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Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

What are some of the things parents do that drive you crazy?

Asked by Simone_De_Beauvoir (38833 points ) September 24th, 2010

a. Name three things that drive you crazy when parents do it.
b. Explain what being annoyed about these things says about you.

I’ll start:
1. I hate when parents smoke around their children.
2. I hate when parents don’t teach their kids how to interact with other kids and are zero help to me when I try to teach my kid how to properly play or share together – why are you just standing there, with your mouth open? Are you and your kid idiots?! Gah
3. I hate when parents think TV for infants is educational.

These pet peeves point to the fact that I want kids to have rights (parents shouldn’t harm kids through smoking because the kids can do nothing to avoid it) and that I want parents to put in more effort into their parenting because I think I put a lot into mine.

NOT a question about why you hate kids or don’t want kids or how you can’t smell a diaper, etc.

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31 Answers

iamthemob's avatar

(1) I hate when parents ignore their screaming kids in public places.
(2) I hate when parents say “Don’t bother me” to their kids.
(3) I hate when parents feed their kids junk food.

I think this says that I don’t have children. I believe that the appropriate way to respond to a child who’s behaving poorly is to ignore it, until it interferes with my life. I believe parents should support everything that their kids do, but don’t realize how exhausting that can get. I think that feeding junk food to your kids is asking for them to develop health problems, but I have no idea the costs and time commitment associated with raising and feeding a child properly really can be.

YARNLADY's avatar

I hate when parents grab their kids by the hands or feet and swing them around. It looks dangerous to me.

I hate when they yell instructions (don’t touch that) over and over and then do nothing when the child disobeys

I especially hate when they believe that hitting a child is a good way to teach them to behave.

Aster's avatar

I hate it when a warmly dressed mother brings her baby into a cold grocery store in a baby carrier in nothing but a diaper. I cannot stand that!
I hate it when a mother puts soda in a bottle for her baby . Especially at bedtime.
I hate it when a parent picks up their toddler by one arm.
It makes me insane when a mother thinks her child need not see a dentist unless it has a toothache.

MissAusten's avatar

1. When parents use mean or hurtful language to their children. For example, “What are you, stupid?” or “You’re a brat!”
2. When parents ignore inappropriate behavior or blame their child’s behavior on someone or something else.
3. When parents don’t follow car safety regulations, like using booster seats until seat belts fit properly, letting young kids sit in the front seat with passenger airbags, or just not bothering to make the kids use seat belts.

I think this says that I don’t want kids to be hurt by their parents actions or lack thereof. Whether verbal (mean language) or physical (not using car seats/seat belts, when car accidents are such a high risk), decisions from parents that can cause long term pain and suffering drive me crazy. As for ignoring behavior, that’s a big pet peeve of mine because I work so hard to not let my kids get away with crap that I think parents who look away, make excuses, or are just too lazy to deal with their kids are a big part of why a lot of people now look down on parents in general. I feel like there is a lot less tolerance for kids acting like kids because too many parents let their kids get away with too much.

SuperMouse's avatar

It makes me crazy when parents insist that their year-old baby needs to be practicing letters and reading and writing and use flash cards and that they should invest in one of those Your Baby Can Read programs. Read to your child, that’s all a parent needs to do!

I can’t stand it when I see a parent say humiliate their child in public..

I hate it when parents use their kids as pawns to get even with, teach lessons to, or attempt to bribe other family members who love that kid.

What does this say about me? The first one says that I am taking my last classes toward a special education endorsement and I have studied enough to know that 90% of kids will learn to read! The second says that making a kid feel bad about himself is not an effective parenting strategy neither is humiliation. The last one shows that I have watched entirely too many parents use their kids in this way and I believe that it is very hurtful to the child, is manipulative, and teaches a horrible lesson.

MissAusten's avatar

@YARNLADY My kids love to be swung around like that! Or at least, they did before they got so freakin’ big. They never got hurt, but sometimes my poor back would suffer.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Sweet holy moly, it annoys me when I see parents of over weight kids dragging them to the buffet and allowing their children to stack food a mile high on their plate. I know more than not the kid will over eat but will still have food going to waste, as if it was nothing to them. They never think how somewhere somebody would kill for what they wasted.

I can’t stand it when parents fail to be parents and with a wink and a nod tell their kids to abstain from sex but in word only, with no teeth to even try to back it up. Then they will seem shocked to learn their little girl has an STD or being seen as the neighborhood bike; everyone gets a ride.

Can’t stand parents who smoke dope with their kids they are basically telling the kids you can’t enjoy life unless you are self-medicating and that in spite what the law says it must be OK I am your parent and I am doing it.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@SuperMouse I just today tried to talk out an acquaintance from getting those Your Baby Can Read dvds – what a scam and her kid’s like 4 months! She said ‘but it’s educational’ – that’s what they all say, including my oldest’s bio-dad who brought him something like an x-box for toddlers and I threw it out.

AmWiser's avatar

I dislike when parent are dressed to the tee, and their child has a snotty nose, dirty face, dirty clothes and hair not combed.Come on mom or dad it only takes a moment.

chyna's avatar

It makes me crazy when a parent makes excuses for the deeds their kids do, when they have bashed other parents for letting their kids do the same thing.
When they cave in and buy every single thing their kid asks for at a store, especially little junky toys they will never touch once they get it home.
When they let their kid eat uncontrollably all the junk food they want.
Edited to add:
I think that this says I would have been a terrible parent. Either I would be doing these same things and hating myself for doing it, or not letting my kid do the things all kids are doing or wanting and my kid would end up hating me.

jaytkay's avatar

Parents who shower their kids with toys, computers, phones, television, video games as a substitute for spending time with them.

Parents who air grievances and gripes in front of the kids – complaining about each other, money, friends, family, neighbors, the government, etc. I think they are breeding whiners instead of problem-solvers.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@chyna @jaytkay @AmWiser Please answer part B of the q, as well.

Aesthetic_Mess's avatar

1. They never take my feelings seriously, and usually just ignore them
2. They always do things that are serious like moving and treat it like it’s no big deal, and that I won’t react, and I have no thoughts about it.
3. They argue and get their children involved in their arguments.

This says that I’m never taken seriously, that my feelings don’t really matter, and that I’m usually stressed out about my parents. I’ve learned not to talk about feelings anymore. And I try hard not to show emotion.

Frenchfry's avatar

I hate when parents let there kid run wild in the grocery store.
I hate when they are swearing up a storm in front of the toddler, or my kid.
I hate it when kids are getting screamed at in the store. I feel so sorry for them.

jaytkay's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Please answer part B of the q, as well
“b. Explain what being annoyed about these things says about you.”

LOL I was bitching about complainers. Hmmmm. Projection?

Maybe a little. I am concerned about people (including myself sometimes) being passive consumers instead of active contributors to society.

We need more critical thinking and problem solving to make the world better, we don’t need more whiners.

kenmc's avatar

1) I get annoyed when either of my parents get angry with no reason.
2) I dislike how much my parents drink.
3) My folks swear a lot. That shouldn’t be around kids.

The aforementioned bothering me shows how I’m a total hypocrite. I drink and swear more than one person should. I also deal with my own anger issues.

So yeah, I turned out to be everything I hated in my parents.

Except for one major thing: My folks have a placidity about themselves. I refuse to be so stagnant.

muppetish's avatar

1. When they say ”I know what ____ wants.” instead of consulting the child.
2. When they lie because they think it’s cute or telling the truth requires more effort (ie. “How do light bulbs work?” / “There are a bunch of fireflies in there and they light up when you flip the switch!” It irks me so much when my friends tell those sorts of thing to their nephews.)
3. Parents who police gender roles on their children.
4. Yelling at their kids to stop crying.

What does this say about me…? I don’t have children, but there are pieces from my childhood, and observations I have noted, that have never settled well with me. I think it is detrimental when parents limit their children especially when that inhibition involves stifling the voice of the child.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

1. Parents who let their kids loose in a store.
It says to me parents have a false sense of security and trust in others just because they are among store employees or “like shoppers”. Store employees aren’t trained and don’t want to be responsible or liable for customers’ kids.

Parents who give a tantrum throwing kid lip service instead of removing them.
Talking to your kid like you’re negotiating with an adult in a public place is useless. We all know you’re talking just to be heard by other adults, you want us to think you’re a reasonable and modern thinking parent. Get grip, get your kid and vacate the f****ing building. Thank you.

Parents who create a false of prosperity for their kids
Saying yes to whatever your kids wants doesn’t make you a better parent, doesn’t show your love for your kid not to do without. What it shows is that you indulge your kid’s expectations, often times very expensive ones to where the one day you can’t meet those expections then your kid shows their monstrous spoiled side and break your heart.

These things say I’d be a hardass of a parent and my kids would hate me because, you know- I’d also make them go to bed at 8pm until Jr. High level.

DominicX's avatar

I hate when parents think that getting below an A+ on an assignment is “failing”. There’s nothing wrong with wanting your kids to do well, but I know some kids who got yelled at for getting a B on a test or something. Ridiculous.

I hate when parents force their kids to participate in sports and activities that the kids don’t want to do. Yes, sometimes kids are too young to know what they want to do, but if they decide they don’t like something, they shouldn’t have to do it. I have a neighbor whose kids have almost no free time because they’re enrolled in so many things. One of her kids was so stressed out by it that he, as a 12-year-old, had to cry in front of her about it before she finally allowed him to drop one of the things he was enrolled in.

I hate when parents try to live through their children. I hate when parents enforce gender stereotypes on their kids. I hate when parents try to “change” their homosexual child, etc.

I’m not sure exactly what it says about me; it definitely shows that I value freedom. I was given a lot of freedom growing up and I hate seeing in stifling rigid environments. I don’t like overbearing, domineering, pushy parents. I guess that goes along with freedom as well. I also don’t like closed-mindedness and selfishness: choosing your child’s activities and forcing them on the child, freaking out because your child isn’t doing exactly what you want them to do, etc.

diavolobella's avatar

@Neizvestnava Parents letting their kids loose in a store is a pet peeve of mine. There is a sign I’ve seen in a couple of stores that always makes me laugh. It reads “Unaccompanied children will be given an espresso and a free puppy.” :)

Trillian's avatar

1. I have a problem with parents who try to live vicariously through the cild, expecially the whole “Beauty Pageant” thing.
2. Parents who smoke in the house or car with their children.
3. Parents who put on a show in public with their children, looking all around to see if anyone is listening while all the time not really paying any attention to the child.

Austinlad's avatar

There were plenty of things my folks did when I was a kid that made me meshuga, but now that I don’t have them anymore, I miss their doing it all.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Austinlad What of parents you see around you?

RANGIEBABY's avatar

I hate it when parents don’t get up and remove a screaming child from a restaurant.
I hate it when parents put a child in time out and either forget about them or don’t attend to the situation properly.
I hate it when parents think their chlld’s bad behavior is cute.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Trillian @RANGIEBABY Please answer part b of the question.

liminal's avatar

1. I hate it when parents romanticize and sexualize young children.

2. When parents treat their children as equals developmentally (I don’t mean existentially).

3. When parents criticize other parents choices in front of the children. (Which goes along with @Simone_De_Beauvoir‘s #2.)

This should tell you that I value childhood and children having time and space to explore who they are without adult overlays. This points to my belief that parents need the support and encouragement of each other because doing it alone is hard.

Trillian's avatar

Ah… missed that bit. You want me to psychoanalyze myself? Hmmmm.
I guess mybe that I value freedom of thought. I allowed my kids to make their own choices in religion, clothing, hair, etc. I insisted that they make informed decisions, then live with the consequences. A child forced into the idea that she is only worth something if she is considered “beautiful” is, imo, ruined for life. Her values and self image have been externally imposed and twisted. And she has no say in the matter. In a Helsinki syndrome reaction, she then becomes an accomplice in her own ruin.
Smoking around kids indicates a self centeredness and lack of acknowledgment that the children are deserving of the same consideration one would give to another adult. They are in a sense, objectifying children, treating them as if they are not “real” Maybe I was treated this way as a child and am still holding on to resentment, or maybe I was treated this way as a child and determined NOT to repeat it.
I think my last stems from the same feeling. They are putting on a show and using the child as a prop. I can’t imagine why ts should anger me as much as it does unless I myself am an ex prop.
I can state that I knew the concept for the word “hypocrisy” long before I knew the actual word. And was contemptuous. By the age of six or seven, I held most of the memebrs of my parents church in contempt.

RANGIEBABY's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Sorry about that.
l. I would and did take my child out of the restaurant if they were disturbing other people.
2. I believe if your are trying to teach a child something, you need to follow through. I don’t like to waste my time unnecessarily.
3. I don’t think bad manners are ever cute and for my childs sake I would make them aware of that.

NaturallyMe's avatar

1. I hate it when parents don’t take charge or do something about children screaming and throwing tantrums in restaurants or shopping malls or any enclosed public place really.
2. I hate parents smoking in the presence of their kids too, for obvious reasons as you mentioned. My husband also has slight asthma which i suspect he has because both of his parents smoked around him when he was growing up and that just pisses me off.
3. It annoys me when parents let their children believe obviously false facts. (i couldn’t think of anything else right now, and this point came to mind) I’m not talking about santa or anything like that, but here’s an example of what i mean…when i was younger i was for some reason talking to a younger girl (i don’t know her age but she could speak already) about buck. She believed that the buck’s horns were it’s ears. I told her it’s not so, and that they had horns AND ears. She asked her mother about it and her mother confirmed that she was right. I don’t see the point of this but it annoyed me.

I don’t know what points number 1 and 3 say about me.

Coloma's avatar

I hate parents who are so lackadaisical and mealy mouthed that they allow their children to run the show.

I once had neighbors whose little boy was completely out of control and they just stood there saying ’ Oh, Kevin, Oh Kevin’...ad nauseum. lol

These are the parents that are so inept that they can’t get the kid to go to bed, deal with constant tantrums and allow the kid to manipulate the hell out of them on an onging basis.

Neurotics raising kids, baaad news. lol

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

When a parent is more concerned about theirself than the child that they created and opted to keep in their life. We are all human, but there is a balance that needs to be maintained when taking on that responsibility.

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