Social Question

Aster's avatar

What are your thoughts on this woman's lifestyle?

Asked by Aster (18776points) April 13th, 2011

A famous actress and dancer , 77, has lived alone for years after a 30 year open marriage. She says her marriage was superlative because not only was she best friends with her husband , they were free to have dozens of affairs throughout the marriage. For decades she has lived alone, traveled alone and prefers it to having a companion. When she sees a couple who has been married and faithful for decades she thinks to herself, “look at them; they seem spaced out and apathetic. Such a waste.”
She is happy with herself and her home on 75,000 acres, still writes books and is considering doing a movie. Her interests are numerous, she is at the head of a business and her home is “off the grid.”
Could you handle living alone, traveling alone and at no one’s beck and call? She does have a dog who is her “best friend.”

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20 Answers

Qingu's avatar

I couldn’t personally manage that, but if it works for her (and worked for her husband), who am I to judge? Nobody is harmed. There’s nothing wrong with being a loner, either.

Blackberry's avatar

It sounds like the life a lot of us would like to actually have, but don’t have the opportunity lol. Independence that is almost absolute; you are your own person.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Yes.I could do that. :)

Nullo's avatar

Almost sounds like she’s not married.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

What do you mean, what are my thoughts? Do you want me to say ‘oh no, what a heathen witch!’ or ‘oh my, marriages are for losers!’? It sounds to me like she’s just a person who has a life and opinions that I do and do not agree with (not all married people are spaced out, many are).

erichw1504's avatar

I could not live off the grid. I need my Fluther time.

Seelix's avatar

As long as she’s happy and her lifestyle isn’t causing harm to others, more power to her.

I don’t know that I could spend that much time alone, personally, but if she’s happy, who are we to judge?

Aster's avatar

I’d like to try it for six months and see how I like it. LOL

FluffyChicken's avatar

I couldn’t, but good for her.

JilltheTooth's avatar

I live alone. I like alone. I see people when and where I want to see them, I go where I want when I want. I like it and will be sorry when/if the day comes that I no longer can. Good for her for not buying into the social imperative that you have to be “with someone” to be happy.

ucme's avatar

Good on her say I, although I suspect she may be buried in a Y shaped coffin upon her demise. “Dozens of affairs” could have that unfortunate side effect :¬)

ETpro's avatar

It’s awfully hard to argue with success. I salute her for having the courage to find what works for her, not what is prescribed by some priest.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Good for her. I couldn’t be happy that much alone.

Cruiser's avatar

I can relate to her argument of people numbing out to long term relationships just for the sake of marriage. I have had many “relationships” in my adult life and would have missed out on a lot had I gotten married young and rode out a marriage just because. LITS to not smell the roses of life.

Aster's avatar

Well, she does live alone, yes, but she also is around people quite a bit it would seem since she is in touch with her publisher, did an interview on a tv talk show, is the head of a New Age thing where people pay a lot to discover who they were in past lives and will be trying out for a major role in a movie thousands of miles from her ranch near Santa Fe. She is a NY Times Bestselling author and has multiple Golden Globes and Oscars. I think I’ll take poison today. jk

MilkyWay's avatar

I could do the “off the grid” thing, but not the marriage. I think it’d be better if I didn’t marry at all.

yankeetooter's avatar

I live alone as well, and am mostly content. But when and if I meet the right person, I would want to have an exclusive relationship with them.

Brian1946's avatar

I guess when one is living the life that Shirley MacLaine does, living alone with your best friend is a great way to enjoy what is probably precious privacy.

However, contrary to her observation, my wife and I are not wasting our lives in states of spaced out apathy.

Although vast estates don’t guarantee happiness, I think a lot of couples would feel less apathy if they were able to retreat to a 75,000-acres home.

I think living in a magnificent place to enjoy one’s self with extremely minimal or no uninvited intrusions, and with the companionship of one’s best friend, is a wonderful way to live.

Even though she’s made a generalized judgment about long-term monogamous couples, I’ll make no other judgment on her lifestyle than what I already have.

Haleth's avatar

Her lifestyle sounds very appealing to me, especially the open marriage. Right now I probably wouldn’t want to live alone or off the grid, but people’s preferences change over time. I’ve known older people (teachers, relatives, parents of friends) who were very social when they were young and started to want more alone time and quiet time as they got older.

I think it’s great that she has the courage and independence to live an unusual lifestyle that makes her happy. Personally, I will probably want to have some sort of life partner, even into my old age. Not necessarily a spouse- I don’t think a traditional marriage will make me happy- but an intimate relationship where we’re mentally and emotionally close.

trailsillustrated's avatar

it all sounds great and good for her but she needs to shup up espeially when she ‘comments on other peoples relationships ” I’ll bet she’s on the bestseller list and her books are all hell boring

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