General Question

Londongirl's avatar

Why are guys so scared of commitment?

Asked by Londongirl (1880points) July 26th, 2011

Why are guys so scared of commitment?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

7 Answers

everephebe's avatar

Well, many are not.

I’ll try to answer anyways though. Some are scared of committing to the wrong person, or of committing and then meeting someone “better.” Usually when you meet a guy who is scared/not-interested in commitment it means they’re not really all that into you. Id est, it may just be you honey. It may be a genetic thing or it may be a socialized issue. Also, you may want to ask a question of equal essentialism: Why are women so interested in commitment? Many are not, but of the ones who are, why? The answer you yourself give may be heuristic of the “opposite” male temperament.

Commitment may have something to do with children: Maternal instinct vs Male “sewing of wild oats.” However these are stereotypes, and it is best that we avoid asking ourselves questions like these (ones that engage essentialism). Context may also help for such future questions.

Londongirl's avatar

Well, it is just a normal question many people don’t know…

For girls want commitment, the reasons being are biological reason, wanting to settle down with a guy and feel secured.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Well…To me that’s sort of the main stereo-type, but I guess it’s true in reality too…But because they don’t want to commit since they know that they won’t follow through. But that’s just my own opinion as we know, there isn’t a real answer that is correct. Whatever way you put it on why most can’t commit it’ll be right unless it’s something insanitary.. But that’s my answer! I’m one of the guy that actually wants to commit honestly :P

dabbler's avatar

It’s scary. Freedoms lost, potential misunderstandings, everything’s fine now why mess with it? Women who have been in serious relationships are no less cautious.

Anyone who takes it seriously will treat it with some trepidation if not fear.
The breakthrough is to realize that those things are unavoidable in relationship, and there are opportunities unique to relationship. Then say yes.

Londongirl's avatar

Most of the guys I know have commitment phobia as you guys stated.

May be women really different, I can only say of myself that I don’t need to many to love just one quality love is enough, so I am happy and content to commit.

Cruiser's avatar

Because if it was as simple as you say providing “security and commitment” in a relationship…the divorce rate would be .05%! Women say that they just want that but in the long run it is much more complicated than just that and men are wise to this ruse hence the seeming struggle to tie a man down and rightly so!

wundayatta's avatar

Why would a guy commit if a girl would put out and get pregnant without a commitment? Guys, after all, are shiftless losers who only want to father lots of kids with lots of women, and have no interest in caring for those kids. But girls are all stupid and fuck guys (with no birth control even) and they aren’t even married.

Can’t you see through this? All guys are just lazy and the good ones are already taken up. You’ve lost before you even started. We could have a system like in other traditions where parents arrange marriages for their sons. Then at least you’d have a marriage and a dowry, so if the guy took off, you’d have something to live on. God forbid you should work for your own living.

Why are guys afraid of commitment? It’s not fear. It’s common sense.

Under the Orange tree.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther