Would you be uncomfortable sharing a bedroom with a gay roommate?

I would be more uncomfortable rooming with a homophobe.

Exactly what @Cruiser said.

Not at all.

No. The only way it would be uncomfortable to me was if she were attracted to me, and I was not to her or vice versa. Same if I had a male roommate.

Nope.

No. I’ve had gay male friends since high school (I’m a straight male ) and I guess it’s just a given that we have different interests – they like gay men, I go for straight women.

@Cruiser and @MyNewtBoobs I hope you’re not implying that I am a homophobe… I’m just interested in peoples’ thoughts. Many women I know (my own female roommate included) would be terribly uncomfortable living with someone of the opposite sex…

Yeah I dunno, I’d be fine with it, but I can kinda…maybe see why some people wouldn’t be, and I don’t think it necessarily means they’re a homophobic bigot.
A hell of a lot of people feel more comfortable rooming with someone of the same persuasion. I mean, traditionally, that’s the format. Not many heterosexual girls would put their hands up to room with a heterosexual guy, and if she were rooming with a dude she thought were gay and he was suddenly all “PS, I like chicks” then I could see how that might make her feel awkward about it. It’s just a different scenario, and one she may not have put her hand up for to begin with.

@nir17 So what about it makes you uncomfortable?

@nir17 No not at all…just expressing my POV on the subject of a question you asked a lot of people don’t have the courage to ask or answer truthfully. GQ!

I wouldn’t have an issue with it because I have had a roommate who was a lesbian. As a matter of fact she was the coolest roomate I had.

Did your friend have an issue with their roommate before they found out the roomie was gay?

I guess I would be, but only in the sense that I’d also be uncomfortable sharing a bedroom with a straight man.

Nope. I’d be uncomfortable sharing a bedroom with a straight guy though.

Well, I’m a little uncomfortable sharing a bedroom generally. I like space.

But if I had to have a roommate, and mine happened to be gay meh so what?
I mean, it depends on the roommate themselves of course, not their sexual preference!

If I was rooming with someone, and we were getting along great… or at least ok, and I learned that they were gay, it wouldn’t be a big deal. If this is a gay flatmate, then it’s even less of an non-issue.

Nope. And for all I know, I’ve already done so at some point.

Only if they were inconsiderate. It would not work at all.

Quite frankly I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing a bedroom with anyone on a year round basis since I’m way past college age.

Once out of college there are very few circumstances of adults needing to share bedrooms unless they are married or lovers.

For a temporary situation like a hotel stay at a convention or event, it wouldn’t matter at all to me to share a room with just about anybody EXCEPT a smoker or heavy drinker so loaded they’re barfing all over the place. Criteria like that are far more important to me than whatever their sexual orientation is.

And come to think of it, the same standards would apply to anyone I were sharing a house or apt. with.

Assuming they acted like mature sensible adults, whatever their sexual orientation is would just be a total non-issue.

Now, if they were allergic to kittehs and expected me to get rid of my little Smoochie, that would also be a deal breaker for me.

She’s the only one I’m currently willing to share a bedroom with :)

www.buttonstc.posterous.com

No homosexual roommates for me. If I’m living with another guy, I want someone pretty similar to me. Sexual preference is a pretty huge area on which to be different.

Ain’t it cute ? ha ha

Your friend in just an hypocrite [ ‘F him ]

What changed ? I don’t think the roommate made sexual tension. Why can’t he live onward like before ? If he is clean , pay rent, clean etc i don’t see the problem.

And for those who don’t like this… i don’t really care .. i’m a christian and i shouldn’t support homosexuals but they are humans and they can change and they deserve chance.

We all die but not all of us live.

What…like i’m going to tape a no entry sign to my arse? Nah, I see no issues at all, just as long as he didn’t mock my pink fwuffy kitten slippers…...oh shit, did I just say that out loud?

@plethora Would you feel the same way if the roommate were a straight woman? How about, say, a different color than you? From a different country? A different religion?

Being uncomfortable presupposes that any given person is attracted to all people. In other words, if you were heterosexual, you would be interested in having sex with with person of the opposite gender that you meet, and that being gay is only about having sex at every opportunity. That simply is not true, for heterosexuals or homosexuals.

My daughter is gay. Most of her friends are heterosexual females. She is not interested in dating any of them, and is not attracted to them at all except as friends. Her dating life is separate from her daily life, just like any other well-adjusted person.

Forgive the generalization, but in my admittedly limited experience with gay men the thing that stands out most is their inherent superiority in matters of style. I’d love to have a gay roommate, my apartment would get a much needed facelift and perhaps he could help me with my personal style as well. Gotta look at the bright side.

Just an outside thought: one straight guy plus one gay guy equals what?

What will other people think of this arrangement? Will they automatically conclude the straight guy is also gay(behind closed doors) or will they think both are straight and no problems for the straight guy?

Whatever works for them is okay with me.

@nir17 Even though my answer put straight men and gay women in the same category, the truth is iving with the opposite sex is different, because most people would have to be more careful about privacy with the opposite sex. When I am with women I don’t care about beng ina towel, or even changing in front of them. Conversations might be different. Same sex friends, whether they are gay or not, is usually a slightly different living situation than different genders. It depends on how tight the quarters are.

Not in the least. The only way that situation would be uncomfortable for me would be if she were attracted to me and I didn’t reciprocate. That’ll make for awkwardness no matter what sex or orientation you are – one-sided attraction is just uncomfortable, period.

This guy is an awful roommate. The fact that my boyfriend can even put up with sharing any living space is honestly a mystery to me. Just for those people who suggested that a gay man would give fashion tips or clean… Not this one.

@MyNewtBoobs When you have to share a room with someone, every single day, for a year at a time… small differences make a big difference. I have nothing against gay people – so please don’t get me wrong. But if my roommate (keep in mind that our beds are literally 10 feet apart) had a girl spend the night, I would be extremely uncomfortable. It’s just how I was raised and how I was programmed. If someone who was gay was uncomfortable living with me, I would not be offended. It’s just how you feel, IMO.

@nir17 If your boyfriend is not afraid of being hit on, what is the issue? And does your boyfriend have a concern with having a gay roommate, or is this something that you are struggling with?

@nir17 Well, sharing a bedroom in which the people on the bed next to you are going at it like wild monkeys (or hell, even like snails) is always going to be a bit uncomfortable. I, myself, am in the “not sharing a bedroom” camp, period. However, if someone would have a problem with seeing gay sex but not straight sex, then yeah, that’s having a problem with gay people. That’s not much different from saying “I don’t have a problem with gay people, I just don’t want them under my roof” or “I don’t have a problem with gay people, I just don’t think they should marry”.

For what I can say now, maybe. As a person who is gay, no. But I wouldn’t really like it if he started decorating our dorm in a gay fashion…I am not gay and have nothing against gays and frankly wouldn’t be all that bothered by gay décor (unless it gets reeally bad), it’s just that it seems a little weird on my part so i guess that means I am a little bothered…

I think it’s rude for any roommate to bring a partner to their bed when the other roommate is around.

@dxs – What would be decorating the dorm in a “gay fashion”?

@pied_pffefer There is not an ‘issue’ so much as a mild bit of shock/discomfort… No, he is not concerned with being hit on. His roommate already has a boyfriend, which he goes to spend the night with regularly (which is how he even found out that he was gay).

@MyNewtBoobs Have you ever shared a bedroom for an extended period of time with someone not of your choosing? I think it’s a bit of a leap to basically say that one is homophobic because they are uncomfortable seeing gay sex… I’d be fine watching straight porn, but would be incredibly uncomfortable watching gay porn…. that doesn’t mean I have a problem with gay people.

This is a public service announcement to straight roommates: Your gay/bi roommate is not checking you out.

In my freshman year of college we ran into this situation a lot. My circle of friends was a mix of people of all different orientations. There were especially a lot of bi women in our dorm (including me), and basically, discomfort between roommates is a two-way street. When my roommate found out I was bi, her reaction was something like, “Woah. Way to drop the bomb on me.” My friend Marie lived in a triple dorm with two straight girls, and they pretty much banded together against her and acted like she was always checking them out.

Guess what. Neither me nor Marie were interested in out roommates! It would take a really self-destructive person to have the hots for someone who you live with and who is always uncomfortable around you. Or to be attracted to someone who is genetically hardwired not to return your attraction, just because they happen to have the right body parts. And personally, I couldn’t be attracted to someone who had hangups about sexuality/race/gender/ any other things that people are born with. (Marie and I did have a thing for each other, though. :) On the other hand, two other roommates in our dorm ended up being great friends, and one was gay and one was straight. They were both so laid back and similar that it wasn’t an issue.

Everyone’s different, but I highly doubt your boyfriend’s roommate is trying to covertly sneak peeks at his junk or anything like that. He’s probably just trying to get through a very awkward living situation.

@nir17 No, because I haven’t shared my bedroom with someone since I did with my younger sister when I was 8. But again, the point is, if gay sex makes you uncomfortable where straight sex doesn’t, then that is a problem with the whole “gay” thing. I really don’t care about attaching a label like “homophobic” on it, I care about treating people with tolerance.

@Seelix possibly putting adam lambert posters everywhere

@haleth I never said that he was concerned that his roommate was checking him out or anything like that. I just posed the question to see what other people thought.

@mynewtboobs This was just a question… not some sort of gay-bashing or anything like that. I have a few very close friends who are gay, and I think I’m anything but intolerant. I was just curious to see what other people (likely older than me and in different living situations) thought, but it seems that some people are so quick to judge and label me that I’ll retract my question.

@nir17 Thank you for the multiple posts that help clarify your point-of-view. Call it what you want but “shock/discomfort” translates to an issue in my book. Your boyfriend’s roommate is showing respect by keeping his love life out of the dorm room. As @Seelix said, “it’s rude for any roommate to bring a partner to their bed when the other roommate is around.” Trust me…I’ve been there when a college roommate and her boyfriend proceeded to have sex more than once while I was in the room.

@augustlan Yep, on all counts. If I am LIVING with someone, then I want as much in common as possible, and no major differences. I don’t to live with a straight guy who turns the TV on first thing in the morning. That’s a pretty small diff, and I don’t want it.

@john65pennington Excellent point. That line of thought did not occur to me in my answer, but it does now.

@Hibernate He’s not a hypocrite… Jeez, he is not treating the guy any different. When his roommate told him, he was perfectly fine with it. And why do Christians have to not support homosexuals? And why should they have to change? I don’t think you should be so quick to judge him, especially when you don’t know him. That’s very un-Christian-like of you, which would make you a hypocrite as well, jsyk.

The guy was a lousy roommate from the start, he has not changed (unfortunately) with this new revelation.

@nir17 you don’t know anything about christianity so you can’t discuss on the subject.
Read or ask other about this matter then we’ll discuss but not when you are with no knowledge.

Believe me i am not judging him if I were to judge him i would have say different things and use a different approach.

And as I said. If he’s not cleaning / cooking / paying bils etc etc then he needs to be changed.

If your friend doesn’t bother with it why did you ask the question in the first place ? Just for the sake of argument ?

@nir17 I think the b/f is a dick, does that count for anything into his character?

but the rest of ya’ll need to back off, you’re being dbags

@Hibernate I do know about Christianity….. But, okay, no use arguing with certain people.

@tedd Haha, and you know this how?

But thanks for sticking up for me.

@nir17 Oh…. call it a hunch.

My best friend is a lesbian and I have no problem sharing a room with her or any other gay girls that I know. They all know I am in a relationship so they wouldn’t hit on me even if they were interested in me (which, as far as I know, none of my gay girl friends are). I can’t think of any reason why I would feel awkward or uncomfortable.

It seems that a lot of homophobes think they’re super hawt. They think that just because someone of their sex is gay, they’ll be jumping on them, humping their leg in five seconds if they ever let their guards down.

Come on, homophobes, you’re not nearly as sexy as you think you are!

2nd Answer.

The old saying, “you are who you run with” is so true and could apply in this situation.

Thats food for thought.

@John

The notable exception being the wolf in sheep’s clothing :)

So I guess that means I’m really a feline in human disguise since I sleep with one every night.

Well, I could certainly do worse, ha ha :)

In ancient Egypt, cats were worshipped as gods. They have never forgotten this.

@Seelix This seems like a pretty intolerant generalization of straight people… Him being hit on has absolutely no relevance in this question. I said uncomfortable in general in the question. If you actually read my question, it specifically said that he was not afraid of being hit on.

@nir17 – Sorry, I should have specified that the comment wasn’t directed at you, your friend or the roommate. It just came to mind after reading @Leanne1986‘s comment directly above mine.

So chill – I’m not coming down on you or your friend. I stand by my original statement that I wouldn’t be uncomfortable in the situation.

@nir17 If you do know about christianity then you know they do not tolerate homosexuality. And what the catholics are doing to support it it’s just to ” re – attract people” into reviewing their beliefs.

Not to mention that having different opinions doesnt mean you argue but whaever.

@Hibernate Christianity is not monolithic. It never was, in fact, but certainly no reasonable person has been able to pretend otherwise since the Protestant Reformation. So when you say that Christianity does not tolerate homosexuality, you are incorrect. Some specific Christians do not, some specific Christian churches do not, and some specific denominations do not.

Other Christians, other churches, and other denominations, however, do not merely tolerate but accept homosexuality. There are churches willing to perform religious marriage ceremonies for homosexual couples even though they will not be recognized by the state. Accepting Christians certainly have not done enough to fight back against the bigotry that is prevalent among their fellows, but that doesn’t mean they do not exist.

Ok mister ” i invented christianity” tell me specific what major factions TOLERATE it.
Tell me who ACCEPT it [ again wich ones ]

I never said about anything about state recognizing them. All i wanna know is why do you contra argue me about christians accepting homosexuality.

1 Corinthians 6:9 (New American Standard Bible)

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor [a]effeminate, nor homosexuals.

Whoever wishes to live their life according to Bible principles won’t bother accept a religion / cult / denomination who tolerate / accept / live in peace With such things.

So i ask you again wich ones tolerate and wich ones accept it. Names please [ and numbers of followers :) ]

Religion has been a source of both solace and suffering for many lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans. For while most LGBT Americans have been raised in an organized religion — and many continue to cherish their faith community — too many have been forced to leave those communities behind because of condemnation of lesbian, gay and bisexual people.

And yet in recent years, a growing number of organized religious groups in the United States have issued statements officially welcoming lesbian, gay and bisexual people as members. (With the exception of the Unitarian Universalist Association, the Metropolitan Community Church, the United Church of Christ and the Reconstructionist movement of Judaism, most have been silent on transgender people.)

Many religious organizations also have taken supportive stands on the issues that affect LGB people in America, such as the fight for freedom from discrimination, the solemnizing of same-sex marriage and the ordination of openly gay clergy.

For example, the United Church of Christ ran a national television commercial that showed same-sex couples being welcomed into its congregations. The Presbyterian Church (USA) blesses same-sex unions. The Episcopal Church has issued an apology for past discrimination. And Reform Judaism ordains openly lesbian, gay and bisexual people as clergy.

Click on a religious organization’s name below for an overview of their position on LGBT people and the issues that affect them.

Please note that this list is not comprehensive. There are LGBT people of faith in a number of religions not listed here including Sikhism, Native American religions and others. There also are many LGBT people who practice forms of spirituality found outside organized religion. We are working to expand this section to represent as many religious and spiritual experiences as possible. Please send any suggestions you have.

African Methodist Episcopal Church
American Baptist Church USA
Buddhism
Church of God in Christ
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons)
Church of the Nazarene
Episcopal Church
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
Hinduism
Islam
Judaism
Metropolitan Community Churches
National Baptist Convention USA Inc.
Old Catholics/Independent Catholics
Pentecostals
Presbyterian Church (USA)
Religious Society of Friends (Quakers)
Roman Catholic Church
Salvation Army
Seventh-day Adventist Church
Southern Baptist Convention
Unitarian Universalist Association
United Church of Christ
United Methodist Church

Source

And the doctine of any of these who welcome homosexuality IS NOT BASED on the Bible .
Why ?
Because you cannot preach the Bible and just choose to leave passages of it out.

Do tell me if i’m right or not.

Oh and doing so just proves that people like whatever it suits them or go where they feel comfortable not where they wanna hear the Truth or any of God’s words.

Best of luck mate. We have different ways of viewing this subject.

[ was a nice conversation ]

@Hibernate Oh, really, so you stone your mother when she wears a poly-blend blouse? Or do you “choose to leave that passage of it out”? What about planting two crops next to each other? Have you tried to sell your daughter into slavery? Eaten pig? Cut your hair?

@Hibernate
I’m with @MyNewtBoobs here. With the Bible, what do you pick and choose?

Also what Lacey says on facebook:

Patti: “Homosexuality is a sin, Lacey, and it is in black and white in the Bible.”
16 minutes ago · Delete

Lacey: “So is not treating your body like a temple. And ladies should have their head covered. And in Deuteronomy, a marriage is only valid if the woman is a virgin, and she should be executed if she is not… and that anyone who commits adultery should be stoned to death. In Mark, divorce is prohibited. I assume for homosexuality, you’re referring to Leviticus 18:6: “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female. It is an abomination.” A similar verse occurs two chapters later, in Leviticus 20:13: “A man who sleeps with another man is an abomination and should be executed.” Leviticus is a holiness code written 3,000 years ago. It also includes prohibitions against round haircuts, tattoos, working on the Sabbath, wearing garments of mixed fabrics, eating pork or shellfish, getting your fortune told, and even playing with the skin of a pig. (There goes football!). I believe in morality, which is doing right regardless of what I’m told… not in religion, which is doing what I’m told regardless of what is right. You’re welcome to your own interpretation of the Bible and of politics, of course, but for me, I need more than “the Bible says so” to justify certain things in this world and certainly to judge them.”

@everephebe Who is Lacey?

@Hibernate You made a claim about Christianity as a whole, and I pointed out that the claim was incorrect. You asked for a list of denominations who have forsaken bigotry, and @Pied_Pfeffer kindly provided one. Why do I argue against you? Because you are mistaken. There is no other reason. I do not see, however, that this in any way means I have “invented Christianity.” Nor do I see how my mentioning that there are churches who recognize homosexual marriages even when the state won’t in any way suggests that you said anything about the state. The point there was merely that some churches have been accepting entirely on their own, even when those around them have held fast to their bigotry.

Whether or not they are in accord with the Bible when doing so is a separate question. As I am no longer a Christian, this issue is not very pressing for me. It is worth noting, however, that 1 Corinthians 6:9 is no smoking gun for either side of this debate. In the original Greek, the passage reads as follows.

η ουκ οιδατε οτι αδικοι βασιλειαν θεου ου κληρονομησουσιν μη πλανασθε ουτε πορνοι ουτε ειδωλολατραι ουτε μοιχοι ουτε μαλακοι ουτε αρσενοκοιται

The words most at issue here are ”μαλακοι” (malakoi) and ”αρσενοκοιται” (arsenokoitai). Neither of these words were believed by scholars or theologians to refer to homosexuality until the 20th century, but the proper meaning of each is problematic.

The literal meaning of ”μαλακοι” is “soft.” Martin Luther, meanwhile, translated the word as “weaklings.” Since the list of vices Paul is giving does not consist entirely in sexual sins, many argue that we are to take ”μαλακοι” as having its common Greek meaning: one who is lazy or weak-willed (especially in moral matters). If we are to take it as a sexual term, however, it looks like it would refer to boys who work as prostitutes. Regardless, the NASB translation of the word as “effeminate” fails to give any support for an anti-homosexual spin on the verse. Effeminacy and homosexuality were not associated with one another at the time, and scripture cannot mean anything now that it did not mean then.

The word ”αρσενοκοιται” is even more difficult, as it appears to have been invented by Paul. Martin Luther thought it referred to masturbation. Some who read ”μαλακοι” as “boy prostitute” read ”αρσενοκοιται” as the men who hire those boys. Others think that this term refers to the boy prostitutes and that ”μαλακοι” is unrelated. Those who wish to interpret this passage as a condemnation of homosexuality often try to pair ”αρσενοκοιται” with ”μαλακοι” and translate them together for the purposes of interpretation. Paul’s use of ουτε clauses, however, limits the extent to which we can reason in this way. There is no syntactical reason to think the two terms are linked, and the semantics are precisely what is in dispute (so we must be wary of begging any questions here). But this fact is equally problematic for some arguments on the other side.

I am most convinced by those who think that ”αρσενοκοιται” is a reference to the Greek translation of Leviticus 20:13, where the phrase ”αρσενο κοιται αρσενο” is in the place where “man lies with a male” is in the English. This still does not suffice for a condemnation of homosexuality, however, as the proper interpretation of that passage is itself subject to serious debate. The most obvious problems with reading Leviticus as a statement on homosexuality simpliciter are that (a) homosexuality is not only practiced by men, and (b) the ritual impurity of male/male sex in Leviticus apparently has to do with the Jewish identity laws and nothing to do with the sexual acts themselves.

It is not clear, then, who is basing their doctrine on the Bible. If nothing else, the Bible seems to be a story about a God who leaves his jealousy and vengefulness behind in favor of love for all of His creations. But maybe Jesus isn’t an important character in the Bible on your interpretation. Seems that would leave an awful lot of verses out, though.

@SavoirFaire I love you so much for knowing about the translation issues with malakoi and arsenokoitai

@Hibernate
“And the doctine of any of these who welcome homosexuality IS NOT BASED on the Bible. Why? Because you cannot preach the Bible and just choose to leave passages of it out.”

People who preach the Bible always leave something out. You must realize, it’s full of contradictions. †
And anyone can cite scripture for their own purpose.*
And that isn’t limited to Christianity of course.

Do you think Jesus would choose to hang out with the “righteous” over the “sinners?” You seem to be leaving out some passages yourself.

Like these passages:
Matthew 7:1–5:
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

John 8:7
So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Matthew 9:10–13
Now it happened, as Jesus sat at the table in the house, that behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat down with Him and His disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to His disciples, “Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” When Jesus heard that, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

Mark 9:41
For whoever gives you a cup of water to drink in My name, because you belong to Christ, assuredly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.
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*Matthew 4:6–7
“And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.”
“The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.* An evil soul producing holy witness Is like a villain with a smiling cheek.” Shakespeare, Merchant of Venice

† Proverbs 26:4–5
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Lest you also be like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, Lest he be wise in his own eyes.
What?
Snails do not melt.
A bat is not a bird.
Snakes, while built low, do not eat dirt.
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@Jeruba Sorry, I broke the whisper rule here. :(
@MyNewtBoobs She’s a badass clearly, other than that, no idea. I stumbled across her retort online.
@SavoirFaire Excellent – excellent – work.