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elman25's avatar

Is getting married at a young age a bad thing?

Asked by elman25 (159points) April 15th, 2008 from iPhone

I’m 19 and my girlfriend is 18 we’ve been toghether for 3 years and are very in love with eachother. I know all of her flaws and grumpy attitudes and she knows mine.. The topic of marriage comes up from time to time and I just brush it off by say ” MOT untill we graduate college” but I sometimes I just think it would be great but then again maybe not so great! I know were in love thats not at question. Its just is of too soon to tell or what? How old were u wen u got married ( if ur married)

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7 Answers

crawz's avatar

I got married when I was 19, and now I’m 26 and still happily married. So given that, It totally depends on your situation. With both of you being so young, there are still some major changes you are both yet to encounter, like choosing your career. Don’t ignore love, but make sure you both figure out what you want to do for the rest of your lives. You might find out that the both of you are headed on different paths.

wildflower's avatar

I didn’t get married until I was 29 – of course could have something to do with me being convinced I was never going to do it until sometime mid-20’s…..
Either way, I’m glad I didn’t make this commitment until I’d had a chance to figure things out for myself – I won’t be crying over spilt milk or lost opportunities…(well I probably will, but I know I have no reason to)

kevbo's avatar

Never been married, so you’re just getting an opinion.

I think it’s easy to say that you don’t even know who you are yet, you should wait until you’re older and more mature, whatever. Anymore, marriage is pretty much a crapshoot at any age (if you go by divorce statistics). And people of all ages marry for less than ideal reasons, including money, security, pressure, etc., so there are a lot of marriages that exist where people aren’t happy, which shouldn’t be the case.

I do know, though, that love by itself doesn’t make a relationship easy. A degree of compatibility really greases the wheels after they’ve been turning long enough to make you tired. That and some big picture perspective about what things you love about the other person when they’re not exactly honoring your preferences for mundane but essential things like keeping house, spending time with family (or not), spending money (or not), etc.

I think most married people would agree with you that marriage is great, but then again maybe not so great. It’s probably both, (and I probably shouldn’t be answering this question).

Trustinglife's avatar

I’m 27 – and not married, but I’m writing anyway to respond to your question about marrying young.

All I can say is that when I look back to the self I was when I was 19, I know I have grown tremendously since then. I’m not necessarily saying NOT to marry your sweetheart now. I don’t think it could hurt to wait, though. What’s the rush?

I watched my older brother get married last year. He had been with his now wife for 4+ years, and what struck me about the two of them was how settled they were in their decision to be together. If they knew about Fluther, they wouldn’t have been asking about whether they should get married or not. Two years earlier, yes; when they got married, not even close. It’s been inspiring to witness their clarity. And now a baby’s on the way!

So I invite you to ask yourself, What do you REALLY want in your relationship – what do you want it to feel like between you? And would proposing now help us get closer to where we want to be together as a couple? Or would it complicate things?

SuperMouse's avatar

I have one word for you: WAIT!!!

mzgator's avatar

I would wait. Some, but very few marriages will work out when you marry so young. There is no rush. You will not even be the same person at twenty five. You will have grown and matured so much it will amaze you. When you are thirty I think you really “get it.” you understand so much about who you are and where you are going.

You want to be with this person for the rest of your life. Take the steps to make sure you are building a good foundation for this to be a possibility. Get an education. Get a good job. Save money. Your married life will start out much easier if you have a good basis to start from.

I got married at eighteen to my highschool sweetheart. It seemed so romantic. We realized at twenty one, we should not have been married and got divorced. I married the live of my life when I was twenty four. We have been together sixteen years. At twenty four I was ready for the commitment.

jayare23's avatar

Since when is there is huge discrimination on the youth? Lets talk about how over half of married couples today get divorced. Lets talk about the celebrities that older people want to look and be like who go through spouses like hot cakes. Dont bash the youth for a trend of divorce and separation that YOU started. Getting married is about love. NOT AGE. Yea, finances, housing, all that stuff is important, no doubt. Does it come before the sanctity and companionship of that special one? NO.

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