Social Question

IBERnineD's avatar

Why is it when ever I look bad, that's when guys seem to notice me?

Asked by IBERnineD (7248 points ) September 29th, 2010

Ladies, I’m not sure if you have this issue, but my friend and I were discussing it earlier. For some reason whenever we are looking our worst, wearing sweatpants, no make-up, and our hair is atrocious that is when guys decide to talk to us.
Men, Is this some weird phenomenon? Can you sense that we don’t look our best and like it? Or is this just something my friend and I encounter?

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27 Answers

kenmc's avatar

Its hot when chicks dress down. It shows confidence.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

You might get better answers directing this question to men.

Frenchfry's avatar

I have notice people come to the door when I look like shit or not dressed. Seems men have radar. Some like the grungie look.

Mom2BDec2010's avatar

Its happened to me plenty of times and I’ve never understood it either.

mrentropy's avatar

Can’t answer for other guys™ but for me it’s about being real. If a woman is toffed up to the nines with fancy clothes, hair, and make up there’s no telling what’s under there when the morning comes.

But if I can talk to a plain Jane and think, “I would like to wake up to her for the next thirty years,” well, that would be special.

Believe it or not, some women are more attractive when they think they look bad.

wundayatta's avatar

I’m similar to @mrentropy. If you’re hot, I’ll most likely be too intimidated to talk to you. If you look like an ordinary person, then I figure you may not have an attitude about talking to someone like me. You girls are just more approachable when you look ordinary.

I think it works the other way around, too. I think it is said that the women have to make the men feel like they are making the moves, but really, it’s the woman who takes the first step, often without even being totally conscious how she is doing it. In any case, when you like a guy, you have subtle ways of letting him know you are interested. Of course, if the guy is me, I’ll totally miss the signals. I don’t get that kind of thing.

I think that when you dress yourselves up, your attitude about who is suitable changes in subtle ways. Your dressing up makes you think up above where you would normally be thinking. The kind of guy you will accept is different. You may be shy and humble inside, but when you dress up, it changes you. It just does.

IBERnineD's avatar

@mrentropy What a great answer! :)

@wundayatta “I think that when you dress yourselves up, your attitude about who is suitable changes in subtle ways.” That makes sense.

poisonedantidote's avatar

No makeup is a plus to me, i like natural. Messed up hair is also a plus, I dont know why, I just like it. I also like short scruffy hair too. Also, when I see a girl dressed up with full makeup and jewelery and things, I get the impression they are vain or maybe not too smart.

As for sweatpants and such, I really don’t care, girls would look hot even if they where dressed in a bin bag or something. in fact, some fashion shows have done just that.

arturodiaz's avatar

@poisonedantidote hear ya! Definitively true

Blackberry's avatar

All of these answers are correct. Life isn’t a fashion show, and most people realize going out with a t shirt and jeans in fine compared to a button up shirt, slacks and dress shoes.

bob_'s avatar

Maybe the messy look works on you? Post pictures and we can tell you. We’re selfless helpers like that.

Also, it could be that “simple” clothes make men focus on you, not on what you’re wearing.

IBERnineD's avatar

Well it’s not like when I’m not in sweatpants I am all dressed up. It’s more like casual/I’ve taken a shower look.
And @bob_ I didn’t take a picture of myself today! I’ll PM you a no make-up look if you like.

bob_'s avatar

Eh, sure.

* plays cool, fails *

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

I think it’s for them to see the real you. Maybe they dont like girls with cacked make up.

Jabe73's avatar

Women may seem more approachable this way. That is not a factor for me however, rather it’s a women’s demeanor, facial expressions and an overall sense (that I can’t explain) when it comes to me, not how they are dressed. I can’t explain it but I can usually just “sense” if a woman would like me or not but I rarely do not just talk to women I do not know anyway unless there is a reason for it (coming from a somewhat shy guy).

Hobosnake's avatar

Well, in all honesty, you might be overdoing your makeup.

In my case, however, I know I judge girls terribly quickly according to how they look and talk. If I think a girl is trying too hard, it’s a major turnoff. Of course I’ve been proven terribly wrong at times and it’s a really terrible habit, but it’s the truth. Sometimes the more human-looking girl comes across as more relatable or respectable.

Discobitch's avatar

Classy dressing, make-up and hair that is considered beautiful by females seldom if never is considered so by males.

That, and the approachability comment of Jabe73 also makes sense.

Discobitch's avatar

Also, there is makeup and there is makeup. You can have your makeup done in original ways. That might be attractive and attract interesting people.

But there is also the bimbo way of doing so. Having regular makeup and a regular dress will make you look 20 IQ points more stupid and far more agressive.
Guys do not like dealing with omg-girls.

arturodiaz's avatar

If you want to get boys attention, dress simple, not dressy-fancy-I-need-a-boyfriend, and most importantly make sure you smell good, and by smelling good I just mean a scent not half the tuttifrutti bottle. If you dress fancy maybe well tell you something but we will not be interested. At least my way of thinking is, ok, shes wearing a nice dress on a normal day, so I should tell her she looks pretty cause she is expecting it, but Ill just do that, I wont ask you out.

IBERnineD's avatar

@Hobosnake and @Discobitch I get the whole putting too much make-up on, I have seen many girls make that mistake. In fact I know first hand since I sell and apply make-up on others on a daily basis. So, the make-up I wear on a daily basis, to it’s full extent is what you see in my profile picture.

When I say I look bad, I mean greasy hair, dirty clothes, etc. I look like a full on homeless person.

Discobitch's avatar

Well, in that case: they feel less intimidated by you when they see you like that. They get the “poor girlie” response that tells them that they have more chances since you’re poor, homeless or otherwise pathetic.

IBERnineD's avatar

@Discobitch Great Answer, that was awesome

Blackberry's avatar

“or otherwise pathetic.”

I laughed out loud.

le_inferno's avatar

I think girls are way more approachable when they look like crap. Hot girls are intimidating, especially all dolled up and such.

mr_universe's avatar

yes girls are intimidating when they dress up, But often i’m wondering when at school if those are the girls who are often without guy friends or a boyfriend, my girlfriend likes to only dress up on occasion, but watching movies and other things of that sort she’s just plain jane. But even at school they’re girls who dress up like they’re going out to dinner or even clubbing to a point. Or could it be that those are the type of girls who seem to seek attention? But obviously with this question, guys are too intimated to look at girls when they seek attention.

mr_universe's avatar

BTW there is a comic book called Y:the last man, by which the last man on earth lives in america and hordes of women are after him because he’s the last man… anywho there’s a young lady in the comic book who used to be a dancer and just had her breast implants b4 the incident and mentions how pointless it is since all the men are dead. Her job after was a garbage woman.

So i’m wondering, dressing down means maybe all the men are dead in your world? LOL please don’t be offended by this comment girls :)

choreplay's avatar

Approachability, thats it. But it’s not like we are aiming lower, we’re not, we see that your attractive.

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