Social Question

Aster's avatar

How would you evaluate this behavior? Serious or not?

Asked by Aster (20023points) November 27th, 2011

My son in law, 40, appears to be the perfect husband, father and son. Great job; helps cheerfully with the kids 7 and 3, is warm and inviting, great attitude and non-argumentative, fun loving “people person”, fantastic wife. They’re all a joy to be around. But he will sometimes get up in the morning, refuse breakfast then have a beer around ten a.m. His happy wife doesn’t mind but he went thru a 12 pack in 24 hours with the help of his wife. Is this a bad sign or the norm?

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12 Answers

Coloma's avatar

Once in a great while no, like on a vacation or camping trip or other long weekend celbration, on a regular basis yes.

Anyone that drinks to excess is NOT as happy as they would have you believe.

Blackberry's avatar

It doesn’t seem like a problem, but there’s not enough information. And sharing 12 beers with someone over 24 hours is nothing at all.

Aster's avatar

@Blackberry 12 of the hours they were asleep. She had 2 or 3.

Blackberry's avatar

@Aster Depends on if he slammed them down or drank them casually while watching TV or something.

Aster's avatar


rebbel's avatar

@Aster “His happy wife doesn’t mind but he went thru a 12 pack in 24 hours with the help of his wife.”
Are both wifes in the sentence the same?
I don’t understand it I think, but the beer drinking, the nine or ten over a 12 hour period is not very extraordinairy to me.
If he would do it on a daily basis then it would be worrying.

Aster's avatar

Sorry if I was unclear. He has one wife.
I am sure he doesn’t do it daily. He has a full time job and would never drink before work . Good point. Glad you brought this up. Just noticing this one time, this morning, made me wonder if it was ok. He was about to drive ten hours with his family to their home.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I would frow up drinking beer first thing in the morning!
I’m thinking it’s a little odd, but each to his own. 12 beers isn’t that many beers.

Aster's avatar

Dutchess, I’m with you. Fwo up.

RedPowerLady's avatar

9 beers in 12 hours, so a beer every hour and a half correct? What if someone drank 9 sodas in one day? It is excessive. Especially if children are present.

Buttonstc's avatar

Anyone who is experienced with alcoholism (either as a treatment professional or as a recovering person) will point out that the key issue isn’t NECESSARILY how much someone drinks. Thats only one part of the total picture.

The more crucial consideration is WHY.

Thats the missing piece of information here so its really not possible to make an accurate assessment of what this means.

And someone who goes through that much booze BEFORE driving on a long trip definitely does not have the best judgement. Granted, it was over a period of time, but still….

The husband himself or even the wife may be able to convince themselves that he wasn’t driving drunk but his driving was definitely impaired. There is no way that it could not have been.

If his wife is concerned about this (apparently) infrequent behavior, she needs to ask him why.

And as @Coloma

Buttonstc's avatar

As Coloma mentioned, anyone who needs to do that much drinking, and I would add especially, prior to driving a long distance, isn’t as happy as they would appear to be.

Something is going on. Precisely what that is would be difficult to say since we cant be inside his head. But if it were my husband I’d be asking some questions before this became a pattern and perhaps scheduling some exploratory couples therapy. Its not normal behavior.

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