If you must _________, then at least _________?

If you must pick your nose, then at least use a tissue.

If you must do the speed limit, then at least stay to the right.

If you must ask for a favor,then at least kiss my ass. XD

If you must scratch your privates, then at least wash your hands afterwards

If you must take a dump in my bathroom, then at least make sure you don’t leave any floaters in the toilet bowl.

If you must exist, then at least do something worthwhile.

If you must SPIT in public then at least wait til you know the coast is clear! Gah…I hate spitters! lol

If you must walk around naked at least close the blinds (sometimes its like a car wreck you don’t want to look but its so bad you can’t help it)

@creative1

That’s the beauty of living on a secluded property, I always joke about causing a stampede, but, usually the sheep and horses just stare, they don’t care if I am naked as long as I have an apple in my hand. lol

If you must empty the trash in the day time, then at least wear a pair of sunglasses.

@Coloma Tooo funny!!!

If you must chew gum a least don’t chew like a cow

If you must drive 35 mph in a 55mph zone at least PULL OVER so us real drivers can get the edge on your pokey puppy sunday driver scene.

If you must talk to me so close, then at least use a breath mint.

@erichw1504
LOL

If you must play games then at least take into account the IQ of your gaming object, not all of us have the intelligence of a garden snail and we can see right through the thin veneer of your bullshit! lol

If you must look at porn, please make sure your door is locked.

If you must be President, then at least TRY to do a good job!

If you must not take a shower, then at least wear deodorant.

If you have nothing worthwhile to say on a question, then at least save yourself the time and go to another one.

if you must acquit, then at least find more reason then the glove doesn’t fit.

(NSFW) if you must go down on me, then at least don’t spit.

If you must shine that light in my eyes, then at least don’t ask where I was last night…

If you must show me that mole you got, then at least warn me beforehand.

If you must show off your figure, than at least have a decent body.

If you must belch as loudly as possible because this is one of your most finely honed skills, please, just wait til I leave the room, whether you are 12 or 62. I still get PO’d at my daughter for this! lol

If you must flail, then at least do it dramatically.

If you must cry, at least go outside where I can’t hear you. (That is what I heard a mother tell her child one day. lol)

If you must puke then at least turn your head away from me and puke on him!

If you must call me after 7:00 pm on a Tuesday night (and it’s not an emergency) at least wait until both Glee and NCIS are over.

I watch one and tape the other, but if you call me during that time, then I get less Mark Harmon face time and won’t be able to figure out the mystery. Or if I’m watching Glee, then I won’t be able to figure out whether Finn is with Quinn or Rachel at any given moment and I might miss an awesome and rare solo by Curt

If you must commit suicide, then at least have the common courtesy to take a few politicians with you.

If you must fart in public, then at least don’t stand beside me and make everyone think it was me.

If you must answer my questions then at least throw me some lurve…...oh that’s okay, I see some of you did. Gee thanks ;¬}

If you must insist on sticking that thing in me then at least you could make it last!!
For those frustrated women out there who wouldn’t mind a little more pleasure from their bedroom action XD

If you must hock a loogie, don’t do it in the direction where I’m walking!

I have seen this happen a couple of times, done by old men. Why is it always old men who do this? One did the nostril thing in my presence as well, without a micron of shame.

If you must smoke while driving, then at least don’t flick the friggin butt out the window when you are done!

OMG I hate that!

if you must judge me then at least look in the mirror before you do so.

If you must pick your anus then at least you could refrain from sniffing your fingers & wash your hands before foreplay…...ewwwwww!!!

If you must bring your children onto an aeroplane then at least make the little brats….darlings sit on the wings XD

lol

If you must post a question with a very long description, please use proper grammar and spelling and divide your narrative into paragraphs (which are easier on the eyes).

And please try to keep the description linear, and try to keep track of all of the people involved, so that we don’t get anyone mixed up with anyone else, and try to keep extraneous details out of the mix. We don’t mind reading novels as long as they are clear and concise.

@Kardamom Ouch I feel like you are talking about me haha

@nailpolishfanatic Trust me, there are many, many people who do this. It’s bothersome.

@KatetheGreat Oh well, guess we could take that as a sign that there are some changes needed to be done when we ask questions ;D At the same time we learn something.

@nailpolishfanatic Exactly! It makes things hard to read and unorganized whenever proper language and punctuation isn’t used. It makes Fluther a better place!

@nailpolishfanatic You were definitely not one of the people that I was thinking about. Lol.

@nailpolishfanatic But now you’ve got me curious to go and and look back at some of your questions. I seriously doubt that you’ve done anything like that. But now I have to look…

@nailpolishfanatic No, definitely not you! Your questions seem pretty clear and concise to me : )

Wait a minute here, it’s my question & @Kardamom states “If you must post a question…...!!” Now steady on…..;¬}

@ucme It’s not you either : )

Some of the younger kids tend to post questions that have a lot of players, and situations that happened on different dates. And sometimes they attempt to quote dialogue. That’s when I usually get mixed up. I can’t figure out who said what, or when they said it.

If you must mow lawn at 3am, then at least do it in the nude.

@Kardamom Phew! I feel better. Now I can go to sleep lol

If you must make short, asinine remarks, then at least make _bob a sandwich first. :P

I wish I could say I made this one up. It’s from a funny bumper sticker I saw on the back of a car:

“If you must ride my ass, at least pull my hair.”

If you must answer a question on Fluther, then at least read the details of the question and please don’t be snarky with the OP. (why does someone always gotta be a dick? ) :P

If you must be a hypocrite, then at least admit to it.

If you must go whitewater rafting, then at least take me with you. (I’ll supply the beverages :D)

@jonsblond Hello, my name is WillWorkForChocolate, and I’m a hypocrite. =0)

If you must double dip at least put some dip on your plate to do so, I don’t want your germs

Oooh, that double dipping, baaad, baaad! Thinking Seinfeld lol

If you must weed eat your entire 10 acres could you at least wait til the freaking roosters are awake?

@WillWorkForChocolate hypocrites unite! ;)

Is there some sort of meeting? Will there be food?

If you must hijack a thread with back and forth banter (that no one else is interested in), than at least PM each other or go to the chat room. I’m just sayin.
@ucme as always GQ:¬)

If you must talk, make your breaths count, or I will. :)

@AmWiser Bless all ten of your tiny toes ;¬}
Cheers folks, good stuff!
If you must be a patronising bastard then at least be sure to get your facts straight.
If you must sport an erection in the prison showers then at least have the good grace to give a guy a quick reach around XD

If you must take a long road trip, then at least make a pee-pee first.

If you must call yourself a ‘professional’ than at least have the courtesy to return a phone call sooner than 3 weeks later if you want my biz!

If you must act like an idiot, then at least claim you were dropped on your head as a baby.

Hey- @erichw1504, my head injury happened when I was 22, not a baby! (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!)