Social Question

redfeather's avatar

Ladies: when you're eating around a guy you like, do you try to eat light?

Asked by redfeather (6507points) August 10th, 2011 from iPhone

I went to ihop with a group of people the other night. One of the guys got up to go to the bathroom and my friend said, “oh good, now I can eat.” and shoved like, 8 huge bites in her mouth. Then went back to picking at her food when he came back. I’ve never really done that, have any of you?

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40 Answers

beccagolling's avatar

Used to when my fiance and I first started dating. Now I’m just a pig! xD

KatawaGrey's avatar

I’ll try not to eat something messy, but I’m not going to eat almost nothing just to impress someone. The way I see it, if we end up dating, he’s going to be seeing me eat a lot, why would I make myself that uncomfortable at first?

redfeather's avatar

I just eat like I normally do when I’m on a date. My friend literally scared me and I jumped when she lunged for her fork when that guy left for the bathroom

Jude's avatar

I chow down. In front a of a guy or a lady.

redfeather's avatar

@Jude that’s my girl. “gimme that Tbone. Rare, please.”

SpatzieLover's avatar

Nope. All the guys I know wouldn’t care who saw them eat, either.

redfeather's avatar

I’m more concerned about manners I think. I don’t wanna look like a slob. I couldn’t stand watching my ex eat. He held his fork like a shovel and his elbow would be up in the air and he would eat straight through chicken bones… Ugh. Those were the only time I didn’t eat but it sure as hell wasnt because I wanted to look dainty.

rts486's avatar

I’ve known girls who would pick at their food while on a date, and then pig out once they were home.

Once, when I was dating my wife, we went out for pizza. I had a late and large lunch so I wasn’t too hungry. When we finished I commented how she had one more slice of pizza than me. I didn’t think it was a big deal or any wrong with it, just an observation. Holy cow! You should have seen her reaction. It was as if I called her a pig or something. We have a good laugh about it now.

Jude's avatar

I like women, when they see a plate of wings; they get “mad at it”.

Blueroses's avatar

Priceless. I have friends who do this too, it’s crazy. I ordered a nice medium-rare steak on a date and I was starving when it came, so I did it justice. My date said it was a huge turn on to see me attack the meat. He said a healthy appetite for food implied a healthy appetite in other areas.

It led to a discussion about the bird-picking girls. He said “You just know, if they’re afraid to eat, they will also be afraid to do more than lie there and tolerate sex.”

Blackberry's avatar

Tip of the day: Guys see through it. We know the average person doesn’t eat 3 bites when they go out….

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Blackberry No kidding. My curves would give it away ;) As would my eyes when the Filet Mignon is served

redfeather's avatar

Now I’m hungry. I wanted to eat my bread bowl at Panera today but didn’t have time. Why, oh, why didn’t I bring it home?!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@redfeather It always comes around to food and it makes me hungry too.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Nope. I eat what I want off the plate and then ask if they mind that I ask to take any remainder home. My concern was usually appearing wasteful if I couldn’t eat all the food or like you propose, eating less than normal just to appear “dainty” which to me is still wasteful. Some guys think it’s tacky to ask to take home leftovers but not any of the guys I’ve stuck with.

creative1's avatar

I eat as I normally do but the problem I have now that I have had gastric bypass I can only pick at food so I guess I don’t have to worry either way lol But before I had the surgery it never bothered me whom I was with, I ate the same way.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I am not self-conscious eating around a guy and I will slap their steak into next week if they look at me funny. ;)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Yes, I’m aware or this insane phenomenon. And, no.

KatawaGrey's avatar

Unfortunately, there are folks who care a lot about this kind of thing. I work with a girl who is dating this guy who apparently gets all riled up if she eats sweets in front of him or eats more than a certain amount when they’re out together. There are just enough people out there who care about this that the thinking has infected the general population. Like I said, I will try to avoid messy foods when out on a date for the first time, but amount of food is of no consequence to me.

On a related note, sometimes, when I am out with a male friend and I order something light like a salad or a couple sides instead of an actual entree, they get all eye-roll-y at me because they think I’m eating light deliberately. Sometimes, all I want is a salad or a side of mashed potatoes.

@Neizvestnaya: I’ve never understood the whole idea that taking leftovers home is tacky. I paid for that food, I’m damn well going to eat it. I don’t really care if someone thinks it’s tacky if I take leftovers home. All I can think is how it’s going to make fine eating the next morning.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@KatawaGrey: I’ve never understood well either but when I was a kid then it was taught as some sort of faux pas. If you were determined, it was then okay to take a prize bit of meat home under the guise of giving it to pets.

Me, I’m with you, that food is paid for, supposedly it’s delicious and usually enough for another full meal so I’m not about to let it get scraped into a garbage pail. Mine-mine-mine!

MilkyWay's avatar

Nope, I eat how I usually eat. Like a wolf.

Seelix's avatar

@KatawaGrey has described the way I am pretty well. If I’m trying to impress, I’ll be careful with what I order so as not to make a mess of myself, but whether I’m eating a lot or a little or whatever totally doesn’t matter to me.

Kardamom's avatar

I used to do that when I was really young, because back in the 60’s and 70’s it was considered un-lady like to eat a lot of food, especially because the fellows would think that you were going to baloon up into a fat person. The guys could always eat whatever they wanted, and they clearly didn’t get fat. I always felt very embarrassed eating in front of guys, especially because I didn’t want to appear messy or greedy.

Thankfully I grew out of that mode when I became a vegetarian, inspired by one of my male friends that was also a vegetarian, and then I became a food enthusiast and learned that food is a wonderful, joyful thing to be shared with everyone who is willing to partake. I usually tell people that I have a big appetite (which I do) and now I don’t worry about it. But I do use proper table manners and don’t talk with my mouth full. I just don’t worry about whether a man will be disgusted by what and how much I eat anymore, because it doesn’t matter.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@Blueroses I’ve actually had the opposite experience – that if you’re overweight, you best never have a full sized meal (especially an American full sized), or else we will be giving you “the look” and possibly “the lecture”. And that goes doubly for any fatty or sweet food. I haven’t actually found any men who think it’s hot when women have a healthy appetite unless they never gain any weight from it (which they will if they aren’t a teenager any more). Where are you finding all these men ;)?

I don’t bird pick or eat 3 bites, but I’m much more careful to eat slowly and stop sooner so as to also not eat more than I need. I usually pre-eat if I’m going to something where someone else (anyone else, not just men I like) is providing the food, because what if they don’t have anything I like, or the portions are both tiny and expensive and I don’t really want to make them pay $50 for me to not be hungry any more?

chelle21689's avatar

When it’s like a first date and I’m pretty nervous YES!!! LOL I can’t even finish my meal. I think nerves make me lose my appetite and plus I want to talk to them more than eat. Also, another thing is I get self conscious if something is on my lip or face or stuck in my teeth!

6rant6's avatar

About three dates in, I busted a date for always ordering exactly the second cheapest thing on the menu. She owned up and was mortified. Then she started ordering what she wanted. Then we got married. So I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’ve been accused of this on dates in the past, but I’m with @chelle21689. I don’t think that it’s me trying to impress anyone, I just lose my appetite when I’m nervous. I lose my appetite even when I’m not going on a date. If I’m stressed out or nervous, I don’t eat. My friends have a running joke that if I throw a party or a gathering at my house, that someone better make sure I eat something before I have a drink… because it is a guarantee that I haven’t eaten a bite all day. And it’s true, it never fails, I always forget to eat.
Also, I’ve been with my husband for 7 years and I still order the salad. It has nothing to do with impressing anyone, it’s just what I like to eat.

Allie's avatar

Eh, I don’t really think about it that much. I get what sounds good and eat what I can til I’m full. If it’s the whole plate then so what? If he says something about it as anything other than a joke, then he’s an ass and I won’t be going out with him again. :)
I do avoid pasta or anything that might be messy. I may eat like a pig sometimes (hey, girls get hungry too), but I don’t want to look like one.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Back in the day it was always a lose-lose. If I ate like a person, it seemed the guy was appalled; if I ate like a bird, another guy would get, as @KatawaGrey put it so eloquently “eye-rolley”. It was frustrating.

nikipedia's avatar

I guess I have a relatively small appetite, so I’ve never really worried about this? I think I worry more about making sure the other person gets enough to eat.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@JilltheTooth I’m not so convinced that we’ve actually moved past the “back in the day” attitude, because I still see it all. the. time.

MilkyWay's avatar

Clarification: When I said I eat “like a wolf”, I didn’t mean it literally. I just meant I eat as much as it takes to satisfy me. I’m an angel when it comes to table manners.

Love_Story's avatar

No, I have not .

tranquilsea's avatar

When I was dating I only ordered things that wouldn’t be a mess to eat. But I often spent most of the meal conversing and not concentrating on my meal. So I’d have to stop and eat like a devil so we could leave.

I know I’m a bit strange but I find people really interesting and I can get lost in conversation.

aprilsimnel's avatar

If I’m hungry, I’m going to eat.

If that would truly bother any date I had, then I guess that’s our last date.

lemming's avatar

Come to think of it I probably do…wonder why that is? I normally don’t eat like a slob anyway though.

linguaphile's avatar

I eat the way I usually eat and eat whatever my budget can afford. I couldn’t care less about what other people think about what I eat, but I am very careful about HOW I eat. Nothing’s worse that eating across the table from a cow.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I eat light anyway, so does my boyfriend. I probably eat a bit more when he is not around but that’s usually due to boredom!

hobbitsubculture's avatar

My partner of eight and a half years has been cooking for me almost since day one. Our first date (if you can call it that—we were still in high school, and it was at his house after school) involved him making me his special recipe for ramen noodles. I don’t think he would have been too happy if I picked at my food to look dainty or something.

If I did that picking at food thing, and a guy fell for it, then he’s too stupid for me. If I took leftovers home and he objected, then he isn’t practical enough for me. I don’t usually eat a ton of food at restaurants because I’m often a slow eater; I eat for the same amount of time as the people I am with, then get the rest to go.

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