General Question

choreplay's avatar

What does this body language mean?

Asked by choreplay (6297points) February 4th, 2011

I have studied body language extensively for business but have never run across an answer about this action. When I begin to interact with a female in any context and let’s say they have a low cut top on, and as they begin to talk they adjust it up to make sure things are covered more. Do they feel uncomfortable around me? Most of the time I’m not thinking twice about it and than they do that adjustment thing like I’m looking. Don’t get it????

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15 Answers

Cruiser's avatar

You are making them uncomfortable and they ARE covering up because of some reason that you apparently unintentionally doing or saying to make them feel the need to “adjust” their exposure to you and their “space”.

Do you stare down there?? Are you too close? What is the nature of your conversations? Do you speak harshly or loudly? One other thing is you could have a reputation that precedes you and these woman are just preparing themselves??

misstrikcy's avatar

I agree with Cruiser. Highly likely that you are giving a look or signal (albeit unintentionally) that is being picked up on straight away by the female.

Make sure you keep eye contact when interacting, and try not to let your eyes drift (downwards especially).
It only takes a fleeting glance (and no, you may not be aware you have done it) but she’ll spot it immediately.
You could always ask a work colleague (someone trusted, that you get on with and is going to be honest with you) if they have noticed this, or ask them if they can observe you (to see if they can spot what you may be doing).

You imply this happens a lot, so it’s really good you have noticed and are trying to do something about it.

LuckyGuy's avatar

It could also simply be that she is not wearing the right size bra and feels the needs to adjust herself periodically. You might not be a factor at all.

choreplay's avatar

Well I grew up in the northeast and now live in the South, might be part of it. One circumstance was a long running friend who was a girl, we could talk about anything and it was all benign, but she would do it occasionally. Ya, I do want to figure it out because it’s a misread if they think I’m focused on that. I’m not like that, but I do agree I come across very different.

For instance in college I ran news papers in the morning. One morning I realized this girl had her blinds set wrong and was basically putting on a show for all the guys that walked by her window. I didn’t make sense to me why a couple of guys were lingering by her window a couple of days earlier, but then it made sense. Well being like I am, I swung back by in the afternoon and let her know what was going on. Let me tell you she walked a wider circle around me than anyone else. So, I know I come across different than I intend.

bobbinhood's avatar

@Season_of_Fall You said that you had a friend that you talked to often and would adjust things occasionally. If this is the normal context of your general experience (speaking to women often and they only occsionally adjust themselves), it might simply be that you happen to be conversing with them when they notice that things have shifted. I wouldn’t worry about it if it’s not a consistent pattern.

Cruiser's avatar

Also since you say you study body language, aside from them adjust their top, what are the other body cues they are giving off? Those should tell you more of how they are responding to their interaction with you and how they are feeling being there with you. Are these formal interactions or more casual?

choreplay's avatar

The interactions were casual, some in social settings and some in work settings. Most context were benign, I’m certainly not asking about situations where I was intentionally flirting, In that situation this would be an obvious read, I’m talking about situations where I’m disengaged from any interest. Must be a misread on their part, no other strong uncomfortable body in most cases, or like @misstrikcy said unintentional eye crossing those areas. The benign context situations were the ones throwing me.

@bobbinhood, thanks, I’m not uptight about it was just always curious.

Austinlad's avatar

@Cruiser and @misstrikcy may be right, but I believe it’s equally possible for a woman to do that sort of adjustment instinctively and automatically, that it’s simply that she feels uncomfortable around some men (especially ones she doesn’t know well).

choreplay's avatar

My initial curiosity was whether it was discomfort of primping. Sounds unanimously discomfort with situation for some reason, whether misread or misstep on my part. It’s like hair touching, sometimes that’s discomfort and not necessarily positive.

thorninmud's avatar

Are you tall?

misstrikcy's avatar

Both @Austinlad and @worriedguy make good points about making simple adjustments to clothing. This happens, I do it myself. But actively ‘covering up’ in a situation would suggest that it is a personal discomfort, rather than the physical discomfort of the clothing being in the wrong place.
@Season_of_Fall Have you ever approached your long running female friend and asked what her thoughts were on this issue?

choreplay's avatar

@misstrikcy, I forget, maybe. I’ll ask next time it happens.

I’m average height for a male 5’ 9”

misstrikcy's avatar

@Season_of_Fall yeah do, it may help.

Regarding the girl with the dodgy blinds… I wouldn’t worry too much in this situation. Highly likely many girls would react in a similar manner. Even though you told her what was happening, she may have thought you were peeking too, and found that extremely embarrassing (maybe creepy, depending on how you broke the news to her).
If I knew someone had seen me with my kit off then I would probably give them a wide birth too.. for a few days at least.

glenjamin's avatar

maybe the girls are a little self-conscious and don’t want to come off as trampy or sleazy? maybe they are trying to make a good impression on you? This could be due to a vibe you are sending out if it happens more than one would normally expect. Are you usually well-dressed in these situations? Do you have any woman friends you can ask about this?

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