General Question

minniemau5's avatar

Am I a vain person for having reconstructive breast implants?

Asked by minniemau5 (432points) May 19th, 2011

Recently I was reading a forum post about real breasts vs. fake breasts. The vast majority favored real breasts for obvious reasons, and went on to say people with breast implants are ‘disgusting’ or ‘vain’. This kind of made me fell, well… horrible. Yes, I have breast implants, and yes, I am only 18. Pre-pubescent high dose radiation for cancer left me completely flat-chested with no hopes of my breasts ever growing. My right side of my rib cage was also a lot smaller, making me quite asymmetrical, so my doctors agreed that reconstructive breast surgery would even me out and help my self-esteem. And it did. I am quite happy with myself and I don’t regret anything – I just don’t like the thought of people thinking I’m a horrible person or terribly vain just because of my boobs. Also on the forum, some guys wrote that they’d never be with a woman with breast implants.

… Will I be lonely for the rest of my life? O.o

What are your thoughts on this? Thanks!

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24 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

Your situation is different. You have implants because your body was damaged. This is reconstructive surgery. It’s not the same at all as elective surgery, which makes women look more like pinup dolls.

You will not be lonely for the rest of your life. The preferences of people here are not those of everyone in the world. I understand that hearing or reading such comments might make you feel bad, but understand that your situation is different and you don’t deserve to be called vain. In fact, I suspect you aren’‘t generally a vain person.

Good luck.

creative1's avatar

No, you are not vain in the least. It is your right go make yourself feel good, you have been through enough with having gone through cancer which took the breasts you should have had away from you so go for the surgery that you have a right to have.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

You aren’t vain. If you want to have breasts then go for it. The reality is breasts are still seen as womanly so unless you want to spend decades blabbing to everyone around you who will listen how breasts aren’t that important and then being pissy when you see how many people like breasts, pay to look at them, pay to improve their own and reconstruct damaged ones… go for it, get your breasts.

tedd's avatar

You definitely aren’t vain, especially since you have a legitimate (and tragic) medical reason for not developing them naturally.

Some other girls who just get them for aesthetics aren’t vain either. If you want to have a big chest and you were born without one, hey more power to you if you’ve got the money to spend. If that gives you added confidence who are we to put you down?

That said, a lot of people get them for all the wrong reasons, and in some cases despite the fact they are MORE than adequately endowed naturally.

In your case though, you most definitely are not vain.

As far as guys complaining about it or what not on that forum. For starters they’re not talking about people who get them for medical reasons. Second, I would guess unless she outright told them a lot of the guys would never know if they were with a partner who had them. In my life I’ve only known one girl to tell me she had them… but I’m almost certain I’ve met more.

Just don’t make them gargantuan please :). Damn things get in the way at a certain point.

JilltheTooth's avatar

After what you’ve been through? Absolutely not! Anything that makes you feel better about yourself at this point is no more than you deserve. It’s not about vanity, it’s about trying to regain some normalcy in your life.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

No. @JilltheTooth said it perfectly. When I think of disgusting fake breasts, I think more like this or the ones the fembots have in Austin Powers. But I think there’s a huge difference between going to a triple D just for funsies and trying to get back what you (would have) had so you can live life normally.

marinelife's avatar

Do not worry about your breast implants. Your desire to have reconstructive surgery was very natural.

Yours is one of the only good reasons to have breast implants. Yours is the reason that they were invented.

The talk is aimed at people who choose breast implants simply to enlarge their breast size.

A man who loves you will totally understand and will enjoy your implants.

Seelix's avatar

Like the others have said, your situation is different. You, your family and your doctors all decided that it was the best thing to do based on your medical history and the fact that you’re at an age where appearance has a strong effect on self-esteem (or at least a stronger effect than it will later on).

The disdain that many people feel toward breast implants is 99.999% of the time intended toward women who choose to enhance their breasts in order to make themselves sexier. You did it in order to feel normal. Big difference.

And any man who understands what your situation is will look past the implants, if he’s one of those who doesn’t particularly like them.

You say you’re happy with yourself – keep being happy. Know that you did it for the right reasons, and any reasonable person will understand that.

Vunessuh's avatar

No, I don’t think you’re vain and my opinion has very little to do with the fact that you have a medical reason.
I never get too hung up on someone’s reason for plastic surgery. I ignore the stigma. Even if you’re doing it to just simply enlarge your breasts to look sexier and fill out clothes a little better, I don’t think it means you’re automatically vain or wrong. People can do what they want and anyone thinking it is an automatic reflection on that person’s personality/character or morals and values says more about them then about the one getting plastic surgery.

augustlan's avatar

You had excellent reasons for your surgery, and I wouldn’t consider that vain at all. Even if you didn’t have such good reasons, it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks… it’s your body, and you have to be happy with it. It sounds like you are, so good for you!

As to whether men will like them, it’s kind of like hair color… some men prefer blondes, but plenty of others prefer brunettes or redheads. Even then, those with a preference generally don’t scratch every woman with another hair color off their list. I’m certain there are plenty of men out there who won’t have any issue at all with your boobage. :)

zenvelo's avatar

Any guy whose sole criteria is natural vs reconstructive breasts is not someone who will see your beauty (which comes through in your post) and love you for who you are. I think you will meet wonderful men that cherish you.

bkcunningham's avatar

I don’t think breast implants are ugly or disgusting. I think they are beautiful. I like breasts. I’m a woman. I would imagine it would be a very difficult thing to lose one of my nearly 50 year old breasts. I think they are beautiful (and my husband is quite fond of them also.)

If something happened that I did have to give one, or both up to save my life, I’d remove them. I’d let my husband kiss them goodbye and out of the treasure chest they’d go. I would have the artificials put in if I could afford it. If I couldn’t, I’d imagine I’d buy the best ones I could afford. Even if it meant I took them out of my bra at night and put them on my nightstand.

I have a friend who was born with lifetime memebership into the Ittsy Bitsy Tittie Club. On top of that, her nipples were inverted. She was in her thirties and saved up and had implants. They were beautiful. She was so proud, she let me feel of them. Besides a little hard piece of plastic feeling something under her left breast near her armpit, they felt pretty real.

My friend long ago said, “If it doesn’t come off in my mouth, I don’t care.” (Edit) And so what if a woman does “it” to feel sexy. It’s her body, remember, let her do what she wants if it doesn’t hurt anybody else. I say more power to breasts!

Mariah's avatar

Hey, good to see you. I’ve been wondering if you were okay.

To echo everyone else: no, no, a thousand times no, not in your situation! What you’re doing is seeking out some aspects of “normal” life that you may have otherwise missed out on for reasons beyond your control. You’ve been through some really rough shit and you shouldn’t have to live with long-term consequences of that if they can be reversed. No guy worth a damn will judge you badly for this.

King_Pariah's avatar

First off, no that was not vain of you to do at all (though I could see some people with their heads up their asses say otherwise). Second, no you’re not going to be alone. Yes, there are quite a few guys who prefer al natural, but there are guys who don’t care as long as they’re there, and (believe it or not) there are some guys who couldn’t care less about that and actually see you for who you are. Now if you already had a decent sized rack and got implants on top of that, well, that could easily be debated as them being vain.

drdoombot's avatar

Since everyone else seems to have covered most sides of the issue, I thought I’d offer you something a little different:

For every person out there who thinks you are horrible or vain, there is another person out there who thinks you are great. For all the guys out there who hate breast implants, there are just as many who love them.

Putting aside your personal circumstances, don’t worry about others loving you. Love yourself and the right person will find you. You will not be alone.

mazingerz88's avatar

No on your being vain.
No don’t worry about guys who would not sleep with someone who has breast implants. That is not a deal breaker and besides lots of guys sleep with women with implants. As a matter of fact I’m sure that’s one of the motivations. : )
No you will not be lonely for the rest of your life. You’re only 18.

LuckyGuy's avatar

No. See all the answers above. ^^^
But… Unless you regularly stand in front of a public, full body scanner, why would anyone know?
Your surgery should not be a topic of casual discussion.
Even if you are dating someone, you are under no obligation to divulge anything until after the second or third date and you think the relationship is going to continue.
You’re 18. Your worries should be about school grades, college, hormones, etc. not what certain ignorant individuals say.
By the way, guys are even dumber than you think.

Thammuz's avatar

There’s a huge difference between reconstructive surgery and cosmetic surgery. The post identifying women who get breast implants as “vain” quite clearly refers to the latter of the two.

That aside, yes there are men who are completely and utterly revolted at the idea of fake breasts, I personally don’t fancy them too much but they would hardly be a good enough reason not to date someone, and for every person who doesn’t like them there is a person who prefers them to real ones. I mean, look at porn: how many actresses have breast implants and still work, or work even more? (always look at porn to find an answer on what men could find attractive, i.e. anything)

So, no, you won’t be alone forever, you wouldn’t have been even if you didn’t get breast implants, because somewhere out there there are men who love flat chests, too. Don’t worry about a couple of males who base their standard of beauty on breasts alone and go on with your life.

rooeytoo's avatar

I have a good friend who is a year or two older than I making her close to 70. She had breast reconstruction after a double mastectomy about 18 years ago. She now jokes that the only part of her body that is still perky are her beautiful breasts.

Here’s to a lot of years of pleasure and enjoyment for you from your ever perky and beautiful breasts.

rts486's avatar

Not at all.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

You did not choose to get implants for vain reasons, so no.

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Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I think you’re going to make some guy think he’s the luckiest guy on the planet. You come across as a beautiful and gentle person. Life gave you a mean kick, you did what you had to to survive. There’s no reason not to tap into existing technology to restore what was taken away from you. It would be nice if everyone didn’t put such emphasis on looks, but that’s our imperfect world. If it makes you more comfortable to have the implants, it’ll make it easier for you to let your true self out. I’ve always been one of the big real is better than implants guys on here. I’ve also been proven to be a horse’s behind more than once. Chalk up another one.

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