Social Question

6rant6's avatar

Do you think people see you as less emotional and less caring than you think you are?

Asked by 6rant6 (13697points) January 6th, 2011

Some answers posted to another question started me thinking about this. Several women described their mothers in terms that I will generalize as cold and uncaring.

I’m not saying that these specific posters didn’t have the coldest and most uncaring mothers imaginable, but it got me to wondering if mothers might have see themselves differently. And if they might have explanations to offer for what comes off that way.

Anyone feel they might be misjudged in this manner?

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20 Answers

classykeyser's avatar

Yes, if only because I’m blunt about everything I say.

Winters's avatar

I don’t think they do, I know they do, and I’ll dance this little masquerade until I get bored with it.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Yes. It happens a lot.

classykeyser's avatar

And you never disappoint anyone. In fact, you surprise them. Ol’ Vlad the Impaler didn’t give a fuck, and cried over his woman.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Others can think what they want.My actions speak for themselves.
When it comes to my mother,the things I believed about her as a child when I didn’t get my way and the things I know about her now are worlds apart. She was truly a warm,loving,beautiful person;)

wundayatta's avatar

Most people seem to think more of me or my abilities than they would if they really knew me. Or rather, from what they say it seems this way. Maybe they are all lying and saying nice things about me and secretly thinking the truth. I don’t know why they bother. It always makes me feel better to have my sense of myself confirmed. It is really discomfiting to think they could be right.

Well, that’s how I think when I’m depressed and it’s my default state of being. Honestly, it’s really bad and I’ve learned that I shouldn’t think about myself or judge myself or think about anyone else judging me. As soon as I think about it, I say things like what I said in the first paragraph. It’s not good for me to see myself like that.

I really want to try to answer the question, but I know where it will lead, and I don’t think I’m capable of taking an objective view of myself. So, I think I will retire from the battle field, stop following this question, and hope that maybe next time, I’ll know better than to take the bait.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Holy moly, all the time. Because I let the logic rule the day over knee jerk emotion they think I don’t care or care less over certain things because I don’t seem as rattled over it as they think I should be.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’m not really sure this has ever happened before, but I have to agree with @Hypocrisy_Central. I tend to be very logical and I try to avoid knee jerk reactions, I try to think things through before reacting emotionally – and sometimes that gets me pegged as cold or uncaring.
On the other hand, sometimes my emotions get the best of me at the worst of times. So, it isn’t always true.

zenvelo's avatar

I am a low key person, don’t get too animated. My girlfriend asks me why I am distant when I don’t get all excited about something. And she questions if I care, but then I have to point out all the ways I have and am supporting her. She still wishes I were more demonstrative.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I think I kind of seem bi-polar, honestly. Sometimes people describe me as very aloof, other times they say I’m too emotional. So… I really have no idea.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@DrasticDreamer I think that’s normal. Honestly.

marinelife's avatar

Yes, I am perceived as much tougher than I am. I hope I am perceived as caring though.

JLeslie's avatar

When I feel people misperceive me it gets me frustrated and I get emotional, sometimes angry, and then those people generally feel I am proving in that moment that I am indeed a whack job. Fuck them.

But, most people describe me as easy going.

Brian1946's avatar

I’m open with my feelings with most of my friends offline, so I know they don’t see me that way.

I’m not sure how I’m perceived online.

Rarebear's avatar

Actually people will misjudge me the other way. They think I’m caring when I really could give a crap.

Blackberry's avatar

They’re right, I really don’t care, but that is because I see their problems as trivial. You’re sad because you couldn’t find a dress? How can I be sympathetic to that lol….

YARNLADY's avatar

Only on the computer, where communication is so sketchy.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I believe some do, definitely. However, I think they care when I don’t (like @Rarebear says) and don’t think I care when I do. People aren’t good at reading me.

Pandora's avatar

I know in my case my mom could be cold but I wouldn’t say she was uncaring. She just viewed showing emotion to be a weakness. She still does. But I know she cares for us all, only she doesn’t want to show it. I think my grandmother and my dad where the only ones she ever felt safe enough around to ever put down her guard. She was close to us until we hit our teen years. Never helped that she would say (frequently) that she never wanted children, only my dad did. There is a long history as to why she was the way she was but it was no comfort to growing children.
As to how my kids see me? We have our ups and downs but we are very close. Not like the relationship I had with my mom. I guess its because I have a little bit of her and a little bit of my dad in me. I missed not being close with my mom and was determined that my kids would know that I wouldn’t shut them out ever.

Shegrin's avatar

My son likes to randomly post on FB that his mom is awesome. I think I really am as warm and caring as I see myself. How many 15-year-old boys do you know that say things like that?

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