General Question

Calliecati2000's avatar

How does someone disappear, permanently, because of DV and threats?

Asked by Calliecati2000 (4points) March 14th, 2011

I was in a DV abuse situation. My abuser only got 30 days in jail. And has threatened to find me to finish the job. I am needing to disappear, permanently. And become someone else. How do that ?

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9 Answers

Lightlyseared's avatar

First thing to do is report the threats to the police. They might not act on them but if you have every threat documented with them it will come in handy later.

After that there are many charities that are able to offer help and support for people in your situation and are able to provide shelter. This website provides details that may be useful.

marinelife's avatar

Here is a how to.

Calliecati2000's avatar

How does a DV survivor keep an abuser from finding them after he serves his 30 day jail time. And he knows what state I got PFA in?

Lightlyseared's avatar

Get an unlisted phone number.
Use a post office box rather than your home address.
Apply to your state’s address confidentiality program, a service that confidentially forwards your mail to your home.
Cancel your old bank accounts and credit cards, especially if you shared them with your abuser. When you open new accounts, be sure to use a different bank.

copied and pasted from earlier link

BarnacleBill's avatar

Start by not posting pictures of yourself on social media sites, like this one.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

I would talk to a local abuse hotline or shelter and ask them – they’ll have much better info than we will.

Self_Advocate's avatar

Be VERY careful about the Address Confidentiality programs. They are like a power tool but without instructions, nor the power cord. What they never tell you is that nobody who needs to know about the program knows about it. You will spend much energy thinking of ways your abuser can find you and developing ways to use the ACP to avoid it. Then you will spend huge enrgies advocating for yourself because the DV counselors have had no training on it.

For example, I moved away and entered the ACP to avoid death by stalker. I called the utility companies and asked for an anonymous name account, knowing that accounts are public record and end up on search engines in 60 days. When these requests were unsuccessful, I asked the DV center counselors and they did not know. I suggested we call our state regulatory board for utilities to see if they had any ideas. The DV counselor said, “What is that?” From her desk, I dialed them. Within seconds, I was on line with the top people at the utilities that would honor the reasonable request.

PHONE: Even unlisted numbers can be found by hacking or just asking. If your stalker knows your identifying information: SS# and birthdate, they can usually talk the company rep into giving information.

DRIVERS LICENSE: It took me two months and intervention from the head of the Department of Transportation to get a DL renewal with my safe ACP address. DL addresses are public record.

LIBRARY CARDS: It took a month of huge effort and assistance from a county commissioner to get them to realize I am a supporting member of their community without any documentation of such. I finally got a library card – after a month of self-advocacy.

CAR INSURANCE: It is a felony to misrrepresent the garaged address to an insurance company but when I told State Farm my real address, they recited it to an unidentified caller upon her request (my friend did a test for me). I had to move AGAIN and only give State Farm my ACP address. But the stalker probably could have also bribed any State Farm office worker to give my address also. State farm turned me into a felon – just to survive!

VOTING: Althoug the state ACP statute is very clear on voting procedures for ACPs, the election offices chose to remain ignorant and out of compliance. It took months and calls to the governor’s office with complaints that I am being denied the right to vote to get the elections offices to comply with current state law.

ELECTED OFFICIALS: One cannot call elected officials if you are not in their jurisdiction. But calls to them are public record, including your address. Providing your ACP address puts you out of their jurisdiction. You become a non-entity.

MAKING POLICE REPORTS: Again, your address is public record. And although the state law exempts your address from public record, if law enforcement is ignorant, as I have experienced, you become dead.

I could go on and on with other critical issues, but I am exhausted just trying to survive in the ACP. Of course it would be nice if the Attorney General Pam Bondi here would do her job and administrate her office with Integrity and make sure her program works, but to date, she very obviously does not give a hoot if we live or die. I know, because I have asked her. She does not respond.

But, if you take on the huge project of figuring out how to use the power tool (ACP) and provide the power yourself, you will survive!


Self_Advocate's avatar

Another warning on the ACP:
BANKING: Some banks and credit unions are just licensed in a specific geographic area. If the ACP address is out of the area they are in, they will not open an account. What the banks/credit unions don’t know, because they don’t keep up with their professional reading, is that the US Tresury came out with a ruling in 2009 that they banks/credit unions can and must take the ACP address with proper documentation. YOU will have to bring the ruling to the bank to provide it for them. (FIN-2009-R003) Just to stay alive.

greatfullara's avatar

You are in a power struggle with this man. He has victimized you. Maby look into why your subconscious fits a victim mentality? Refuse to be a victim any longer. It takes a lot of work. Do things that build your self esteem. Take a kick boxing class. Carry mace. Stand up straight and tall. You have every right to live where you want to. Do not feed his power with your fear. Work out. You are Valuable! If you don’t address your own psych in this matter, history may repeat it’s self. A person that victimizes people is actually very week. Good Luck. Happiness will never come to a victimizer.

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