General Question

vanausdr's avatar

How do you deal with regret?

Asked by vanausdr (146 points ) March 16th, 2010

Missed opportunities, a sense of inadequacy, fear that you cannot make up for what is gone or done, dwelling and dwelling on the past….I need some advice…how do you cope?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

26 Answers

Vunessuh's avatar

By not having any.
Embrace the mistakes and learn and grow from them.

TexasDude's avatar

I don’t have any.

dammit vunessuh, you beat me to the punch.

jaytkay's avatar

Let it go, ignore it, do better next time.

It’s not always easy, but accepting “the past is past” is a relief. Guaranteed.

Vunessuh's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I sowy. Here’s a GA to make you feel better.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

Let go or be dragged.

faye's avatar

Think of what you can do now and in the future. The past is gone, good if you learn something as said above, but then put bad memories in a box in the attic.

mollypop51797's avatar

I think about it. I regret it. I realize what I can do (if there is anything to do) that can change the situation. I get over it. I learn from it. I move on.

Coloma's avatar

I had a moment with a friend awhile back, mentioned I had no regrets about anything. Learn, let go, move on. She was shocked and said that it couldn’t be true! lolol

Well, it is…I am so at peace with everything in my life, past, present and hopefully future.

Every days a new beginning.
Regret is like martrydom, your gonna get burned if you cling to it.

skfinkel's avatar

Wallow for a while. Mourn and feel sorry for yourself. Then move on.

TexasDude's avatar

Thanks @Vunessuh, have some lurve too! :-*

HTDC's avatar

With repression. Let the regret sit down there and brew slowly for a few years. You’ll either forget about it/get over it or possibly end up with depressive/neurotic episodes.

Actually better not take my advice. You might turn out like me. Gulp

thriftymaid's avatar

It’s pretty much a waste of time. I try to make wise decisions and then not look back.

Zen_Again's avatar

Honestly, very poorly.

—I always say I have no regrets. I think I do, and lately I’ve been feeling rather down about some of them. Just saying. It’s not something I’d discuss here anyway, and I don’t even know why I’m writing this – or why I don’t edit and delete it.—

liminal's avatar

I like to think I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again, but I always seem to find a vestige of regret somewhere. Mind you, I don’t think this is right or wrong, it just kinda is. I do my best to be gentle with myself and learn, but some things will always be sad to me no matter how far I get from them.

FishGutsDale's avatar

Booze helps.

lillycoyote's avatar

By trying my very best to not allow myself to indulge in it. If you have made mistakes, and we all have, either learn from them or let them go. Wallowing in regret to no good end is a recipe for unhappiness if not bitterness and anger. So I don’t do it. I have regrets, I let go of them, and sometimes it isn’t easy, I will admit that, and then I move on. The alternative to not letting go and moving on is much more painful and self-destructive. And in the end, what can you do about things that are already past? Mistakes already made? Nothing, except learn from them or let them go.

Ltryptophan's avatar

regret is soul cancer.

lillycoyote's avatar

@liminal That is one of my very favorite “whatevers.” That I can and really should try to “pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.” I don’t know what to call it. A philosophy? Words to live by? It’s a little simplistic, but it’s from a Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire movie, I believe, so what the hell. Anyway, this one’s for you.

Pick Yourself Up

(From Swingtime)

Just_Justine's avatar

I try and apologise where I can if I have hurt someone. I try and forgive myself if I did not do something, because it is always easier when the time has gone almost like childbirth to make a different decision. Factors at certain times make us make different decisions. The other things I talk about maybe here, with a friend or anonymous person. I also pray too. :)

delam's avatar

Honestly I don’t deal with it very well. I punish myself until I’m too exhausted to continue.

liminal's avatar

@lillycoyote How fun, adore it! I learned it from Ella, here is one for you :)

CMaz's avatar

By regretting it.

bob_'s avatar

First I’m all “aww, man!”, and then I move on.

Seaminglysew's avatar

Regret it, but don’t give into it or let it concume you. Learn and move on knowing that you are wiser for the experience. Each day brings new oppotunities for happiness.

Aster's avatar

I forget about things until my Big Mouth Ex husband brings things up to my girls. Then they start in on me and make me feel guilty . So I can deal with my mistakes pretty darn well until The Jerk starts yakking at our daughters. And that makes me want to say stuff about him which are a heck of a lot worse than anything I’ve done wrong.

noraasnave's avatar

The recent discovery I made that erased all my regret is:

I am a pioneer. I wasn’t given a manual, I wasn’t given a map, I wasn’t given any instructions, except “Go West”.

I learn as I go, and the daily victory is that I don’t give up, I don’t quit getting back up again; I push on. If I stared at the details, examined an individual day, month, or year, it might look like I really, truly failed, but when I look at the bigger picture….I didn’t quit therefore I am doing well. In this crazy mixed up world, with all that life throws at me….I am amazed at the fighting spirit inside me that doesn’t let me lie down.

I, too, have looked at period of time in my life and thought: That could have went better…lol. But it is brought into perspective when I counter that thought with: It could have went much, much worse.

Give yourself the benefit of the doubt…you have to learn it as you go, and it isn’t easy.

Hope this helps!

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther