Is attraction the same for both women and men?

I think it varies by person, but yes, women do fantasize in that way. It’s hard to say whether it’s the “same”, though.

It takes all kinds.. I don’t think there is a single “turn on” that is exclusive to any specific sexual preference.

I don’t think that anything is “the same” for men and women. But nothing is “the same” between most men or most women, either, I think.

I do like the aphorism that: “Men talk to women in order to have sex with them, and women have sex with men in order to talk with them.”

I didn’t say that “I believe in it”, but I like it. I know some men it applies to.

No. Each individual is different. Generaizing doesn’t help unless there are factors given. Do 16yr old males & 16yr old females “feel” the same attraction? Possibly. Does a 20yr old male compared to a 50yr old male? Doubtful.

I think, that in general, men fantasize about the physical possibilites (or dreams) upon seeing an attractive women, more than women fantasize about the physical possibilities when they see a man.

Not really. Women are much more focused on personality.

I heard we women tend to check out shoes. I thought that was rubbish…until I met my future husband for the first time. I checked out his shoes without even thinking about it…I thought he’d have on boots. He had on tennis shoes. I remember being disappointed (but, I soon learned, he wears boots real good!) Funny that. Come to think of it…shoes…?

I do not picture men naked.
When there is physical attraction involved, it is usually centered around his face.
Dunno if that’s common for women in general at all.

Being attractive never hurts, but I think women are more drawn to a man’s personality & attitude – we usually need to feel that there is more to the man than just what we can see.

I’ve heard it said before that :
Men fall in love with the woman he’s attracted to, and women become more and more attracted to the man they fall in love with. I think there could be some truth to that. Men, I think, respond to visual triggers. Women respond to the way a man makes her feel. At least for me it was like that. I’ve dated handsome men and I’ve dated some men that weren’t that attractive. I prefer big guys because I’m taller than average for a woman and I like to “feel” feminine. For me, nice smelling cologne is nose porn and it can really ramp up my impression of a man. It just has that affect on me and I think many women are like that. Ultimately, when it comes down to it, the way a man carries and conducts himself is what does it for me. I could never be attracted to a jerk. Never! If he is unkind to an elderly woman or a weak animal, it turns my stomach. The best looking guy in the world could make himself look truly ugly by his actions, and a chubby short guy can draw women’s attention like flies to honey by being charming and gracious and being kind. I think I’m a bit old fashioned but I can’t help it. It’s just how I feel.

I can’t think of much that is more individualized, rather than generalized, than what attracts anyone to anything. Fortunately.

@CWOTUS mentioned the aphorism: “Men talk to women in order to have sex with them, and women have sex with men in order to talk with them.”

That’s not all men do to get sex. They make a lot of money or they become sports or musical stars and they do a variety of other things so they can get laid. A lot of politicians get caught cashing in on this particular “benefit” of office. Who knows how many didn’t get caught? There was one basketball player—maybe Kareem Abdul-Jabar—who wrote, in his autobiography, that he had fucked over a thousand women.

Performance stars have groupies and it seems to me they boast of picking girls out of audiences for the purpose of sex. The girls seem to like the kind of reflected prestige they get from having had some rock star’s cock inside them.

These are extremes, but I don’t think they are uncommon amongst less famous people. How many male writers write to get laid? How many high school kids play sports and try to be stars so they can get laid? It must work because guys keep on doing it for those reasons. It must work for women, too, if they are willing to get fucked by some guy for those reasons.

Maybe it isn’t the men’s bodies, per se, that attracts women to men, but it is status and success in many cases—however those are perceived. Women may be sex objects, but men are “success objects” just as often. To the degree that a body is involved in a man’s success, I’d say that women use attraction to the body as a sign of a successful guy—someone who would be good to breed with.

I doubt if many women would be consciously aware of this underlying criteria: good genes, but I think it’s still operating in ways much deeper and imperceptible than our consciousnesses.

It’s not any different for men. Big boobs and an hourglass figure and a symmetrical face are all things that we correlate with good genes, although we’re not aware of it.

The focus on the body has generally proven to be a reasonable way to determine genetic suitability for both men and women. However, men and women also have brains, and many folks with brains look at other things besides body to determine genetic suitability. Things like intelligence (which is correlated with looks according to some studies), humor, abilities, and other intangible things like personality are all used by both men and women to decide who they are attracted to.

I suspect this has to do with how much thinking a person has done. I think those who have done more thinking (which I believe is correlated with education) are more likely to go beyond the biological indicators of suitability to these more abstract qualifiers. However, no matter how evolved (educated/wise) we may think we are, the biological factors are still in operation, to some extent.

That is something that I, personally, have struggled with most of my life. I am immediately attracted to a beautiful woman. I start thinking about sex pretty much instantly. I have to remind myself that there are other important things. But it’s a struggle. One part of my mind seems to be saying “fuck that stuff, let’s get fucked!” Another part says, “Wundy—that don’t work for you. Go talk to her. The only thing you got going for you is your brain, such as it is.”

Why don’t we ever hear of political women getting caught in sex scandals?