for their death.. i often pray to got to let the happy folks live and let me die..

sometimes i have pain in my chest and difficulty breathing from mental stress.. i dont tell anyone about this i hide it and when i get too weak i hide myself

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