Any good relationship advice for me?
Yesterday…my boyfriend has attended a close friend’s mother’s funeral..who was also like a mother to him.
We were texting and I wanted to know if he was alright. Eventually he told me that he is sorry and he doesn’t think our relationship is going to work because he needs to focus on school where he is lacking and he cannot handle one right now.
I understand that 100%! But do you guys think that the loss of his “second mother” could have affected his decision also? That is what i am thinking. Well, he says he still loves me but wants to be friends and see where our friendship goes. Do you think the loss could have impacted his decision? Also, what do you guys suggest I do from now? I really want to be an awesome friend and be there for him.
I know some of you are thinking that it is up to me, but I just want a few friendly suggestions and shared experience. Thank you!
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Yes, it has probably impacted his psyche. Even if only on a subconscious level. However… I don’t think there’s much you can do about it. Be a good friend. You know what that is. And you know how to be one. Or else you wouldn’t have any concern for him. So just… Do it. That’s the only advice I’d want to offer you in this situation. Anything else is useless fluff.
When someone loses a loved one.. Whether they be relative… Sibling… Or offspring… Or even just good friends… It affects them. Everything they associate with that person will take on a new meaning. But that’s part of life. Everyone deals with death differently.
Perhaps, it’s better for him to tune out things around him for a while. Focus on school and not worry about other things. Because that’s probably the real reason he has a new interest in focusing on school. It’s not just because he’s lacking… He was lacking before his “second mother” died (I assume). It’s an excuse to tune things out.
… And that’s okay! You seem to realize that, so kudos to you for not being offended. So simply carry on, be a good friend and do what you were planning to do anyways.
Yes. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Be yourself and the people who like that person will stick around for a long time. Those who don’t, won’t.
If you care about him, be his friend and support his desire to get his act together and make something of his education. If he doesn’t he’ll have no future, with or without you. Be patient if you wisg but if another opportunity for happiness comes along for you, live your life and he will support your decision if he is really your friend.
It’s quite probable that this has affected his decision.
You were in a relationship together, something tells me you two click somewhat and friendship should be a breeze.
Fact from fiction, truth from diction. Losing a mother can be quite tramatic.Be there, be a good listener, I am sure when he gets done grieving he will want to pick it up especially if you were there when he was hurting.
A death can be a wake-up moment – maybe something has clarified itself for him – give it time.
He is no doubt depressed. He could be thinking he is no good for anyone right now, and loves you enough that he doesn’t want to tie you down to someone who can’t give you what he thinks you deserve. Just speculation, though.
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