How much until you become disheartened? (Details inside).

These days I give it up pretty quick. When younger then I’d imagine every reason in the world for there to still be some hope, some reasoning or whatever for the person to go my way. As I aged and didn’t like humiliation then I learned to leave it be and write it off if I got any whiff of the “they’re just not into you” vibe.

I don’t think there should be a time limit for one to say ” I give up ” .

One should try until there’s no way to achieve their goal [ the other person either moves far, far away OR gets married etc ] .

I don’t think you have to try long and hard at all. There are ways of finding out pretty quickly if the other person is interested in you or not. If you find out that he’s not interested in you, that should be your cue to stop persuing that person. Otherwise your interest will turn into obsession and might cause you to act like a stalker.

It doesn’t matter how much you like/love someone or feel like that person is your soul-mate or your one and only (which is only a myth anyway) if that person doesn’t feel the same way about you. To continue to persue that person, when you know that he doesn’t feel the same way about you, is kind of sad and not very fun for you (or the other person).

I’ve been on both sides of this coin before. It hurts to find out that your beloved does not feel the same way about you and it will feel even worse, if you keep on trying to force that person to care for you, because the other person is going to try to flee from you, or one day they might get up in your face and tell you to knock it off, or if you e-mail them to find out why they are ignorning you, they will probably ignore you even more.

It’s equally (although it feels different) horrible to have someone that you have no feelings for, continually try to persue you. It’s icky.

It’s much better for both parties, in the long run, to figure out where they stand, early on.

The best way to find out if someone that you like, likes you in the same way, is for you to ask them out on a date (2 times only, if they turn you down twice, they’re not interested in you. You can give them the benefit of the doubt that they were busy or indisposed the first time you asked).

If you get the chance to go out on a date, you can figure out pretty quickly if that person likes you or not by their choice of words, body language etc.

And, the best way to find out if they are interested in you, in a romantic way, is to ask them directly, or have someone that you trust, ask them for you.

Quick! Don’t let this kind of thing drag out for weeks, months or years.

@Hibernate Do you think that a person should do things like continually moon over a person who shows you no interest? What about following that person around constantly and acting all lovey-dovey towards them, even if they show no interest. Or what about constantly calling, texting, e-mailing, doing drive bys and checking the person’s FB status, even if that person has shown known interest? What about if the other person has made it clear that he’s in a relationship with someone else, should a person wait around and hope that they break up? What if that person, makes some vague statement like, “I’m not sure how I’ll feel next year?” should one still persue that person for that long? What about if a person has initially agreed to a FWB’s type of relationship, but then falls in love with that person, should she still do everything in her power (including all of the above) to try to force the other person to feel differently?

I’m not saying that you have done any of these things (although most of us have probably done at least one of these things). I guess what I am saying is why should a person keep on trying to persue someone until there’s no way to achieve their goal, when you can find out pretty quickly how the other person feels about you.

I just can’t imagine the motivation of trying and trying and trying to get another person, who clearly or even vaguely hasn’t shown any real interest in you. Dragging it out, just makes it worse for both people, the persued and the persuer.

I agree with @Neizvestnaya that you can easily pick up on the “he’s just not that into you vibe” pretty quickly if a person is interested in learning the signs.

I’ve noticed, because of the multitudes of questions about un-requited love on Fluther, that a lot of people don’t know the signs. Maybe some of the more experienced (in love and loss) jellies would like to start another question (so as not to derail this one) about what the “signs” are, both subtle and direct that give you an idea when someone is not interested in you.

That would be Pepe le Pew I’m not like that. If the other person isn’t interested I don’t pursue matters. I feel that people either like me or they don’t and either way is fine.

I remember watching Pepe le Pew when I was a kid. He went after the cat because she got run over by a guy doing road markings, and she got a white stripe down her back, so Pepe thought she was another skunk.

Anyway to answer the OP’s question, I would give up fairly quickly once the other person fails to show any positive interest. Relentless pursuit might be funny in a cartoon but in real life it’s creepy and stalker-ish.

If the other person is not interested, it stops there.

If someone never really shows interest in me, then it’s not really a big deal. I’ll disappear as soon as they say no one time. The real problem is someone who is initially interested in me, and I start falling for them. Then they change their minds. That’s when it’s hard for me to let go. Then I will keep on hoping and drop by time and again, especially when drunk. But as the person keeps on being cold and dark, it gradually comes to me that she really isn’t going to relent, and I crawl off to my cave to lick my wounds.

@wundayatta It is really bad, when that happens. Because the other person gives you some hope, maybe flirts with you a little bit or a lot, and even takes you out on a date, maybe kisses you passionately, or even has a few sessions of great sex with you. But then all of a sudden, they stop calling, they avoid you and stop communicating with you at all, but they never give you a reason why.

I’d rather have someone tell me that I stink or I’m boring, or that my best friend is prettier than me, or that they are gay, rather than to have them act all sweet and lovey-dovey for 6 months, then when we finally get together, have them drop all communication. This scenario seems to be pretty common. I’ve seen it a lot in Fluther questions, I’ve had it happen to me, and I’m sure almost everyone (males and females equally), except the most awesome or oblivious amongst us jellies, has had it happen to them. What’s really terrible about it, is that it sometimes makes you question your own judgement about whether you can figure out if someone is interested in you or not. Because first, it seemed like they were, and then poof they weren’t. Or was it that you just got it all wrong in the first place and that they never had any interest in you in the first place? But then you try to figure out why they were flirting with you and kissing you. That particular situation, makes for crazy living.

Hopefully our young @jailbait will never have to deal with that pesky situation.

We should come up with some type of a chart for people to fill out when they are planning to dump us, just so we’ll know why, and try to avoid hooking up with the same type of people again. It would be like a calling card that you could show to your next potential date, to avoid all of the hub bub.

Mark all boxes that apply:

Too stinky

Decided to sleep with your best friend

Decided that I am not bi afterall, and I’m actually completely gay

Didn’t know what you were talking about when you used the term mirepoix

Turns out that I’m asexual and don’t even like diddling with myself.

I’m a drunk

I like video games way more than I like you

I like foosball way more than I like you

I only like to eat cheeseburgers and hot wings with ranch dressing, nothing else

I’m so busy with online porn that I don’t have time to date you

I don’t plan to ever interact with any of your friends or family members and since you do, well…

I don’t want to have to clean the skid marks out of my underwear or my toilet at my apartment

I’m afraid that your cat will want to suck on my skin

Your dog keeps looking at me when I’m nekked

My really mean, atrociously wicked, serial cheating, cellulite riddled, credit card stealing, ex-girlfriend has come back and we’re getting married, because I loved her all along, even though I told you I was over her and that she’s a bitch.

OK, now I understand why you stopped calling me. : )

I’ve been courting the same woman for over 50 years, she married me but I still have to woo her because she’s tough. I’ll probably become disheartened in another 20 years or so.

You have to be careful though, there comes a point where wooing becomes stalking and you really don’t want the police involved.

@Kardamom I get how you are so confused .. You support ” I do not feel the vibe ” though you raise a lot of “IFS” for a lot of possibilities .
Not to mention that one can never know how a girl feels about him [ I’m saying this being a guy ] when most times girls try to act different than they are . YES means NO and NO means YES so thus the big confusion . Mos times they are clear but how can one figure it out which is which and when .
You say that signs are visible . Okay . Keep in mind though every one is different and while some cases may be similar in the end they are not . When something might look fine it may not be so .