Can being in a relationship make you happy?
I have been reading a few questions on relationships, like “are some people meant to be alone” for example. It has got me thinking in a big way. The main trains of thought on this are the notion that someone else could make me happy, and the other is why I simply cannot have relationships. A little history. Traumatic childhood, then what I thought a naive belief that someone else could make my life better somehow. Many years of therapy and a new belief that I am responsible for my happiness. Happiness of course is a big subject. So I am using it in this context here for this purpose. I am not in a relationship because I find most people after a while become to me, tedious, demanding, and needy. I come from a long line of needy family members. But to assume all relationships are based on need, I think is skewed thinking? Some people say it is because “I have not yet met the right person”.
In therapy I learned and lived the idea that happiness was something you found within you, you certainly did not seek it in a partner. For example “If I am with a great guy I will be much happier”. Or “If someone loves me” I will be happier. Or even “I want to make this person everything and make them happier”. In a way I feel therapy polarized me to thinking that “No one can make me happy” only myself. I have moments when I am happy of course. But I would not term myself a happy person. If the answer lies in between how do you assimilate certain happiness with being with a person and being OK? About oneself. My question then is can someone else make you happier? Is my thinking skewed because I believe most people are needy? Do you believe there is a “right person” that can create some inkling of happiness?