Social Question

erint23's avatar

Long distance relationship and moving?

Asked by erint23 (35points) June 27th, 2011

I met this guy online and we were chatting for about 3 months before i flew over to find him. We’re about 7.5 hours apart via flight and his time zone is 2 hours ahead of mine. We’ve been keeping in touch everyday via skype/IM/texting/viber but the physical contact is sorely lacking and can be quite frustrating. I’m trying to keep hopeful regarding this relationship but how do people keep it strong? Also, I am trying to find a job in Sydney because he is there but it is so hard because I am here and most (if not, all) companies in Sydney requires the person to already have visa or some permanent residency of sorts. So if anyone can offer any help regarding finding a job in sydney under employer sponsor visa would be fantastic.

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15 Answers

Bellatrix's avatar

I am guessing you have a work visa? It depends on the visa but I think the expectation is if you are here on a work visa, you have to move around. You can’t stay in one place. That may have changed though. Check the requirements on your paperwork though because they do check.

Often it’s not what you know, but who you know that will get you the job. Get to know people. Go to your local pub if there is a good community pub close by. Not sure how old you are, but if you are fairly young, check out the local back backer haunts. People who are moving on might be able to give you hints as to who is looking for staff.

Be prepared to try things you wouldn’t normally do. Work in retail, hotels, restaurants. Look for signs outside shops seeking help. If you meet people, let them know you are looking for work. Every person you meet potentially knows someone who needs staff. Unemployment is pretty low here at the moment. Have some cards printed with your contact details on them. That way you aren’t digging around for a pen to give out your contact info.

When I first arrived in Oz, I typed up my resume and walked around industrial areas and handed them out to people. It got me work. Once you have worked for a place, even if it is only for a few weeks, you can put them down as a reference. It will get easier.

Hope the relationship works out for you :-) Have fun here anyway!

erint23's avatar

Hello Bellatrix! :) Thank you for responding! Well, i don’t have a work visa and i don’t qualify for a skilled migrant visa, hence, i am only eligible for an employer sponsored visa or a partner visa. but i can’t take the partner visa yet as my partner and i have not been together for a year. So… i’ll have to hunt around for someone willing to hire me.. I was thinking of going there on a tourist visa and hunt for a job for 3 months, but while im on a tourist visa, i cannot work part time at retail and stuff but i can however, attend interviews.. who might hire me on an off chance. I’m saving up at the moment, so i won’t have to depend on him too much.

But i’ll definitely hang out at good community pubs and back packers haunts like you mentioned. i hope it all works out too! thanks! :)

Bellatrix's avatar

Be careful. If you get caught working on a tourist visa, it might affect your ability to get a working visa or sponsorship later. Can you get a working visa? Have you tried? Our immigration department can be a bit tough! I know, took me a while to get in many years ago. I don’t know if anyone here has more recent experience with Immigration in Australia. Just keep in mind, they aren’t terribly forgiving if you are caught out overstaying your visa or breaching the conditions. What do you do for a living now?

Hibernate's avatar

Best bet is a immigration company.

[ There’s always the guy moving toward you and getting a job there .. ]

In any case in a relationship everyone has to sacrifice. [ more or less ]

Best of luck.

erint23's avatar

@bellatrix ah, no work and holiday visas are allowed for singaporeans who want to do so in australia, sadly. :( so… best bet is to get there on a tourist visa and get interviews and hope to God i get an employer to sponsor me, or wait out for the partner visa. I am doing marketing, advertising and promo, corporate comms for an attraction in Singapore at the moment. :)

@hibernate oh, i did approach a guy in the immigration company, and he told me im not eligible for a skilled migrant visa. so he suggested that, or to take up a course with TAFE, courses like lock smith, tree surgeon, brick layer… none of which i am interested in to be honest, and moving to another country is possibly stressful enough, i dont need that kind of stress to create a backlash and affect my relationship there too, i feel. it might end up being a very vicious cycle.

if anyone of you know whoever is hiring in Sydney for a marketing position (someone with 2 years of experience), they can always drop me an email and i will forward my resume to them! :)

Bellatrix's avatar

Sighs, wow that’s hard. Well fingers crossed on the job front. As I said, low unemployment so you never know. Check out That’s one of the key websites for jobs. Sheesh, well don’t we all want to be a tree surgeon?? Hmmm… when my daughter was at school they told her a good job would be as a jockey. Lots of work for jockeys of course.

When I came over here @erint23 many years ago, I was the person who got the permanent residency not my husband to be. Within an hour of getting off the plane, he had a job, took me six months. So don’t give up!

erint23's avatar

oh yes, i’ve signed up for, linkme, various FMCG websites, michael page, hays, etc.. all of them wanted someone with a visa already. :( so all i’ve been getting are rejections letter, but i understand why. So im keeping heart and keeping faithful and working here, saving up to go there! i know right, the jobs that are highly sought after by aust rules arent exactly highly sought after by actual people soemtimes. so that kinda suck. i hope to be able to find a job in 3 months, shld i resort to the tourist visa thing.. it’s a huge huge huge gamble because i have a very comfortable life right here where i am. i am single but i have a lovely labrador that i love very much, all my girl friends are here and that would also mean missing out on a lot of moments.. so…. yea.

Bellatrix's avatar

And he can’t come there? One thing I really believe is if it is meant to be, it will be. :)

erint23's avatar

i believe in that too, bellatrix. :) ah, he can’t, he has two kids with him and they’re fairly young. i’m the one who is more carefree, so i guess i should make the move…

bobbinhood's avatar

I know that long distance is very frustrating, but you said that once you’ve been together for a year, you can get a partner visa. I’m assuming you can work if you’re there on a partner visa? You have also indicated that you’ve been together for more than three months already, which means you have less than nine to go. I know long distance is hard, but it’s totally doable. My husband and I were in a long distance relationship for four years before we got married, so I know what I’m talking about. My advice would be to stick it out for a few more months until you can get the partner visa; the tourist visa sounds like it will give you the same problem you’re having now.

erint23's avatar

yep, i can work there with a partner visa but it is only considered 1 year starting from the day you first lay eyes on each other. so technically it’s been 1 month instead of 4 months. a little disheartening but i’m keeping hopeful everyday. how did you and your husband cope with the distance?

bobbinhood's avatar

@erint23 One day at a time. If you think about having to wait 11 months, you’ll be very discouraged; if you just think about getting through today and making the most of it, it is much better. If you do nothing else, remember to focus on one day at a time. It was the biggest thing that helped me live life to the fullest while we were apart rather than simply pining until we could be together.

It also helps to stay busy. If you’re just sitting around waiting for time to pass, it will go very slowly. If you fill your days and have goals that you’re working towards, they go much faster. My husband had a crazy social life, and I buried myself in my studies. When you’re busy with things that keep your mind occupied, you don’t miss each other quite as much (though you do often wish they could be there to share it with you).

Something we found fun was working on surprises for each other that we gave each other once we were together. It’s exciting to work on something for your man and know how he’s going to light up when he gets it. The time apart feels less wasted when you spend some of it preparing things to delight him.

You can totally do this. If you’re ever really discouraged, feel free to PM me. I would love to chat. Remember that you can do anything for a limited amount of time. This isn’t going to last forever. If your man is worth the wait, you will be able to manage.

rooeytoo's avatar

I came to Australia on a tourist visa, was allowed to stay for 6 months. Then renewed it for another 6 months at which time I filed for permanent residency because I had then been with my husband for 1 year. You cannot work or study during time spent here on a tourist visa. Unless you find someone who will pay you under the table which really is not uncommon. And I did hire an immigration agent. He was expensive but worth his weight in gold.

Good luck. You could come in with the illegals, then you would be provided with food, shelter and ammenities for free by the government. Unless the last batch burned down the shelter again.

erint23's avatar

@bobbinhood thank you so much! :) it helps that i hve a job now and i’ve been applying for jobs online like crazy, and we both agreed that patience is so vital and the pay off would be so sweet. i’ve been sending him a couple of snail mails to surprise him sadly, he is not the romantic sort. lol. but i am looking so fwd to seeing him again! the missing bit can be quite frustrating sometimes but i guess and i hope it’ll make us stronger. to be honest, we’re not sure if it’s love because we’ve only managed to spend 2 weeks together and decided that i should move there cause we believe there’s so much potential in this to let it go to waste. my moving there would be to see how much further we can develop this and hopefully it’ll be something more. yep..

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