Thoughts of suicide?
I’m not always a happy person, it may seem like it but I’m really not. I am not always good at hiding the pain I feel, there are days when I can’t do it any longer. I don’t always tell the few people that im close to everything, there are things I hide from them. Mostly for my own good. Or to keep them out of my problems.
I’ve been through therapy for harming myself, I stopped going because I thought I was getting better at controlling myself. I realized that everytime I think i’m doing better, I just fall back into feeling like shit. My parents dont give a fuck, that’s why they sent me to a shrink. They can’t handle me when I’m like this. To my mom I’m just a bad influence to my sisters. My dad doesn’t say anything at all to me about it.
I just feel like swallowing a handful of pills and going to sleep. But then there is something in my head telling me not to. I act without thinking, that is also my problem.
I am tired of crying myself to sleep most nights. I don’t choose to feel this way, it just happens. I don’t know what to do about it either.
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