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KateTheGreat's avatar

What are some of the stupidest lyrics that you've ever heard?

Asked by KateTheGreat (13635points) June 27th, 2011

I was just listening to some pretty bad music. I heard the line “I got the swag and it’s pumping out my ovaries.” It inspired me to ask this question. :)

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84 Answers

obvek's avatar

Check out Mumiy Troll’s “Paradise Ahead.” Russians writing English lyrics.

Dutchess_III's avatar

So many of the old country groups are so hokey. Like…“You know what would look good on you? ME!” Silly stuff!

obvek's avatar

You know you are my sugar.

I dig you like a booger.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

swag swag swag swag

KateTheGreat's avatar

@obvek I’ve heard of Mumiy Troll and they kind of scare me.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

The entire “I’m too sexy” song.

poisonedantidote's avatar

“beep beep, who got da keys to da jeep”

redfeather's avatar

That LFO “Summer Girls” song. It’s so dumb, but I can’t help singing along.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought At least “I’m too sexy” was meant to be silly and funny!

“Who let the dogs out? Woof! Woof!” One time I was working on getting a roof replaced on a building I owned. I called the roofing company, and after a few minutes of conversation I guess….I somehow thought that the lady on the other end could handle me. I suddenly belted out “Who let the rain in? Roof! Roof roof!!” Well, she just cracked up, so I guess I was right!

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

A personal favorite is Neil Diamond’s I Am I Said.
I am, I said;
To no one there.
And no one heard at all,
Not even the chair.
Well, duh…the chair isn’t going to hear you, unless you live at Hogwarts.

If you really want a good laugh, get your hands on a copy of Dave Barry’s Book of Really Bad Songs. While reading it, I was laughing so hard that the housemate came and checked on my sanity.

lonelydragon's avatar

“One Week” by Barenaked Ladies. Although, come to think of it, all of their lyrics are weird.

Plucky's avatar

“Young black and famous, with money hanging out the anus.” – Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down by Puff Daddy. I just heard this the other day.

redfeather's avatar

aw man… I love “One Week”...

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Toooo the windoooooowwwww
TO THE WALL
Aw skeet skeet skeet

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer just ruined that song for me. It is dumb. Damn.

KateTheGreat's avatar

These are all pretty great.

zenvelo's avatar

Someone left a cake out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
Cuz it took so long to bake it,
And I’ll never have that recipe, agaaaiiiinnnn!!!!!!!!

Dutchess_III's avatar

@zenvelo Cm’on man! That was a heartbreakin song!

Put d lime in de coconut and drink both togedder. Put d lime in de coconut and den you feel bedda….

Jude's avatar

My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps..

The whole damn song.

Plucky's avatar

Oh.. here’s another. This one is from Eminem – Ass Like That:
“I ain’t never seen
An ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee-pee go
‘Doing-doing-doing”

KateTheGreat's avatar

@Jude Now that song annoys the piss out of me.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought I apologize. I’ll hook you up with a couple of my friends who adore Neil Diamond.
@Dutchess_III Please send me a PM with an explanation of the meaning to MacArthur Park, because I never got it. Until then, I have to side with @zenvelo.
@Jude I have never laughed so hard from any post on Fluther.

redfeather's avatar

@PluckyDog I used to play that song over and over on my friends iPod because I couldn’t believe she bought it and I would dance and sing along. Thanks for bringing those memories back hahaha

TexasDude's avatar

From Beyonce:

You must not know bout me, you must not know bout me, I could have another you in a minute and in fact he’ll be here in a minute.

Rhyming minute with minute? Real fuckin’ creative, Beyonce.

From Soulja Boy:

This whole goddamn song. And pretty much anything else he’s ever written.

Anything by Nickelback or any contemporary Christian rock band.

chyna's avatar

@redfeather That song Summer Girls is my dogs favorite song. Something about “scooby snacks” in the lyrics make her happy.~
I also sing along with it.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard But, she’s a doo doo head! It must be a warning!

TexasDude's avatar

@KatetheGreat I’d run in the opposite direction if I ever bumped into a girl in a club who had feces on her head.

Jude's avatar

Hahahahaha!! ^^

Cruiser's avatar

Michael Jackson wrote some really “Bad” lyrics…

Your Butt Is Mine
Gonna Tell You Right
Just Show Your Face
In Broad Daylight
I’m Telling You
On How I Feel
Gonna Hurt Your Mind
Don’t Shoot To Kill
Come On, Come On,
Get On Me

Say WHAT???

Jude's avatar

No, Cruiser, it’s CHA’mon. XD

FutureMemory's avatar

Lip Gloss by Lil Mama

They say my lip gloss is cool
My lip gloss be poppin
Im standin at my locker
And all the boys keep stopping

What you know ‘bout me?
What you, what you know ‘bout me?
What you know ‘bout me?
What you, what you know

Is that my lip gloss is poppin
My lip gloss is cool
All the boys keep jockin
And chase me after school

I weep for this generation.

woodcutter's avatar

Du Hast- Rammstein
Champagne Supernova-Oasis

KateTheGreat's avatar

@FutureMemory My lip gloss was poppin’ back in the day.

@woodcutter I used to love Rammstein! Hahahaha.

woodcutter's avatar

@KatetheGreat Like the metal sound but those lyrics are piss ignorant. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha eeeeeeeeeehhh help me

obvek's avatar

I know I’m in the minority, but pretty much anything performed by AC/DC.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@obvek Not too big of a fan either.

@woodcutter Oh yes, they are. Have you heard their song “Pussy”? It’s about as bad.

@Cruiser Oh dear. I never liked him, really.

obvek's avatar

She Bop.

I. Don’t. Even. Understand.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@obvek Never heard of it.

obvek's avatar

@KatetheGreat hahaha! You’re so young.~

woodcutter's avatar

@KatetheGreat They have one worse than Du Hast? God dammit! Now I’m having to fight off the temptation to look that one up. I’m curious…. I know I shouldn’t do it….but I want to know if it will hurt…..like smashing my bits between two bricks. I’m going to have to think about this for a time. I’ll probably be ok as long as nobody sends me a link.

chyna's avatar

@KatetheGreat You’ve never heard of She Bop? You are young and it doesn’t make sense!

KateTheGreat's avatar

@woodcutter Please don’t smash your bits between bricks.

Okay, guys, I know I’m young! Even if I did live during that time, I probably still wouldn’t have known about it!

KateTheGreat's avatar

@woodcutter By the way, that video is the censored version. You’ll have to look up the uncensored version to see it at it’s worse.

woodcutter's avatar

@KatetheGreat you are a very naughty…naughty…girl

KateTheGreat's avatar

@woodcutter I am not! Just showing you how low Rammstein has gotten!

redfeather's avatar

@FutureMemory what about Lil Mama’s other hit she worked on? Chicken Noodle Soup?

Chicken noodle soup, chicken noodle soup, chicken noodle soup, with a soda on the side!

obvek's avatar

@KatetheGreat, if you lived during that time, that is all you would have heard for about 4 months.

Judi's avatar

“You are a magnet and I am steel.”
The first time I heard it I was horrified at how stupid those lyrics were and I still am.

fundevogel's avatar

“It’s the blooper reel from hell and your name is misspelled on your tombstone!”

Plainitively wailed on “Hymn for a Final Cigarette” from the magnificent Cemetery: Songs for the Dead and Dying.

fundevogel's avatar

@Judi They used to play that one at one of my old jobs. My work buddy I and I would sing it all sexy like at eachother.

aprilsimnel's avatar

You see, I’ve been through the desert
on a horse with no name.
It felt good to be out of the rain.

In the desert, you can’t remember your name
‘cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain.

La laaaa la lalalala la la la laaaa laaa.

filmfann's avatar

I know when to go out
I know when to stay in
Get things done

I catch a paper boy
But things don’t really change
I’m standing in the wind
But I never wave bye-bye

But I try, I try

There’s no sign of life
It’s just the power to charm
I’m lying in the rain
But I never wave bye-bye

But I try, I try

Never gonna fall for
Modern love – walks beside me
Modern love – walks on by
Modern love – gets me to the church on time
Church on time – terrifies me
Church on time – makes me party
Church on time – puts my trust in god and man
God and man – no confessions
God and man – no religion
God and man – don’t believe in modern love

It’s not really work
It’s just the power to charm
I’m still standing in the wind
But I never wave bye bye

But I try, I try

aprilsimnel's avatar

@filmfann – So SO close to giving up on Bowie after that one… then I imagined he was thumbing his nose at the whole pop thing. I mean, obviously. He had to have been when everyone knows he writes so much better than that. Though “Let’s Dance” is pretty dreadful lyrically, too.

filmfann's avatar

7 a.m., waking up in the morning
Got to be fresh, got to go downstairs
Got to have my bowl, got to have cereal
Seeing everything, the time is going
Ticking on and on, everybody’s rushing
Got to get down to the bus stop
Got to catch my bus, I see my friends (my friends)

Kicking in the front seat
Sitting in the back seat
Got to make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday
Got to get down on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Getting down on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the weekend

Partying, partying (yeah)
Partying, partying (yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Looking forward to the weekend

7:45, we’re driving on the highway
Cruising so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right
I got this, you got this
Now you know it

Kicking in the front seat
Sitting in the back seat
Got to make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today is Friday, Friday (partying)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We going to have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes afterwards
I don’t want this weekend to end

R.B., Rebecca Black
So chilling in the front seat (in the front seat)
In the back seat (in the back seat)
I’m driving, cruising (yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switching lanes
With a car up on my side (woo, come on!)
Passing by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick-tock, tick-tock, want to scream
Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend
We going to have fun, come on, come on, y’all

YARNLADY's avatar

For you’ve touched her perfect body with your mind. Leonard Cohen, Suzanne

athenasgriffin's avatar

I actually like this song. But the lyrics make me giggle. I like to sing it really loud in my car.

“You Owe Me An IOU”

He was in the habit of taking things for granted
Granted, there wasn’t much for him to take
And the only thing constant was the constant reminder he’d never change

Tight fisted with his compliments, it didn’t seem to bother him
that talk is even cheaper told in bulk
And the only thing constant was the constant reminder
He’d never change

And so she yelled at him:

You owe me an IOU – owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don’t think that I’ll forget
You owe me an IOU – owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don’t think that I’ll forget
I know what I should get this time

She was in the habit of reapplying makeup
Makeup eaten up by crocodile tears
And the only thing constant was the constant reminder she’d never change

Overtly individual – covertly traditional
She couldn’t seem to make up her mind
And the only thing constant was the constant reminder she’d never change

And so he yelled at her:

And so she yelled at him:

You owe me an IOU – owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don’t think that I’ll forget
You owe me an IOU – owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don’t think that I’ll forget
I know what I should get this time

Oh… Is it real? I don’t know
But, I’ll act as if it is
What’s our deal? I don’t know
But, I’ll act as if it is what I think that it is
If it is, then this might just work

They were in the habit of taking things for granted
Granted, they never quite knew what they had
And the only thing constant was the constant reminder they’d never change

And so they yelled out loud:

You owe me an IOU – owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don’t think that I’ll forget
You owe me an IOU – owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don’t think that I’ll forget
I know what I should get
Yeah I know what I should get this time

ucme's avatar

This lady needs a large penis up her sphincter! Ooh ooh ooh, you’re the one that I want.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@filmfann I knew it was only minutes before someone posted that blasted song!

OpryLeigh's avatar

Hot Love – T-Rex

“She ain’t no witch and I love the way she twitch”. Sounds like someone desperately wanted to come up with two words that rhymed that they decided quality was not important.

rebbel's avatar

Your sweet moonbeam
The smell of you in every
Single dream I dream

It’s from Hey, Soul Sister from Train
And I can’t hear it anything else then The smell of urine in every dream I dream.

gondwanalon's avatar

Rebecca Black’s song “Friday”.

TexasDude's avatar

@rebbel that whole song is an abortion.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@redfeather Holy shit. I hate that song with every fiber of being.

@rebbel I hate it horribly. It plays on the radio way too much.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Can I smell yo dick?

TexasDude's avatar

@KatetheGreat if by smell you mean… oh dammit nevermind.

redfeather's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I can’t believe that’s real.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@redfeather But, but, it’s the only way you can find out if yo man be cheatin’ on you!

TexasDude's avatar

@redfeather pretty gross, ain’t it?

redfeather's avatar

@KatetheGreat why you comin home, at five in the mone?

KateTheGreat's avatar

@redfeather Just chillin’ wit my homies. Dontchu try smellin’ my dick now. I’mma hit you.

woodcutter's avatar

LMAO. I’ve heard about that song but never heard it before now. It prints a bizarre visual. Is that where the saying comes from….“that don’t pass the smell test?” I hear it a lot in political commentary.

aprilsimnel's avatar

The “smell test” in politics implies something smells like garbage or something spoilt.

Smelling a guy’s junk in order to detect a stranger’s hoo-ha is…

…bizarre – and nasty! Ewww!

woodcutter's avatar

@aprilsimnel Yeah but now whenever that phrase comes up it’s going to conger up images of a cheatin dick. There’s got to be a tie in somewhere down the line with those guys.

Schroedes13's avatar

Hopped up out of bed, turn my swag on,
Took a look in the mirror, said what’s up

brutal….

KateTheGreat's avatar

@Schroedes13 I wonder if turning on swag is like turning on the lights. Where can I find the bloody switch?

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