General Question

ChocolateCoveredStarfish's avatar

Embarrassment of old scars?

Asked by ChocolateCoveredStarfish (222points) July 7th, 2011

I have a lot of old scars – one just under my collar bone from a central venous catheter, one on the side/back of my ribcage from a thoracotomy, a large one across my stomach from a nephrectomy. But the one that embarrasses me the most is a small indent in my stomach from a feeding tube. It looks kind of like this:

I’m pretty self-conscious about it because people have teased me before, calling it a second belly button. I won’t wear a bikini because of it. And it’s summer and I’m tired of always having to cover it up. Any advice?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

20 Answers

Judi's avatar

Either you cover them up, or you get more comfortable in your own skin. There are products like Mederma that can help minimize them, but it sounds to me like you are a major survivor of some very dificult situations. If you could see them as a badge of honor, a sign of your overcomming spirit, maybe you would see how shallow those who tease you are and know that you are stronger, and braver than most.

gailcalled's avatar

I can’t believe that anyone would tease you. Stand proud, flaunt your ability to survive and do the dance of joy.

I would challenge anyone who makes a disparaging remark. Just keep your voice and pitch calm and measured. Shame, shame on them.

For example; “I am really thrilled to be alive and kicking. Do you think that your remarks are
appropriate? Please don’t do this again.”

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

People are horrible idiots, sometimes. I’m sorry, be strong, your body has helped you, it’s been through a lot, I know it’s hard to love it (I struggle with this myself) but you deserve to love it.

chyna's avatar

I know a girl who absolutely loves scars. She shows hers off and wants to look at other people’s scars. Turn your thinking around and instead of being embarrassed by them, flaunt them. Relish them. They are a part of who you are, why you are still among us.

everephebe's avatar

Scars are stories, it’s good to have them. I must agree with those who have suggested that you flaunt them. Own them, “rock” them with pride. You have nothing to be ashamed of and anyone who tries to make fun of you is silly. You can shut them up with a back-story true or not. :D I adore both stories and scars myself.

gailcalled's avatar

@all; Can you think of anything @ChocolateCoveredStarfish could use as an effective and educational retort to make to the folks who speak without thinking?

Cruiser's avatar

I think scars are a hell of a lot sexier than tattoos! Wear em with pride as you earned them! ;)

wilma's avatar

I also have quite a few surgical scars.
When an unthinking teen made a crack about a fresh scar on my neck after spinal surgery,
I looked her right in the eye and quietly said, “Yes I lived through that one”. Her mouth opened in an attempt at a retort, but nothing came out.


Scars like that show that you’re a survivor. Don’t be embarrassed. Those people who tease you are cowards. Just know that you’ve survived major hurdles in your life, and the scars you have are a testament to what you have gone through and what you have overcome. Be proud of them. I would be, if I went through what you have. You’re stronger than you think.

Coloma's avatar

So. You have scars.
Thats a fact, why resist it?

It is what it is.

I was a dare devil as a young woman, rode horses, bikes, water skied, and have several big scars.

A shoulder scar from a bad horse accident that required a pin in my shoulder and a 10 inch incision from kidney surgery.
Numerous smaller ones, and each has a great story behind them.
Try to let go of your self consciousness, your scaras are a part of you, and they make you more interesting.

I have never had any self consciousness about my scars and if you’re worried about men and sexuality…forget it…they won’t notice and if they do, it opens up some great story telling. :-D

WestRiverrat's avatar

I had a friend that had targets tattooed around his knife and bullet scars. Needless to say we call him Bullseye now.

Your friends, family and colleagues will accept your scars, everyone else it doesn’t matter if they do or not.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Wear what you like! If people stare, who cares because you are up and running. So many people without scars are afraid to wear bikinis, screw em. For people rude enough to make hurtful comments to you or around you, roll it off, say something like “yeah, pretty rough huh? Life is great though, really is…”

Jeruba's avatar

@gailcalled, how about “What do you think it would take to leave a mark like that?”

linguaphile's avatar

Don’t wait ‘til you’re 40 or 50 to not give a rat’s ass about what others think… it’s a waste of a good 20, 30 years of worry. What everyone says- wear them with pride knowing that you are a survivor and have stories to tell.

chyna's avatar

Them: “What’s that scar on your stomach? Weird looking.”
You in an excited voice: “Oh yeah, that’s my coolest scar to date! It’s from my nephrectomy. Bet you don’t even know what that is. I have more. Want to see?”
It’s all in the tone and your demeanor. Your excitement will be contagious and they will have to smile at your enthusiasum.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@gailcalled—“Stand proud, flaunt your ability to survive and do the dance of joy.”

Exactly! What a nice way to put it!:))

gailcalled's avatar

@Jeruba: Perfect but for the conditional. I would say, “What do you think it takes to leave a mark like that?”

WestRiverrat's avatar

You could always just answer ‘I won, you should see what the other guy/gal looks like.’

Mariah's avatar

Those scars are proof that you’ve handled far bigger shit than the idiots who would tease you can probably even imagine. I hope someday your pride in that can overcome your embarrassment.

wilma's avatar

You would know @Mariah . You have dealt with a lot of health issues too.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther