Social Question

Sophief's avatar

NSFW - Men - Would you feel inadequate?

Asked by Sophief (6611 points ) February 16th, 2010

Would you feel inadequate if your s/o were masturbating on a regular basis? Would you feel you were satisfying her enough, or wouldn’t you care?

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55 Answers

MrItty's avatar

I’d ask if I could watch and take lessons on how to please her more effectively.

Dr_C's avatar

I would not feel inadequate. It would be a sign that she has a high sex drive and is not necessarily an indication of her partner’s ability to please. If it were me i’d ask if I could watch and eventually participate.

Sarcasm's avatar

The fact that she’s masturbating regularly is not enough to make me feel inadequate.
That would just make me figure she’s got a bigger sex drive than I. Which makes sense. I apparently have a very small sex drive.

What would bother me, however, is if she had an interest in masturbating regularly, but seemed to have no interest in sex with me regularly.
Assuming that we were in a good relationship, one in which we have had sex before. I have no problem if she just wants to “save herself”.

sleepdoc's avatar

As long as I was given the chance to try to keep up, it is fine. If she needs it more than I can do it for here then she should feel free.

Sophief's avatar

I feel I have to do it on a regular basis, I still wouldn’t turn down sex, I just want more and more. I have a very high sex drive and I have never met anyone that can keep up.

Dr_C's avatar

@Dibley is that a challenge? ;)

Sophief's avatar

It’s a challenge! My first serious boyfriend was 21 and he couldn’t keep up!

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

No problem with it. I enjoyed watching her. She and her fem lover often masturbated together while I watched. It wouldn’t be long before my tongue was in there somewhere.

I would buy her many toys also. Sometimes we’d use them together.

Dr_C's avatar

@Dibley where does one sign up?

dpworkin's avatar

It’s fun to watch, but it’s her business.

Sophief's avatar

@Dr_C Er speechless and blushing!

Dr_C's avatar

@Dibley my work here is done

CMaz's avatar

“if your s/o were masturbating on a regular basis?”

SWEEEET! I have no problem with that. Nice motivational too to get me motivated. ;-)

And, as long as I am given the option to join in and/or watch.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Where’s the camera, and then can I play with her things as well goes thru my mind.

jfos's avatar

It could be that she’s so eager to get some more of me that her libido needs to be occupied somehow.

Something along the lines of sticking your thumb in the hole in the boat to temporarily avoid sinking. (Pun via imagery may or may not have been intended…)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Dr_C I’d want the image with me for as long as possible.

ucme's avatar

One finger one thumb keep moving.
One finger one thumb keep moving.
We all stay merry & bright.

Cruiser's avatar

I think it is incredibly hot and sexy and love to help her with verbal descriptions.

ETpro's avatar

I would be delighted that she was so highly sexed. It wouldn’t make me feel inadequate unless she indicated that she had to do it because I was incapable of satisfying her. In that case, I would take it as a homework assignment. Learn how.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Dibley My first answer was too flippant for your question. I’ll think a little more on this one and if I come up with something I’ll get back to you.

wundayatta's avatar

Wow! Would that I could ever experience such a thing, but alas, my libido has generally been three to four times higher than my SO’s. It’s a problem—one that takes up much time in our counseling sessions. I despair of it every being resolved happily.

Anyway, it is therefore hard to imagine such a situation. But I think if a woman needed more sex than I need, it wouldn’t bother me. I mean, it would be pretty clear whether or not I satisfied her when we were together, and if I weren’t satisfying her, we probably wouldn’t be long for the world, anyway.

More likely I’d find it so totally hot—I mean just thinking about it…. uh… has an impact, shall we say, on me. Oh well. Such a life is something I will only ever be able to dream about. Or write about. Sublimation, you know.

phil196662's avatar

@Dibley ; the wife loves to warm – up by masturbating, making all those noises that can be heard in another room only make me animal-like crazy… So I get warmed-up and come in the room and push her hands aside and fill the space with a better tool!

I view it as practic makes perfect

ratboy's avatar

I buy her boyfriend Viagra.

Violet's avatar

From what my partner tells me, he doesn’t care that I masturbate everyday. He thinks it’s funny that I talk about it so openly with him.

SeventhSense's avatar

@Violet
Well there’s some healthy clit diddling…and then there’s mounting the washing machine screaming
“Spin Cycle!” “Spin Cycle!”

Violet's avatar

@SeventhSense LOL!!! I just use a normal rabbit vibrator, and watch squirting porn (or squirting bondage porn etc)

SeventhSense's avatar

I could never trust a woman who watches porn.

Violet's avatar

@SeventhSense wow, that’s sexist

SeventhSense's avatar

Well it would be different if it’s together but it just seems like a woman who’s that sexed up…I don’t know… With guys it’s different. It’s just a physical outlet.

Violet's avatar

Your comments are very sexist. So women can’t have high sex drives? Women need a physical outlet too.

SeventhSense's avatar

Yes I guess I’m pretty chauvinistic.

Sophief's avatar

@phil196662 Another great answer.

@Violet I masturbate everyday, at least once sometimes. When my boyfriend gets home from work he can always tell what I’ve been up to, and then I tell him in detail how it went.

TheJoker's avatar

No, I wouldn’t see it as a reflection on me…. unless she said it was. People have wildly differing libido’s & while it’s ideal if you share a similar sex drive, so long as everyone’s happy I dont see it as a major stumbling block. I would want to find out if there was anything more, or perhaps different I could do.

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker There is nothing more he can do, a bit more often maybe but I do have a very high sex drive, very high.

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley Well, there’s nothing wrong with that… so long as both of you are happy & it doesn’t have a negative impact then it’s not a problem. Lets face it, most men complain about the exact opposite situation…

Sophief's avatar

I know, he should be happy I want it 24/7, he just says I’m insatiable.

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley Indeed, I’ve been out with women at both ends of the spectrum, & I know which I prefered…

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker If I am not in the mood for sex, like too tired or something, I don’t make some lame excuse, I can always wake up and get in the mood, it doesn’t take much. I even say to him, if you wake up in the night feel free to jump on!

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley Well, that has to smile on his face… & tired sex can be great anyway!

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker Well he only did it once, said he didn’t feel right just entering me while I was sleeping!

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley Hah, no, when you put it like that, waking you up first does seem the thing to do… Although waking you with a cuddle & a fumble first might be an alternative.

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker He just went straight in there!

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley Hay Caramba! That must have been quite a suprise!

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker Well, he’s not a little boy…......!

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley Ouch! In that case a little… preparation might have been a good idea!

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker Well I woke up quickly! But I was wide awake by the time it was over and never got back to sleep, while he was sleeping like a baby.

TheJoker's avatar

That sounds like a typically bloke thing to do…. he could have at least left you exhausted!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

He could have at least done a little oral prep work first.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Dibley My first concern would be am I doing everything I can to meet her needs. If I’m doing everything I possibly can and she just needs that much more and she is satisfied with my efforts, I’d be okay with it. I might even ask her to make it part of our play. If she would let me know she needs it, I’d either accomodate her orally or enjoy watching her take care of business. More than likely, that would turn me on so much I’d take care of business. I care about the wants and needs of all the important people around me, I just get the super special benefit of the sexual conection with my S/O. Well, I guess I could connect sexually with the other people in my life, but that might get me in trouble. Two people are probably never going to be completely in synch with their sex drives all the time, so they need to communicate with each other so they can adjust and take care of the other. That’s why she’s my S/O, and not just O. Okay Joker, Have at it.

phil196662's avatar

Oh @Dibley ; you sound like a wonderful person , just a rub in public and peck on the neck and your off or um we’re off to find someplace? I love it… nice and real like the wife! Do you guys rub, caress and fondle _discretely in public?

Sophief's avatar

@phil196662 No, he is at work all day and when he comes home we just like to be behind closed doors. We are very comfortable with each other and we are all we want.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Dibley It sounds like things are working out really well for you two now. :^)

phil196662's avatar

Sounds great to me @Dibley , at least the whole privacy thing doesn’t stop you from testing the furniture for ruggedness! lol

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