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Aesthetic_Mess's avatar

Is it true that opposites attract?

Asked by Aesthetic_Mess (7887points) December 2nd, 2010

That if you are fun-loving and free spirited you’ll probably be attracted to someone who is like, uptight and methodical. That was just an example.
I hear people complain that they don’t have anything in common with the person they are dating, but if opposites attract, should that matter?

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11 Answers

erichw1504's avatar

I believe so, just ask my wife.

ucme's avatar

It ain’t fiction, it’s a natural fact :¬)

marinelife's avatar

I and my mate have a significant number of things in common although our outer personalities are very different.

I think that it is just a saying.

IO think for long-term compatibility you need to share core values and some interests.

iamthemob's avatar

I think what appears initially or from the outside to be “opposite” is actually “complimentary.” ;-)

wundayatta's avatar

Nope. People are more attracted to others that share a number of interests or preferences. I mean, think about it. Would you want to live with someone who hated your music, looked down on the movies you like, thought your work was irresponsible, etc, etc? When we find mates, I believe we are attracted by overt similarities. Even then, those similarities often are not enough to support much of a relationship.

This is especially true, I believe, if sex is the similarity that attracts you. At first, I’m sure, you have a great time, but soon that gets tired and then you are left with a person who you can’t really stand. You accuse them of being shallow, only into the sex, and you take off.

There has to be more to the attraction than one thing, be it sex or taste in music. If you can’t improve on that one thing, your relationship won’t last. However, if you have enough similarities and interests, you can support a relationship with someone who you might hate if they didn’t have the elements you like.

Coloma's avatar

On an unhealthy level yes.

On a healthy level, no.

Common interests, relational style, communication style, energy levels, intellectual commonalities, values, morals etc. are the things that healthy, fully integrated, realized, people connect over.

Being the free spirited type I have always attracted the more introverted and serious types of personalities that find some vicarious thrills in my expressions, but..I am not attracted back, anymore. lol

I have found the best matches for me are extroverted males with a strong sense of self, great sense of humor and similar orientation to life approach.

I certainly don’t want a carbon copy of myself but, I do know that similarity is much more likely to make for a longterm and healthy relationship rather than opposites.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

It’s my excuse for dating “Psycho Bob” XD

thekoukoureport's avatar

Yes like stupid magnets….Drawn together even though you can’t figure out why. But I will say this, the last twenty years have been many things, but boring with my diametrically opposed bride is not one of them.

Don’t think I would trade it for the world either.

Paradox's avatar

Not true for me. I seem to only connect with very few types of people and I usually connect with the ones who are the most like me. Opposites attract then they attack, ha!

ducky_dnl's avatar

I am completely attracted to both opposite people and people that have a few things in common with me. I want a mixture of both. I’m not gregarious nor do I like peoples attention all of the time. I have a horrible sense of equilibrium and zero hand eye coordination. This makes me like out going sort of athletic guys. I read a lot and I like to have deep conversations, so I also like intelligent guys. So for me, it’s a balance between both opposite and common interests.

Garebo's avatar

A Sagittarius and Taurus, or a Capricorn and Gemini are going to have a lot of work to keep the fires burning, if any.
Perhaps people adapt to each other well enough, despite characteristics that are contradictory to their intrinsic nature, values and attitudes. It just becomes so much more difficult to have mutual fulfillment, and it is often a lot less refreshing.

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