Social Question

jlelandg's avatar

(Creativity encouraged) What is a fitting death for vehicle thieves?

Asked by jlelandg (3536points) November 17th, 2010

My crappy but pricey motor scooter was just stolen. Normally jlelandg wouldn’t ride a motor scooter, but I’ve just had horrible pain and problems walking, and am currently waiting for my school semester to finish to go to the doctor, until then I had crappy scooter. To feel better, I’m hoping my community-mates can cheer me up by telling me great ways for ANY vehicular thief to die.

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15 Answers

rangerr's avatar

I’d just like to know why they have to die..

zenvelo's avatar

while I don’t believe in the death penalty, I would force them to run along side the scooter while it is being ridden down the street. In their bare feet.

jlelandg's avatar

@rangerr…because they do dammit. I’m not asking you to physically kill them, just take it as a quick and easy creative writing assignment.

You know what, you don’t have to kill them: just put them in pain…think about if you were in pain and they stuck their finger in the wound:...what evil would you wish upon them?

@zenvelo again, maybe not as violent as I like, but I appreciate the input.

Kardamom's avatar

Maybe being run over back and forth by some dude in a silver unitard riding a segue, while a mime waves buh-bye at him.

zenvelo's avatar

@jlelandg did I mention the broken glass? on the asphalt? and if they don’t keep up they get dragged.

Ltryptophan's avatar

Turn them into this

jlelandg's avatar

WHEEEEEE @ltryptophan! yes yes! Except I already consider them shit.

ucme's avatar

Car-diac arrest. Hee hee, god i’m so creative :¬)

meiosis's avatar

Feel for them. In the dark recesses of their mind they know they’re low-life thieving scum. That’s got to hurt.

And then give them Ebola.

BarnacleBill's avatar

It quits running on them during rush hour, as they’re merging into traffic in front of a semi.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Wildebeest stampede.

anothermember's avatar has a pretty awesome video series under anti-auto theft devices. Lots of swearing and stick gore though.

My addition would be slowly crushed over 10 hours.

filmfann's avatar

@Ltryptophan I have eated that!

Perhaps their hitting a speed-bump, ejecting them, and their landing in a wood chipper.

john65pennington's avatar

Sorry, but the theft of your scooter is just a property crime and not punishable my death.

wundayatta's avatar

They should be forced to ride a scooter continuously through the desert, blindfolded (so they never know when they’ll hit a bump that throws them off) and with no food until they drop. If they touch their feet to the ground they get electrical shocks of increasing strength—finally sufficient to put them to death.

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